maybe it wasn't you,
who broke my heart,
but meme,
for believing you'd love me,
The very way I did you.

It's the smallest moments
That hits me the hardest
The most insignificant ones
Yet somehow significant to me

Small, simple moments
Like getting a pizza
But not sharing a slice
Saving a funny meme
But not able to show it
Or eager to watch a series
But being the only viewer
Doing a basket of laundry
But for the smallest load
Seeing a new restaurant
But ordering just for one
Getting into my car
But only opening my door
Pointing out something cool
But only pointing for myself
Preparing for bedtime
But the bed is all mine

It's those smallest moments
The most insignificant ones
That suddenly hits me the hardest
When it's all without you

row, row —row the rock, roll it up the hill
fall, fall —fall, fall —it tumble down on me
row, row —row it up, responsibility.
oh no, oh no —I failed at it again.
i try, i try —I always try my best
oh no, oh no — it is never enough

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: Themes of ****** Assault ⚠️

They told me I should be grateful,
As if pain is a prize for the taking.
“Was she hot?” they laughed,
Unaware of the soul they were breaking.

A man, they say, can’t be a victim,
Not of this—not of her.
“You got lucky,” they grin,
While my mind’s a blur.

It wasn’t luck when my breath froze still,
When my voice was stolen, against my will.
But the world looks at me, unphased, unkind,
As if my torment lives only in my mind.

They tell me men are made of stone,
That we can’t be broken, can’t be owned.
But when darkness fell, she carved her claim,
And left me drowning in silent shame.

“It’s not the same,” they smugly say,
“Don’t act like a girl; you’ll be okay.”
But it wasn’t a conquest, wasn’t a score—
It was a theft that echoes evermore.

How do I mourn what I’m told is gain?
How do I heal when they mock my pain?
This isn’t a badge, no victory here,
Just the soundless weight of my deepest fear.

Because no one sees the scars we bear,
When society’s laughter fills the air.
But I’ll whisper truth into the night
A man can hurt, that’s my fight.
I’ll shatter the silence, reclaim my right—
A man’s pain burns just as bright.

the water's in my lungs again

and I can't even breathe with full oxygen

the waves aren't at my feet anymore,

they're at my throat, and I'm barely

still standing on my feet

I can feel that one wrong move

will pull me deeper into the cold

stray waves wish to cast me aside

my toes dig in, not ready to leave

just enough water to splash into

my mouth and nose, I can feel

the sloshing in my chest,

heavy, heavier by the second

so hard to breathe.

I dig my toes in a little deeper,

not ready to be flung into currents

that I know will grasp my soul

in an icy grip, pulled from between

my aching teeth, clenched tight

my smile probably doesn't quite

look right anymore, I'm left

with this growing grimace

salt stings my eyes,

wishes to leave me blind

even more hopeless than

I could've been before

my chest is tight, heart held close

what little warmth to keep a pulse

as the waves keep surging higher

and my neck can't save me now,

I have to choose to let go

release my toes or watch my vision

fill with cold blue so I can't see you

because you've been here all this time

but you cannot feel the waves

you cannot hear the crashing

that continues to call my name

your hand was there, I waited so long

and now I can only frantically hold on

as the waves push, and they try

to pull me away to the darker day

please, just let me stay.