The nights are
filled with corrupt
doctors and cops.
Justice, like a dog bite.
Madmen prey on
the weak and needy.
This seedy town ain't got
nothing for me.
I'm heading out west,
get a longboard
ride the breeze, and
taste the waves...
all the way to
Hawaii baby.

in the unrestrained tornado
i heard the scream of a little girl
she screeched and screeched and got louder with every breath she took
i heaved deeply
so deep i felt my ribs crack a bit
but it didn’t impair me
because i was too locked in to her helpless and terrified yet determined screaming
so locked in
that i didn’t take a moment to breathe

     and that’s when the winds died down
     the roaring halted
     stopped
     the shouting of the young girl was all gone
     the uncomfortableness that i felt, dissipated
     into the shadow of the night
     no damage had been done
     everything is all good now
     i didn’t know natural disasters could be
     created inside the mind of a poser

i write and bruise my fingers just to escape
just to get a remedy for this pain
the pressure stops burning ever so slightly
but the scars still remain
still hang on my flimsy body
making towns and cities and villages
people living inside of my solar system

STOP!
calm down.
they can’t see you.
their eyes are like steel.
like iron.
life kills.
that’s what’s so evil about it.
but you can’t escape the jaws of the inevitable.
you need to stop thinking.
i mean, the overthinking type.
the type of thinking that makes your brain spin.
that escalates every tiny situation.
your pain comes from opening your eyes too wide.
shut them.
breathe.
stop panicking.
you will never be able to escape except in death.
but even the dead are lonely.
even the dead char and sear in pits they were locked in.
stop overthinking.
you write because you want to evaluate what you feel.
not just because it’s the only way to bolt away from crowded rooms and upset stomachs.
don’t bruise your fingers while touching the pen.
stop overthinking.

wAiT...
i think that i get it
sorry for all the run-on sentences
i don’t care much for punctuation
i sure don’t think rapidly about that
i just do it
so, in settings where it matters
everything in my brain halts
and i freeze
why can’t i just breathe?
it pains me to think that i am hurting my own self with my own knives
stabbing me in the heart
i shouldn’t let my hands become numb because of scribbling in the lines
i should press the pen gingerly upon the paper
softly
and i should just do it
without hesitation
just prove i can withstand the erosion
but at least i know
i write to express
and
life kills
that’s what’s so evil about it.

it's easy to criticize people
for how they deal with pressure.
but it's important to realize that pressure,
like people, come in all different shapes, colors, and sizes;
they affect people differently.
because he doesn't drink just to drink.
and she doesn't smoke just to smoke.
they're trying to forget how broken they are inside.
trying anything to escape their minds.
escape their lives.
and, at the end of the day, that's all we want to do too.

Escape from what?
The pieces impalpable
Once part of thy self, are
Nowhere to be found
How many times will you try
To cope up
From some feeling
Very profound.

Escape from what?
Your own self or the world
Is only one force governing you?
Or is it dyarchy, through and through!
You try to split from the other
But it has an embrace
Around you
With the tightest glue

Escape from what?
The happy or the gloom
Calm or chaos,
You do have a clue
Or do you?
Is it numb or very eerie
Always sad, never cheery?

Escape from what?
Reality, harsh and smooth
O dear, stay here
It is going to be a tough root
Though all the impalpable
Would unravel
Someday on a blue moon!

I have nothing left in this world to call my own,
no where safe enough to call my home.
All I really have is my writing stemmed from the thoughts
replaying on an endless loop inside my head.
I believe sometimes that when I write them down and create
that maybe it’s my one way to get them to escape.
My pain is truly stitched into each and every word.
I hope that they will one day possibly be seen, and I can
actually be heard.