T-rust lost.
I-ronically hopeful.
R-espectfully alone.
E-ndlessly worried.
D-irty promises.

(PHASE -1)
"Into the chaos I pummel, as the time gets tough,
The responsibilities I bore now bigger than my ego,
And I getting crushed under both.

Trying to breathe in,
Big gasps coming back empty,
No support or help...
Support being a fantasy as everyone's in the same boat.

"My flaws", mock me as it pushes me deeper,
Cutting me off from everyone I hold dear.
The more I try to fix things, the worse it gets,
Like a devil toying with my helplessness..."

(PHASE-2)
"No salvation, no outlet,
Like bubbles filled with intensely compressed agony...
I try to blow them away before they cloud my judgement,
Alas a bit too late, for the damage has been done,
The words that slipped down my tongue
have already struck like lightening,
Now there's no one remaining..."

(PHASE-3)
"Now that the bubbles have left,
I see them shine in reflection of the devil's eyes,
Oh, have Mercy! I have nothing left,
Just guilt, remorse, increasing ever so severely.
But like a child, the devil pops these bubbles
compressed with agony,
While I watch from a distance,
The chaos whispers: "It's only the beginning"... ~

In these dark times, remember that you will feel sunlight on your skin once more. You will smell the heat and life of summer, you will feel grass underfoot. This will pass, you will love and live on.

It has taken a few weeks
to perfect your recipe
A few more to taste it. The sadness on you
has become your scent,
lingering on your sheets,
just like you. And its the same everyday, routine, until you’ve become a stereotype. You spend the whole day
watching phone calls
rise and fall like empires
or forgotten cities. Like this, you want to be left alone
To wonder why you’re alone. And so you seem to think
about everything, yet nothing at all. And you like how it feels
how the darkness is flirtatious. So you go another night,
just another night. Manuel

will all spill alike
One seeping into the other
A symphony of chaos and darkness_ An order from prophecy; of disorder
and a raised structure of destruction
For the skies will be as earth_ Dusty and dead
The earth, just as dead
That everything in between
Would be buried
That everyone in between
Would be buried alive
in blood, fear and fumes

I’m a bystander
In my own life
I should’ve known better
Then to think that I’ve changed
That I can grown in my skin
And be truly happy
At the end of the day
It all comes back
To one definite conclusion
That I am a passerby,a fading memory
shoved into the back of the minds of others  
Rotting ,smothered and suffocated by the dust of ignorance and the bliss I don’t experience
I watch
All I can do is watch
I was born to be a helping hand and it’s all I can amount to
My poor parents
They didn’t deserve
What did they do to deserve
A child who would not amount to anything more ?
A child who’s importance is limited to
‘et al’ and not the proud glorious name that overshadows it in front, sitting like a trophy on pieces of paper
that
control
And hold power
Over judgement calls and hierarchy
The subtle hierarchy we pretend to shun but really
We adore
And we praise
Because it keeps the inferior in place
So the confident exceed
the socks shoved underneath your bed
The very ones which offered warmth
In the darkest chapters of your book
Sob silently
As they stay still
Alone
Unnoticed
Confused and left feeling used
and *****
As they realise
That you
You’re perfectly fine
Without them
You never needed them
That they were a mere stepping stone into the future you contemplated ending
Of course you didn’t spare a thought
To them
It was wrong of me to think
That I could ever amount to anything
That I could build a name for myself and be happy
Feel what it means to be alive
Smile like a Cheshire Cat
As I lay in euphoria
Happy relationships and having friends who know so much about me
I realise I don’t have to suffer alone
But it’s a facade
Behind the scenes
They all draw lines
You’re just another figure to add the picture
You make their social life look stellar
You’re just someone who helps them grow
But what do you get in return?
You’re recycled, battered and tired
You have twisted and turned
And sobbed uncontrollably to yourself
At night
Contemplating to end it all
But no
You wake up
And manage to smile
And lead them to victory
As you burn into ashes
the ignorant flame thrower who

who forgot who helped ignite the flame
who bathed in glory
ran off
as you
a simple bystander
never got the chance
who could only dream of being happy

withered
and burnt
to crisp

I want to leave
It's better than being here
No one will grieve
Because they were never near
Sometimes I want to let go
You won't miss me either way
Your a beautiful glow
But I'm turning you into gray
That is why I should leave
Because I don't want you to turn into me

My world is a ride, so strap yourself in.
Theres no place to hide, you knew how it'd end.
Say you've been here before, thats no suprise.
The way them eyes look at me, have I met my demise?
Your halo's not what it seems, what is this feeling?
Your halo's not what it seems, why isn't it gleaming?

I see it now, didn't notice it before.
What i've already been through, you have and more.
If I seem a bit weary, don't runaway.
This is just the first time, I've met someone like me.
Your halo's not what it seems, what is this feeling?
Your halo's not what it seems, why isn't it gleaming?

We'll face our demons tonight.
We'll face our demons tonight.
We'll face our demons tonight.(x2)

How did it feel? To live in a place so cold.
To have nowhere to call home.
How did it feel? Are you free?
As for me they haven't broke me yet
As for you don't let them break you.
As for me...

I've been here before. My lifes a cold war.
I've been placed in limbo, so i know whats in store.
My guards always up, so i'll always be prepared.
For I see the future ahead is nothing but despair.
I tried to end it all but they didn't let me do it.
I tried to end it all but I ******* think I blew it.
I tried to end it all, tried to end it all, tried to end it all.

We'll face our demons tonight...

The nightmare will not cease
The nightmare will not relent
The nightmare feasts
On fear and regret

We don't do no sticky we don't drink no colt's  we higher than planes yet we don't do no smoke, these demons are twisted they know that we're gifted my bible its on me and my tongue goes ballistic,   the truth is just stabbing but we  don't stop  clapping   so many scriptures  they think that we're stacking,  born again so I gotta keep it holy,  everyday I'm praising like a ceremony,
In my dark days I'm praising,  cause gods just amazing,  demons just glazing,  while my Angles just waiting, no time to be basic,  sins have no traces,   the lord is the greatest,