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Jenifer S May 2020
I was made into a perfect prototype of imperfection
I was made not with the syntax to love or be loved
But you, you took my mechanical heart in the palm of your hands
And through your kindness, you left me drugged


You've shown me emotions that I cannot comprehend
I've melted in your arms like heated ice
You've traced every inch of my skin and healed its wounds
And helped me feel fault-free and precise


You accepted my poorly designed model
Surrounded me with this alien feeling all around
And in this new world, I became lost and overwhelmed
Like a machine in water, I began to drown


My insecurities and doubts severed this tie
The errors in my programming beginning to surge
Rust spreading from the outside to my motherboard
All my fears and flaws beginning to emerge

With a mind built of short circuits and confusion, I bid you farewell in pain
But I hope, when I am fixed and refined, our paths may cross again
Meeting the  right person at the wrong time.
Jenifer S May 2020
The all-encompassing blanket of white engulfs the hearts barely beating
Time and space linger from moving forward, delaying
Silence stretches for miles within the compressed block
Disrupted by the continues steady beats of the clock
Counting down each second before the arrival of death
Some wishing sooner to take their last breath
While others attempt to stall it with will and wealth


All of man's riches, achievements and glory reduced to a fading memory
Only a few-feet bed to call their own, their last treasury
Awaits to be passed down from the dead to the dying
As the armed man walks freely in this room, brushing past those lying
Through the occasional wheezes of the dumb, his voice is heard
Communicating the message of forewarning through  the unsaid word
He has much not to be said as he waits in the midst of the dying herd


There's no beauty in the dying days
Only an ugly mess painted clearly on their face
The stench of corps not yet dead
Waiting and awaiting with dread
Dripping down the corners of their mouth, their untold stories
Reminiscing sorrowfully upon their past glories
And filling their final thoughts with regrets of unsolved quarries

I walk for miles and miles unable to exit this tiny room
Struggling to escape the impending doom
Death's silent whispers still echoing in my ears
The stabs of reality bringing to my eyes, tears
Even though my time here remains with uncertain deals
I feel that death has stolen a part of me that most appeals
Sneaking away seconds of life from time to time as he feels
Jenifer S May 2020
What happened to all the beautiful girls?

Ones with fire in their eyes and gold in their chest

What happened to the precious pearls?

Who flowed like the wind and shone like the stars.



Did the ocean take away their sweet treasures?

And leave behind these empty shells

Whose shallow exterior can never measure

To the gem that lay within.



Did they ascend from the Earth?

And leave behind their shed skin

Whose plasticity cannot worth

The firmness that they held within.



Did the fire burn out their light?

And in their place plant seeds dud

Whose bitter fruits cannot incite

The fiery passion they fuelled.



Did the Earth swallow them whole?

And replace them with thorns

Which cannot fill the empty holes

That they left behind.



Or maybe it was the work of man

Who took those girls for granted

Moulded them to suit their wants

And bred them to the expectations they implanted.
When we we younger, we had no prejudice or judgement against one another but as we grew older, we began to separate and segregate and build a heirarchy based on stereotypes and social expectations, where once best friends were embarrassed to be seen talking to each other. What happened during those years of growth for us to turn out this way?
Jenifer S May 2020
Every piece is placed with precision
The same way it's been placed before
Remember the moves, repeat the rules
Eyes on the target,  ready,  set, go

You stand alone in the company of many
You stand silent while they struggle to spill their story
I seek your attention, request you to join the game
You oblige  and wander into my territory

I make my move and you accept
As always, for  information, I pry
For you are different,  just as expected
A new story,  a new answer that you reply

"Interesting" "intriguing" "fascinating"
you recite the words I have memorised
With every gesture, you  fuel my curiosity
yet I never fail to play the moves I've revised

Check;  break down the barrier to your mind
Check; earn and conquer your trust
Check; uncover the story caged in your head
Checkmate, the next move, a must

And though I've stuck to my rules
You've broken the invisible fence
You surround me just as I have done to you
You widen your grin as I try to make sense

On this field of black and white, little did I know
The pieces had merged into an ugly grey
For you had been playing by the same rules
Imitating the moves that I play

Neck to neck, you and I
As a generous gesture
You allow me to make the final move
Expecting me to conquer

All eyes me, as I reach out
I won't dare let my heart lead the way
It knows only of how to be played
Not how to play

No matter whether I win or lose,
The game, I know won't last forever
You will leave me, no matter of the outcome
So why even bother?

Yet I play not to win
Nor to lose
I play for the thrill
And the unexpected I'll choose

Your king stands alone
surrounded, helpless, vulnerable
You may think me a fool or a genius
But I plan to make this game memorable

I make my final decision
And move my queen towards her fate
Towards your king, but not quite
End of game, a stalemate
Jenifer S May 2020
Life is a lie that seems real
When we hold hands and think we feel.
We forget we are all the same,
With the same brain but different names.

We observe, learn and imitate,
Follow the laws of nature without debate.
Like Gods, we rule over the land,
Blind to the cycle in which we stand.

We live and die and so it goes,
This chain we can never oppose.
'We are the masters of our destiny' we say,
Then why are we destined to end the same way?
Jenifer S May 2020
One, two, three, four, the digits increment daily
Makes me fearfully wonder which number I am of the  many
I know boys like you are proud of their body count
Every casualty places you a rank higher, nearly twenty

It's the triumph of your manhood, the cause of others' envy
You think back fondly on these memories and leave me feeling empty
Every reaped ****** pinned on your chest in the form of a medallion
While every story of your victory encourages me to be petty

A wound in my chest where your bullet had pierced through
And a tally of scars on my skin for the times I've missed you
From when I so foolishly gave you my untainted heart
You were my one and only, and I dared expect to be yours too

The image of countless women wrapped around your body
These haunting thoughts racing through my head endlessly  
You smirk and brag like you're the golden saint of filth
Your pride making me regret and ashamed that you're my one and only

Your wealth in experience highlighting your superiority
I hate how you carelessly point out my inferiority
When you dodge the question "are you pleased?"
As I desperately pray for a change to make me  equally worthy

I almost crave the same attention that you received
To feel accomplished for once and to feel relieved
For you say to I'm good enough rather than turn away
For, to be your best, to be special is all I want to have achieved

— The End —