you know
if we never moved
perhaps we could stop time
everything would be frozen
in this infinite moment
the stars would stay in the same position
on this deep blue canvas
if we never left that beach
everything would stay still
if we never moved
you know

You were like the Moon to my dark sky, for one moment,
And a lost star in another.
You were like a sigh of relief for one moment,
And a breath to fight hard for, in another.
You were like one moment's epiphany,
And a beautiful stranger in another.

Enough is enough.
I'm done sitting in a room of darkness.
I'm done shouting into the void of black.
I want the world to see me for who I am.
For without the controversy of a feeling man,
I would not be what I am.

Enough is enough.
I want the world to see,
what I was meant to be.
I want my creativity,
to pour and pour out of me.
For without the controversy of a creative man,
I would not be what I am.

Enough is enough.
I need the world to relinquish me,
from this undying epiphany.
This epiphany which tells me,
that I am nothing without my pen.
I am this pen,
and this pen is I.
Bleeding ink to page,
while I figure out what next to write.
As though there is nothing to do,
but write.
For without the controversy of a passionate man,
I would not be what I am.

When enough is enough,
you suddenly become,
good enough.

One: my life spins in small circles
that very infrequently stretch
to somewhere as far as Benidorm

Two: that after 12 years married
she’s right about most things
so I’ll listen more

Three: a lot of annoying stuff
is dust in a much bigger wind
so look for the wins

Four: the kids are what it’s for
and all their silliness, fear and anger
is a handle to clutch on to

Five: we are here and alive
and we should forever
fight to keep it so

"You're just a kid
you shouldn't worry about these things
she shouldn't have depended on you in that way
stop trying to fix everything
Because you're too young to be allowed
to feel the weight on your shoulders
You're just
a
kid."

~~~~

I always felt older somehow,
always felt heavy and sad since the day
I was born.
The other kids ignored me
and when they didn't
they taunted me
They called me names
'Dog'
'Lesbian'
'******'
I learned to ignore it
and focus on others
to stand up
and let them cry on me
I learned to understand
before fight
and to wait
before love
I've learned that emotions
can be painful
like a sea urchin stuck
to your torso
I watched pain drip from a cut
I watched the red flood the marble sink
and I watched it all go down the drain
washed away by the purity of water
And those voices
I know that everyone has them now
and they told me to cry it out
instead of biting my lip and smiling
I see pain hidden in everyone around me
But I know it's not my business to soothe them
Nor do I know how
The pain they feel is no longer mine
I think
I think
I'm my own person again.

~~~~~

But I'm just a kid
So I can't comfort you
until I'm older.