Closure--"No hard feelings",
What's that, you're speeding!
Last words to end a marriage,
That's what you call a stoppage,
Talk about survivor baggage,
That was our cessation,
Mixed marriage of diverse nations,
Not exactly a happy ending,
Is that closure? "No hard feelings!"

I blame you for my unhappiness
And you blame me for everything else
I´ve been living with a hole in my chest
and a head ringing with all the warning bells

Once you let go everyone thinks you didn´t try
They call me a monster for breaking up a home
But calling that house a home would have been a lie
I tried to wait until the children were grown

I once knew what it felt like to love you
Or we wouldn't be in this situation now
If those moments are possible to get back to
Would you please show me how

The foundation is wrecked and I´m on bare ground
People I trusted turned their backs on me
On different sides, but I miss having you to hold around
It hurts to be with you and it hurts to be free

I have been carrying this around for so long
You act like I'm someone you've never known
So desperately I´ve told myself I was wrong
But we have been so lonely even when we're not alone

I blame you for my unhappiness
And you blame me for letting go
I told the children this was for the best
Even if right now it's too early to know

For Ben

My heart breaks for you
My baby boy
Your world has fallen down
My soul cries out for you my love
I can't kiss away your frown
It's been an uphill struggle
But you are not to blame
I understand your life now
Will never be the same
One day I hope that you will see
That all of this is best
Until you do, it will be hard
It's one of life's cruel tests
You'll always be my baby boy
That will never change
My love for you grows stronger
Though dad & I are estranged
You do not need to choose
One of us to love the most
We will always love you
Remember that foremost
I wish it could be different
That we could have made it work
That your life did not have changes
That you had not been hurt
Please be kind to yourself my love
Do not let this be
The unmaking of your excellence
That I could not bare to see
I will always be here for you
I'll always be your mum
Forever loving you my love
In all the years to come

(C) Pixievic 2016

The mess you made?
I was left to clean.
I scrubbed it spotless,
While you skipped 3,000 miles
Like a rotten fiend.

You’re a shadow of the man I thought you were--
Or who I had hoped you were, at least.

Every good deed you’ve done
Has been thrown back in my face
As proof of your love.
While every mistake I made
You never forgave.

Consider these my parting words
Because, finally, I’m done

I can’t take the constant abuse.
The emptiness I feel has no use.
Forever *******
By life’s vicious wheel
Of misfortune.

I hope you’re happy with your new life
That's not any part of mine.

Since I’ve been such an awful daughter
it’s not a huge loss now, is it?

Didn’t think you’d admit it.

But I’m far better than you, you see--
I gave you countless chances
And let you back in.

I believed that you changed,
But you proved me wrong.

I wish you well,
I really do.

No matter what you may think,
Part of me will always love you.
You’re my father, my blood, after-all.

But you left me,
So why wouldn’t anyone else?
I play that game constantly with myself-
Shut down. Turn off.

When it comes to relationships,
It’s living hell
To get the real me
To come out of this hardened shell
That you helped me build.
Quite a lonely guild.

I’ll fight every urge to mistrust men,
But walking down the wedding isle
My arm will bend
With no hand to hold.
I’ll face the world alone--
Exactly the way you left me,
The way you wanted it.

This is everything you asked for, isn’t it?

So I’ll be the bigger person for one last time:
I wish you well;
Goodbye.

Chic ankle boots
have enough hardness
that each step she takes
clicks it's announcement
at each pew along
the granite aisle leading
to a holy altar with padded rail
where she hopes to attain forgiveness

Two tall graceful daughters
become her bookends while
she stands in prayer
Later seated between them
her right hand, unadorned
brushes a wisp of hair from
her daughter's cheek

Fingers slender, strong
hands of a healer
She carries on
alone and unadorned
awaiting absolution

I look at her
And all I see
Is everything

That isn't me!

I thought it'd help
But I'm in pain
I didn't think
I'd cry again
But it hurts and hurts

The pain inside

I truly think
My heart has died

I know you thought
I didn't care
That it wouldn't cause
Me such despair
But oh how wrong
Can one man be
If only you
Had talked to me

Now romance blossoms
In your life
While I sit alone

Still your wife

One day in time
My turn will come
And I'll cease to feel
Broken and numb
But for now
I own my pain
And let the tears
Fall heavy again

I look at her
And what I see
Is that you'll never

Ever

Return to me

(C) Pixievic 2016