#eatingdisorder poems on Hello Poetry

Alex Sep 2022

ana

they can't see, they can't see
that it coats my bones, bulges against my skin;
those little yellow bubbles
that make me want to give in.

#eatingdisorder #ed #anorexia #ana

Jay Aug 2022

offhanded

so it starts with a girl, barely the age of 10 and already wondering when the baby fat will melt off
glances in the mirror at unwanted curves and softness
why would a 10 year old need to worry about their body?
comments from a father about diets and diseases and suddenly food stops being a necessity but a burden
a brother remarking how a second helping is how you develop diabetes, you don't eat again that night
mom tries to help, "you've got a nice figure" she says
it only makes you hate the softness more
so a girl, at the ripe age of 17, decides that food is no longer a nessesity but a burden
a few months into it a friend makes a joke how you need to start eating more because of how small you're getting
you laugh it off and ignore the pride swelling in your chest
because food was never good or nourishing
but rather numbers on a scale and buttons that didn't quite close
because food was always a burden and never a nesessity

#food #eatingdisorder

Elena Jul 2022

Desperate

I am hungry
Tired
Nicotine addicted
Smell of cigarettes take over my room
I am starving and I should keep on going
Punish myself for all I did
For all you did to me
I cannot sleep
I cannot eat for comfort
I need to smoke most of the time away
My heart is beating too fast
Or no at all

#broken #eatingdisorder #brokenheart #nicotine #cigarettes

Broken Pieces Apr 2022

Numbers

I count each number,
The calories drowning me.
And I just can’t float.

#eatingdisorder #numbers #anxiety #depression #drowing #hurt

Owen Mar 2022

Starving

The hunger,
control,
focus.
The discipline,
illusion
of ground gained.
Pain
turned
numb.
Starving,
violent
retaliation.

Losing Integrity, it all falls apart.

#eatingdisorder #depression #numb

Alexander Lycan Feb 2022

It Was Just A Joke

You're so sensitive
You need to grow up
You know he was joking
So why don't you stop
He has different humour
You just don't get it
My dads in his 70's
You can't say anything
It's not like hes lying
You are overweight
It was just a joke
Don't take it to heart mate
It's weird that it hurts you
And I will never understand
Because you just sit there
With your phone in your hand

I am frequently bullied by my exes father instead of taking it out on others i guess i'm doing poems now

#depression #eatingdisorder

Aspen S Feb 2022

coming undone

i cannot seem to forget
the smallness i had become.
bruised thighs
and sunken eyes
were my reality;
my skin was devoid of
any nutrients,
fragile and delicate.
i could vanish
into nothingness
like quicksand.

my days bled into
one another,
fingers frozen,
heart barely beating,
lungs hardly breathing.
i stared down the
barrel of the gun,
wished to purge my urges,
sat in an endlessly deep
pool of misery until
drowning was all i could do.

i replaced food with air,
consuming empty calories
and dug knives into
my skin as a personal hobby.

i am an open would
that never heals,
and i am desperate
to move on.

a poem on my eating disorder. i thought i had come far only to relapse within a year. here's to starting over.

#eatingdisorder #disorder #illness #calories #mentalhealth

Kole J McNeil Jan 2022

Eating

A tourture that breaks and distorts my mind
Every calorie cafrefully chosen
Written in a journal
Every thing ive eaten since 8th grade
No breakfast
Running out the door a weitght in my stomach
No lunch
Drinking a monster
10 more calories than I need
Vaping in the bathroom
Dinner
Dreaded dinner
I have to sit and eat with my family
No excuses
Work it off after dinner
Do I go there
Do I sit on the floor racking my lungs
I can feel the fat settle on my bones
Crying myself to sleep
Repeat

I struggle majorly with my eating. I feel like a failure if i eat over 300 calories in a day

#eatingdisorder #food #hunger #eating #mentalhealth

Jane Nov 2021

I starved myself, to feed Anna

You think I'm pretty? You don't think I should change?
Not by a single gram I won't, I promise Anna.

It's my friend Anna, she's always here for me.
Anna, I don't want to think, tell me what to do,
Yes, thank you Anna, I'll calculate those for you.

Did you say I look perfect Anna?
I can maintain perfect by being perfect.
I can be precise Anna, I promise, don't leave.

Anna, that's a lot of calculating.
Sorry Anna, you're right, perfection takes hard work.
I'm unafraid of toil.

Anna, I'm worried Anna, I can't stop feeling.
Think? I can over think to stop the feeling.
I'll gladly overthink than to over feel.
You're right Anna, I can numb it.

Anna, I'm craving something.
You're right Anna, I will never have that.

Anna, I never told you what I craved.
I craved love Anna, I craved safety.
I'm hungry for a meaningful life Anna.
Please feed those to me.

Why don't you give me what you promised Anna?
You became a liar Anna, but love is blind and I need you.

Speak for me Anna, lie for me Anna.
Anna others want to feed me, Anna, I don't know what they're feeding me Anna, stop them, it's unsafe where it's uncertain.

Yes, what Anna said, I already ate.
When?
Anna, they're catching on Anna, do something.

Anna, I'm hungry, Anna.
I've been keeping you alive to keep myself dead.

Anna please,
I starved myself, to feed Anna.

#eatingdisorder #eating #disorder #calories #caloriecounting #obsessive #obsession #perfection #perfectionist