Life is like a grab bag full of mystery...
The hand goes in and feels around
The tingling on the fingertips says pick
The mind says, stir it around some
The fingers grasp an item and feel it
What is it?  Is it nice? Is it pretty?
Is it in one piece or is it broken?
Is it what I've been looking for?
Will it disappoint me instead?
My heart beats fast with anticipation
Also with a stream of fear, should I?
Do I take it out to look or drop it back in?
I choose to drop the item back in
Should I stir it up again and choose?
Oh my Lord, what do I do?
What if it will break my heart?
I take out my hand and sit back
I stare at that mystery bag and think
What if I choose not to take anything?
Will I be safe and sound then?
Nothing to cause my fear or dread?
No broken heart
Who wants a mystery in life anyway?
I do...

I let fear fog up my mind
My thoughts yell at me "I'm trying!"
While my actions show me
I want to let the light in

but I fall into darkness
all too often I hide away
and avoid the open blue sky
because the rainclouds distract my mind

the sky-blue sheet above me
only inspires every thought
I try to avoid to blow through
and bring rain from within

I will never have a utility
Never sit pretty on a shelf
Never have a use
For somebody else

I will never be advertised
On a bright flashy sign
Saying hey here, look dear
Don’t she look divine

I will never be sold
I will never be bought
And as long as I live I’ll never be caught

For there’s no hunter for a catch like me
And there are plenty a pretty fish in the sea

How dared I be happy
And not awake to a miserable state of mind,
Just like yours?
Why fight for the best of the best
When you can have all toe, sorrow on the fanciest plate served...
Why wish for better days
When we know that suffering can make us so great...!
And wonderful...
Wonderfully hateful, resentful, pitiful... Rad!
How dared I try reach happiness?
To your face: a great scam!
How dared I reach to that perfect state of mind called happiness?
I must Have been out of me mind?
Being all close to knowing the best days in life?
Oh, the horror!
Why, if I can have all your sorrow... and more added to the core?

yearning
is a silly
foreign thing
when you
haven't wanted
anything
in ages

look at me
so full
of wishes
yet laid bare
of hope

never
did i learn
to want
what i
did not
deserve

never
did i dare
to reach
for the moon
when all
i did
was stare at it
from down here

i cannot
blame myself
for never
learning
or daring
because
why should i
when
i should have known
the moon
was unattainable
in the first place