My mind is looking
For an answer.

You.

Me?

I'm not sure anymore. Because,
When I look up, there you are.
And I..... lost it.
Those thoughts that make me - an individual.
Those thoughts that me me - unique.

........... End so quickly - with you in my presence.

My own being - lost.
My own mind - lost.

..........You can be too much.
To many thoughts, emotions, ideas for my being to
Handle.

And I am losing what I need.
Who I need to be.

- One Day, I will not need question marks (?)
One Day, I will not need last minute calls...
- One Day, I will not need confusion
One Day, I will not fall so deep into my delusion
And I will not hold onto a faint, loose, illusive - idea

To be in your presence -
I will, one day, not feel the need to be beside you -
Because I hope.

You're are no longer a hope......

And I will stand with my own two feet -
strong!
I will be planted in my own being, not hoping - for an idea.
I will be brave!

And I no longer wait for strength from other's before I ask it from myself.
I will no longer wait for their question marks to become my ideas of romance.
I will no longer wait for an idea
I will become the idea - of who I am meant to become

So I will never lose again.

Her mind had become one large empty room
With only a chair
She needed a place to sit and think

She felt like an empty alley crossed by railroad tracks
Life seemed to have a way of going its own way
While she watched silently waiting for the next train to pass

She heard a noise and it was a spring bird gathering twigs
It was undaunted by weather that won’t make up its mind
It’s a feeling inside that drives it to plan ahead
No matter the cold air
It must be nice to know what tomorrow will bring

It’s that feeling though
It can make you wait for the wrong thing
To believe in what is not right for you
To forget the pain they put you through
You remembered a glimmer of good
And made it the entire story
That’s why the room was empty
That’s why a glimmer is welcome
But there is no other chair
It’s because you put it on the other side of the door
And you did it for a reason
And now you’re thinking of bringing it back
What you don’t know is that it’s not there anymore
Someone else took it

Maybe you’re in the wrong room
The door is unlocked
You can leave if you want
Or you can wait
Because a fantasy is easier than a decision

What is the magic
the aristocracy was entitled
to rule over us?
Binding us to society and
the rules of the unknown
and the unimportant,
the weak and the lost
only allowed to suffer.

What is the magic
where the thieves and fools
fight for bloodless gold?
Lulling my darkest
silence to slumber, lest
the compassion shatter
like glass slippers that
slay soft flesh.

What is the magic
of those forgotten words
of corrupt innocence?
Where birds were birds,
monsters were monsters,
the notion of humanity
slipping away from my
happy beginning.

What is the magic
that forces me to lust over
every failed perfection?
Prayers unspoken and
thoughts from promises
I’ve only begun to

remember.

But we can never go back to those times so
long before.
I can only hope that you’d come quietly in
through that chained door.

Twenty years and the birth of sound
Laid your name to rest
Forgotten and forlorn,
An artifact of years past

Supernova collapsed into itself,
Swallowing time and temperament
Perpetuating the past in an
Isolated pull of gravity

Your fame is facade
Consuming, convincing
An actress in her greatest role yet
Maintaining character until the day
You’re taken away

In our little game,
            It’s never the same.

            Because with every try,
            Came a new lie.
            
            In our imaginary world,
            We gave our word.
        
            The same,
            Goes for the game,
            That played with our minds,
            Twas Forgotten, left Behind.

            Though we survived,
            Our imaginary world,
            Withered and died,
            Without our word.

Never tear a deliberation
for those who discipline themselves on
                                               others misery.

Nothing is worthless in the eyes of a mother.

Envy of others is a delusion of there weakness,
                          just look them in the eye and smile

say in silence,


                     ******* Gesture

And smile while walking off....