From children, you can

never tell that they will be –


boring as adults.

i wish i could love someone as much as my cat loves me

and i wish i could feel something when i touch myself

i wish my life existed outside my room

i wish i had things to talk about

I feel like a puppet in suspension
Like I'm not really myself

I'm just watching this world from my lonely little self

I'm forced to see the same **** things go by
Every single morning and every single night

I don't have much to say in the matter of this plight
Even if I did I wouldn't try to fight

Because no what you do
Or what you say

It always repeats
Every single day

Anxious.
Feeling insufficient.
Knowing I'm insufficient.
Wanting insufficiency.
Not quite sufficient.
Comparing and contrasting.
Contrasting.

Wanting acceptance to be my most authentic self.
What is my most authentic self?
Where do I find her?

Focusing on the next milestone.
Getting there and doing the same.
What do we meet at the milestone?
Will be happy will be content will be accepted will be winning,
at the next milestone.

How do you live in the present moment?
What is the present moment?

The days are grey
and the nights are cloudy
I am lost in this monotony

hello world without surprise.
good morning gentle tedium.
****** me, please, monotony.
kiss me, sweet emptiness.
hold me rough, nothingness.
dishonor me, meaninglessness.
ravish me, joylessness.
whew... can a girl get a cigarette?



no, I don't really smoke - yuck - that was a joke  =]

I've passed the disenchanted one, in the empty hallway
I've heard the isolated girl, arguing in the mirror
I've seen the angry hermit girl reflected in the toaster
I've noticed the crazy girl, crying in the shower
I've enjoyed the whispers of the poet talking to herself
Her latest performance had the largest audience yet
the flowers were captivated but the cat left unimpressed