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forgiveness for self is a thunderstorm ferocious,
cracking sounds so god awful fearful
that one questions his-her sanity,
an overage so unnatural that
only nature could create it

it is a moment momentousness
when the exhalation of exhaustion,
the winner and loser, both you,
surrender ne’er knowing
which you is which,
life’s son of *****, or just a plain jane mothering version,
either way you say to yourself got to
get past that lousy stinking
love affair
win the race to clean slate,
where the end is insight where everything replaced
in its used to be placed

goaded into melted nothingness,
goaded into believing that’s a real thing,
that when you finally get there,
enough is enough,  
get out of jail ticket will work,
but it ain’t never free,
even if you paid for it in
what you call
throwing bad after good,
monopoly money,
nope, ain’t never free

no idea what to put in the second empty closet,
who needs an attached to-the-wall-tile
toothbrush holder with one extra emptying space,
where to hide picture albums in a space
outta sight, outta mind, you still can find

why you didn’t care enough to
daily mat-wipe street shoes before
riveted in place
before entering your own! apartment and no,
you are consciously unconscious immobilized by
the missing calling out of her “don’t forget”

in the car’s ashtray,
a red kissed blotted red lipstick
tissue that needs discard-action,
but you incapable of either,
those collected records and cd’s,
her teasing your old fashion ways,
reluctance to let go

so you read
“that to forgive one self doesn’t forgive forgetting”
and it hits home, home run, score to the core,
since you wrote those words on a sun rain afternoon,
a punctuating thunderstorm day
refusing to decide
which
haunts worse

<>
emily Sarker Jun 2019
Your eyes.
The way they sparkled when they would lay on me....
That's all I have.
That's all I remember.
Cause if I think farther,
Remember more than that about you,
I'll break down and lose the girl I've been trying to make ever since you left.
So that's all I remember,
Your eyes.
Sorry I can't remember more of you love
laura May 2019
It's not just a game,
it's a lifestyle,
it's a way of putting things behind you,
forgetting about the past,
and focusing on loving the game.
Always have loved the game, and always will. Played for 8 years
Kewayne Wadley May 2019
And when I see you
My heart skips a beat,
Walking out into the middle of the street
Without regard to the cars
darting through the intersection.
Some raising their fingers,
Others intentionally driving faster.

Remembering a time,
Remembering a place that
you were everything I needed.
Everything I could have wanted.

And when I see you
My heart so badly wants to
relive those moments.
Stepping one foot in front of the other.
Dodging near miss
After near miss.
Knowing that deep down
I'll end up getting hit
For not letting go
Zander May 2019
My life.

My aching bones.My ****** hands.My bleeding heart.

When did this begin for me? When did I become this person?

When did this person....become me??

And then I stop and think...
and this person was there all along,
written in the selfishness of my heart and the weakness of

My soul.

Yeah, this person was there all along.

But it wasn't me.

This is not who I want to be.
This is not who I am deep inside.

Inside I'm this caring amazing person...but you will never see her.

I will never see her,

Because I don't know if shes there anymore.

I've been consumed by my own evilness and left with nothing but pain,

My aching bones, my ****** hands, and my bleeding heart.
E B K May 2019
It's just one moment
of forgetting
and then suddenly
the world is ending
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