I look in my reflection
And in the mist I see
A completely unknown person
To which the world calls “she.”

Her long hair a dark brown,
Eye color? Hard to tell
Her chest fully unbound
Says she’s doing well

I grasp onto my face
Staring into hers
The world has picked up pace
And all my vision blurs

But her face is not mine
To the mist I’m not confined

A person I no longer know stares back at me.
Taunting me, proclaiming my worth.
The tiny, ****** pieces of broken mirror litters the floor around my feet.
A black hole, where my face was once seen.  
My knuckles are heavily wounded, with blood racing down the palm of my hand and welling up on my fingertips.
My glasses have fogged up, thus showing me an even more distorted image of a person I no longer recognize.

The curls are cut and gone
The past falls away
Swept up with a broom

Pent up in my room
Slowly changing
Long hair
And short sleeves
To sweatshirts
Rearranging

A beanie to cover up
The dread I feel
Looking in the mirror
I hope to see change
But I don't know what of

This is my dysphoria

I hate my house
Every corner every corridor
I hate the doorknobs, hate the windows
Despise the bump on the kitchen floor

Every drip of the bathroom tap is agony
The backyard and every tree
I can't stand the way it screeches
Against the lightest breeze

I hate the chairs, I hate the tables
Light bulbs, curtains, endless stains
Sockets stuffed with cables
Set fire to my brain

I hate the way my house stares at me
I wish it would just stop
The wallpaper I have memorised
Is now my life's' backdrop

The doors slam against my hands
The shower burns my feet
My heavy mind with all its' might
Runs up and down my street

My heart is fixed by every string
I'm sewn into the thick carpet
I'm baked onto the plates
I will never ever leave, this house that I hate

my skin is howling  
my tears descend
the pain is somehow still caged

my throat swells
my jaw tightens
the hurt must stay within

its more painful than anything I’ve ever felt
like a pack of wolves tearing my heart out
the pain is eating me

eating more than I ate for the years my dysphoria got me to starve myself

i can’t hide anymore
tear me open if you must
but tear me open in the right places