I feel light and fluffy,
like a pearl-colored cloud,
or like scrambled eggs
whipped to perfection
with butter and cream.

I feel joy everywhere,
even in the tiny crevices
ugly feelings try
so hard to hide in.

There's a sun inside of me,
always,
but some days it's overcast
and rains for too long.
Today is different, though.

Light and life are one, and
the sky and the earth
divine and bewitching once more.

Took a little trip down the garden of Eden

And it had the best fruit I've ever tasted.

Sometimes,
I find myself doing something
So minuscule
So mundane
That somehow my mind wanders to him
And I feel my heart break
A freshly cracked egg,
Just right for breakfast

The alarm got us up before the sun fully awoke
we pulled our sleepy bodies out of bed
got on our grungies not even fixing coffee yet,
got our gear together in the pickup
and headed for the peninsula
where we hoped the sand bass would be schooling,
searching for some breakfast of worms or flashy things that looked to them like food.
If we were lucky we hooked a few which we would cook later
or save for the freezers back home.

When we got back to the campground
we’d comb our hair brush our teeth and head into town
for Pat’s Cafe who served the best biscuits, eggs, hashbrowns, and pancakes in the region
and if we were lucky Pat herself with her long black hair and **** lips
and substantial hips
would stop by and in her Texas twang and charm
she’d tell us about their farm
we’d speak of our wives
and some of the small details of our lives
and how we loved that large beautiful body
that sparkled and sang to us each spring
and how we savored dipping into Lake Whitney.

In late afternoon we would laze about the RV
discussing Theilhard and Jesus and Charlie
he’d speak of Bob Wills and we’d share
trying to make sense of the spirits there
and how they made us leap and soar.
We spoke in sync and explored
lines of novels, and fascinating texts
that made us eager to discover what was next
that would make us laugh or shed tears
of all those memorable years
we’d been brothers
afloat of the same waters
becoming men who hoped to make their mark
spark something good in the minds
of other seekers who also drank wines
fermented in corridors of learning
who had the same yearning
for knowledge and truth
embedded early and deeply in our youth.

Those involuntary thoughts of hurting yourself,
to cut yourself,
to tear your body to pieces.
To cry without restraint.
To scream so hard your voice breaks.
To break into chunks of fat and mold,
colliding onto the floor.
To dissolve in the ocean,
To self-combust;
To be born again and whole.

Thinking about a past lover
isn’t exactly the healthiest outlet
But it makes getting over you
a lot easier, I’ve got to admit.
I saw myself in you
I guess we’re more alike
than I ever knew.
World class pieces of ****,
Who don’t know when to shut the
**** up or quit.
I’m done recycling my hate.
I’m done with my Freudian fate.
I need to rise from these ashes.
Can’t set myself up for any back lashes.
I’ve never felt more self aware,
now all I gotta do is get up and out of here.
I think I’ve discovered my worse fears.
Mamas boys, becoming my mother.
No longer scared of getting beat on by my brothers.
All I gotta do know is stop thinking about my past lover.
Mind my business
Maybe go for a ride on my flying nimbus
I’d bring you along but your heart isn’t pure
Don’t come running back to me like I’m the cure
I’m sorry but your going to have to work it out on your own..
I’ve got my own demons to silence in this egg shaped dome.

Confidence is going out in short shorts
With legs a gradient of egg white to fried egg
Too bad this yolk will not break
Trapped in the shell eternally.