Doom is a perilous art. I wait expectantly for the fall. It doesn't come, not yet. It's easier to feel in the dark.
I can **** my own demons. Or, at least, starve them in the corner. Experience carved armor into my skin. Theirs is still soft, squishy.
They're so blissfully oblivious. Put this snow globe moment up on the shelf. Pain doesn't have to exist anymore. I'm exhausted.  
The black hole inside my ribs swallows up everything. My chest aches in a way I'm not used to. This isn't my sadness. Is this fear?
I collect stickers and stuffies with fervor. My pockets are lined with candies to stick the pieces back together. I'm sure I'll hear it. It's not often that ten hearts shatter at once.
Gap in the picture. No matter what, they're going to feel the aftershock. Turkey basted in tears surely tastes dry. I hope October never ends.

Sunny days bring smiles on faces
Girls with ***** shorts and sunglasses
Guys with muscle tops or floral hemps and snapback caps
September 19th was sunny
Well, that's until the clouds acuated the skies
and made all the smile evacuate to dystopia
This was an apocalypse
in my parent's house,
a place I used to call home
My father, Christopher
was the devil, Lucifer
and my mother was an angel with wings-
a delightful servant of Venus,
the goddess of love
Only, she couldn't fly
Not mentally, not physically and definitely not verbally
Her vocal chords were shaking as she passed her voice to my dad
She was the rainbow and sunshine
that was no longer divine
it was cryin’
while the devil was roarin’
as if he was a god
in which he was, but only of hell
He omitted fire but this time, it was cold
So cold that a tornado spun around the dining room
as I sat there, frozen, and watched like a snowman
The pupils of my eight year old eyes
witnessed the ending of a love I thought was immortal
A love that I used to think was magical
and illiterate
A love that formed in two hearts that bided into one
on their own
without the education of authorities
This was apartheid!,
and my parents were illegally married
A white European knight in shining armour
to an African goddess with attractive eyes
I started to believe that my mind
used to be a foolish thrall to the world of perfect love
But now I believe that it’s a vendee
who bought the saying, “love is blind”
I was a child who no longer believed
in the love of mankind
I had trouble finding myself
‘cause faith is to believe what you cannot see
and self-love was nowhere in sight
Now love is something I have to draw
and I cannot neutralize it
with optimism ‘cause my world was at an apocalypse
when the sun was supposed to be out...

It’s interesting to me how both of you acknowledge that spot
The location where you supposedly “proposed to [my] dad”

You chose to bring up every detail

While you just note that its location has moved

Every time you come to visit me
Every time we pass by
“That’s the spot where I proposed to your dad!”
“Hey, there’s the blind tiger! It didn’t used to be there.”

And me in the passengers side seat
Relating these comments to the past 14 years of my life

How you tell me about all the times you shared together

And you never say one word about any of it

So maybe that’s why you left
And why you’re holding onto something that isn’t there
Or wasn’t there in the first place

it feels like i have been waiting for a hundred years//we have been together since we were teens//i watched you become a man//you stayed by my side and loved me// it’s been several years now//and i am starting to question marriage// if 50% of marriages end in divorce—- maybe—- i don’t want to risk you// maybe the state itself is a curse// i cant figure out what is different between that and our relationship// other than a title change—- maybe I should keep you the way we are now

All these broken kids, want a parent's pride
But once you hear those words
They still fall short, in the void so wide
Spent your whole life, questioning why.
I can't blame me, you barely know me
And for every night that I felt incomplete
I did my best to try, try so hard to never be you
If only you knew, I hope some day you see.
The only real conversation we ever had,
Was me having hard times, you said you're in therapy,
Even then you didn't care for me.
You felt bad for a moment, but I've spent 15 years in a moment.
For every chance you're given you drop it.
Time for a game, time for a job, time for a second marriage.
Time for your children? Those washed up excuses are getting lame.
Forget it, I'm healed, here's for the rest of us.

For the mother, getting beaten and bruised
Don't stay for the kids
Leave for the kids
A marriage is the least you have to lose.
No matter the hobby, the job, the passion
For the kids, try to match their excitement.
My generation isn't lazy, we're outcasted.
An Internet of people saying your dreams can't happen.
For the kids, build them up, make hope outlast them.
For the mother, verbally bashed to feel useless
It's simple, you aren't useless.
For the father, stay active, protect your family,
You do matter.

I'll cut the poetic verse to tell a short story and I hope it gets passed around. When I was ten, my sister was fourteen. My parents split up and while I was young, I remember a lot. I remember struggling to get by with my mom and sister. My father was quickly in a new relationship. His soon-to-be new wife and he would spread a million stories about how she talked badly of him which even got around to my teachers in school. It's funny, she never said anything bad about him, we didn't want to go with him on the weekends because he was pushing for us to sleep at his new girlfriend's house. It got to a point where when we would call my father, the new woman would pick up the phone and tell us not to call him. So many years later, my sister and I still keep an open door for him. We are facebook friends and whatever (I don't have his phone number, I messaged him a few years ago for it and he ignored it). Occasionally, I get a message asking how I am and I always respond, he reads my response and never writes back again for months or a year. He wishes me a happy birthday and father's day on my Facebook to keep up appearances or something but truthfully I don't know him at all. My sister got a house a couple years ago only a short distance from where he lives and even after many invites, he still hasn't  visited. This is the same guy that to strangers seems like such a fun guy, I've never met. And every part of this involving me really doesn't matter but, I wish he would see where my sister lives and I wish he gave a **** about her becuase she actually cares that he wants nothing to do with her. And to any part of this that is called fabricated, I remember everything and so does she.