In the bar where sad things grow,
           Where(s) Happiness(?),
is pumped in Like champagne through IV.
I-found-us-strung-together-again-
          “ Now
I’m the type of person
                                 to-
                         fall-
**** near in love with gratitude. ”
“ Like that glancing smile,
Hidden behind a mask of bourbon and-
all ten hail marys you replaced
                 with ****** ones. ”
“ And if gratitude gets you this far?
Just imagine what the *** is like. ”

This is the perfect time to write
I’m right at the end of 25 years on this planet
Sitting in a bar at 3:14 pm on a cold Thursday in January, 2021
I’ve had a bad day
So I decided driving by this bar that I was gonna stop and have a drink because that’s what I needed today
So far I was right
I ordered a angry orchard on an empty stomach and drank the first half really quickly so I’d get that good buzz really quickly
the nice bartender, an older lady asked me if wanted food so I asked for a menu because, why not?
I’m broker than ever and can’t really afford to be doing what I’m doing right now but what’s an extra 6.99 on pretzel sticks with beer cheese?
It’s beer cheese for heavens sake.
when the going gets tough, the tough get going
to get a good drink on tap
I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time
I get lucky I guess
My whole life has been built on me
Completely on me to decide where I’m gonna go and how my life is going to look
That’s kind of scary honestly
that my life and my sons life relies completely on my shoulders
I can’t ***** up
I can’t give up
So we will just keep going

I was thinking if ever I went to Bethlehem for Christmas
Then Bethlehem would have had two Stars
I'd be there shining mightily like I do
And all the people, they'd suddenly say from afar
Look! Look yonder...yonder lies a Star
There's another Star, another Star in Bethlehem
Look! He's in there drinking, drinking at the bar
He's just having... just having himself a jar
The Other Star...the Other Star of Bethlehem.

And then they'd all gather around me excited saying
You're the Other Star, the Other Star of Bethlehem
And I'd say "I'm the what, the Other, the Other Star of Bethlehem
Well that ain't exactly very flattering
Maybe I don't want to be 'the Other Star'".
So I'd think for a second
"Why not call me instead, call me... the Czar, the Czar of Bethlehem
Then the Star could be the Star again
And me! I could be the Czar
The Czar of Bethlehem".

Wow!! they all said in unison,
You're the Czar, you're not the Star
You're the Czar
The Czar of Bethlehem.

Reading at the bar
Drinking at the library
         —Henry Chinaski

A billiard table imprints its damp shadow
on a yellow wooden floor. The game still
unbegun, mere fragment of the sorrow
felt by the patrons whose wilted heads will
still be here tomorrow, if tomorrow comes.
Red walls distended by burning lamps
and burned out hearts beating blood through ear drums:
Reverie to the night god /   Dreaming tramps
drowning in their heads in lakes of absinthe
color of the ceiling better than being
awake but indefinitely absent.
The lamps blink, eyes floating, speak all-seeing:
Vincent, let us meet before you entreat
the crows out of your head into the wheat.

A little grey.

Why.
Don't shut it out.
If feels of eternity.
Again n again.
The grooves.
From the hips.
Left still.
In vigorous thought.
Around the eyes.
Around it all.


Garrett Johnson.

5 dollars for the beer
And 5 for your sadness
Could have been something
But the light went out
Dust collecting to the right
It could have been dynamite
Champion of the come and unwind
Instead in creeps what the devil may find
Dreams don’t live here
Only remnants of better days
And the crackle of desperation
So 5 dollars for the beer
And 5 for your sadness
The least I can do.
Before moving on to the next spot.