One,
two, three,
Steps as I
Pace across the
Hard, tile hall-way
Making sure to keep beat.
My feet thud softly in step
with the music in my earbuds.
My hands whirl with the music quickly.
People are staring, but I don't notice,
Because I am not pacing inside my head.
In my brain, I am somewhere different and safe.
I'm not pacing with the music; I AM the music.
It seeps inside every part of my soul, heart, and being.
I grin with pure excitement as I spin in another world.

I've always searched the stars
Wondered if there could be something there
for me.
Maybe a home? Maybe an origin?
Maybe even love.
They say we are all made of
stardust.
Then why is it so hard to get along?
How can beings with stars inside of them feel
hate?
So every night, I search the stars,
wondering if, somewhere, maybe, just maybe,
someone is out there,
searching the stars
just like me.
Longing for love.
Family.
A home that is not just a place, though that sounds nice too, but a
feeling, a
person.
Who loves me as fiercely as the sun loves the moon,
so much that we will make an
eclipse
together.
Are these things really written
in the stars?

I used to wonder what it was like to be
human.
Used to believe I was a monster simply because of what
I was.
Now I understand.
I choose to be a monster because
they
deserve
it.
I choose to ****, to rip lives apart because of
what they did to mine.
Nothing will ever
be
the
same.
I am not a monster because I am
not
human.
I am not evil because I am
different,
foreign,
unknown.
I am not feared because of my name or my skin, but because of my
rage.
I keep my promises, always.
They deserve what is
coming.
They deserve to see the same destruction they sent
me
and my people.
They deserve to weep, kneeling on the
burnt floor
as they mourn those who were
stolen
from them
cruelly.
And, if I die in the process, then I will
finally reunite
with my family in
Caelum.
My revenge will be as
cruel
as the
names
I was called.

I wonder what it feels like
to be
human.
Something I have never been and will
never
be.
I wonder what it is like to have a
soul.
Certainly everything must be better when you're human,
right?
Humans look out for each other,
right?
I have never felt like a
monster.
But I know I must be, because people always
told me
I was.
Maybe, if I was human, I would finally deserve
to live.
Maybe, if I was human, I would finally belong, and no one would
hate me
anymore.
My family says to keep it all
inside.
They say humans are the true
monsters.
But that can't be true.
Can it?

Existing in a haze
Daydreams crowd her brain
She surrendered and smiled
Said, "I think I'll stay a while"
As she stared into space
And her mind began to race
The belonging that she chased
No longer did it evade

When

Alice, Alice, bleeding soul
Fled into her rabbit hole
Dreaming of a better world
Broken, mad and all alone
Alice, Alice, don't let go
But Wonderland is her true home
She needs it so she can cope
Madder than a hatter, Alice
Broke

So now she sits alone
She's lost track of time
Gazing into the distance
She exists within her mind
Sometimes she comes back
But joy she cannot find
So in her mind she'll drown
Falling deeper down, down, down

Alice, Alice broken soul
Lives inside her rabbit hole
Seeking out a better world
One where she'll never be alone
And they cry, "Alice, don't let go!"
But Wonderland is all she knows!
Reality holds no more hope
Madder than a hatter, Alice...

Alice, Alice hopeless soul
Held captive by her rabbit hole
Her daydreams will not let her go
Lost her mind so long ago
Alice, Alice, now she knows
Her Wonderland was all a hoax
Now she's just a shadow
Madder than a hatter, Alice
Choked

Welcome to Wonderland!
Alice looks around and decides she wants to stay a while.
Inside her brain, she can be
whatever she wants.
Inside her brain, her pain no longer exists,
and she is no longer Alice, but someone
better.
As she stares into space, she journeys deep inside her mind until she finds something new
and entirely perfect.
She found somewhere worth staying.
As she developed this new world
and her lovely characters,
paras,
she stayed for longer and longer
and was never bored again.
On the contrary, she was
happy.
Happier than she had ever been in reality.
So she wondered to herself,
Why
Leave?
But her Wonderland came at a price.
Dissociation was her plague as she fought to stay present
in what was once her reality.
As returning to her body became harder and harder,
Alice gave up trying
to fight the daydreams as they
crowded
her
mind,
leaving room for
nothing
else.
But it didn't matter.
Because in Wonderland,
Alice was content
free
loved.
She belonged.
She accepted her insanity as
beautiful.
And chose Wonderland as her home.
Everyone warned her of its dangers.
Tried to keep her
in their nightmare
reality.
But Alice vowed to
never
turn
back
as she embraced
her Wonderland