you don't even take your shoes off when you come inside anymore.
you knock hesitantly at the door, and hope that you are greeted by anyone other than her.  
wiping your shoes off thoroughly on the mat before entering, making sure to leave no trace that you were even here.
if you do see her, just a nod of the head and a tolerative smile.
but you don'y ever take off your shoes anymore.
i guess that's because you aren't really considered a guest in the home that you wrecked.
i guess that's because it doesn't make things awkward every time you leave again.
i guess it just makes it easier to walk in and out of the door every time, without having to think too much about what you are leaving behind.
i guess you just want to constantly remind me that you are only here temporarily, never to stay again permanently. That you can just pick up and leave whenever you please.
i guess that's just it.
too busy to be bothered.
too absent to take off your shoes anymore.

Catastrophic end in sight,
light bends, her eyes contrite;
a shaking phantasmagoric dispute
making both husband and lover mute;
revelation upon revelation,
hatred in each exhalation;
exasperated rivals stand apart,
one soul exultant, one twisted heart.

I don’t want to live a life about loss
I know what happened to me
But that is something that’ll never be me

I don’t want to be known by my past
I’m not escaping from shame
It’s just my turn to decide what I believe

Tell me why I should live a certain way
Life will never be like it was before
I am tired of thinking about why
Still I wonder what you think
But it’s time for that no more

I just can’t pretend I’m something else
It was you who made me understand
You took so much there's nothing left for me

It’s a new day
A new day and a new way
What’s happened has come and gone
It’s time to find a new light to follow
Away from the things only darkness would say

I finally washed my heart with new blood
Still I feel the sadness of survival
But what time takes tomorrow must never grieve

Tell me why I should live a certain way
Life will never be like it was before
I am tired of thinking about why
Still I wonder what you think
But it’s time for that no more

Maybe the last waking in a place known.
The strongest feeling of love felt and shown.
Reading stories in the tiny bed.
I'll dry your tears, she said.

So this is heartbreak.
The core, an earthquake.
Remember the reason.
This is but the first season.

With fear in the head, but strength in the heart.
With a tear in the eye, but light in the dark.
The next step soon to arrive.
The journey to be more than just alive.

Swinging wildly
With a deafening stroke
Air spilling from my lungs
Making me choke.

For richer, for poorer
For better, for worse
Am I under a spell
Or am I under a curse?

I spiral from strong
To weak in a breath
Solo to dual
I've done it to death.

I love you, I hate you
I feel so much more
I want you, can't stand you
Am spent on the floor.

When will I settle?
When will I know?
Will it be when my heart
Or my head tells me so?

How can I anchor
These pendulum thoughts?
Until then I will be
Out of all sorts.

Hey mom, hey dad.
Why are we still yelling?
We need to get out of this broken home.
Please don't let me back out into the cold!
Hey mom, hey dad.
Please stop this!
I'm stuck watching these walls fall down.
I'm here alone in this broken home.
When will this end!
I'm done.
Hey mom, hey dad.
When did you lose your happiness?
When did this home become broken!?
Please let it all go!
I want to help, but I'm stuck in between.
Who cares who's fault it is!
I'm still stuck in this broken home.