Think think!
Think of a time
when you had a friend
one negative thought
will make your friendship end
if you think your mind is negative
then think again,
all this bitterness inside
must come to an end.

Echo echo!
Echoing voices inside your head
the words clogging up your ears
after all the books you read
you believe there are more words
that hasn't been said
if so, don't overthink it
don't drown yourself with dread.

Dream Dream!
Dream about achievement
never over relax
don't chase your dreams by sleeping.

Hope Hope!
Hope won't bring you low
you say it's pointless
believe me I know,
always stay positive for
god will shine a light on you
and make your confidence glow.

Imagine imagine!
Imagine a day without stress
if everyday was a vacation,
you couldn't careless
picture your mindset again
it's not a torn up mess,
fiill your thoughts
with happiness and nevertheless.

Love love!
Love from the work of God,
he taught you much
loving him wasn't so hard
but loving other people is
that why he made you smart
by managing your feelings
he has given you a clean heart.

Believe Believe!
Believe in God and yourself
God loves you as aspie
he gave you multiples of talents
of what he trained you to be.

Thirty years and counting
Every day, as life goes on
A fiery battle rages
In my mind, heart and soul
Conflicting thoughts and emotions
Wage an unholy war
Armed with a billion weapons
Far more destructive than nuclear bombs
The resulting carnage threatens
A result far worse than a Dementor's Kiss
You know, I never asked for this
I never asked to be born autistic
Of course, it is good to be different
But, does everybody appreciate this difference?
In India, the society judges you
Based on what you speak
However, my mouth is blessed
With an ability to turn
Anything that it touches, into stone
Resulting in decades of social anxiety
If only wishes were horses
I would be in Britain
Where actions speak louder than words
After all, not for nothing
Was King George VI one of the finest rulers
In spite of being born
With the handicap of a speech defect?

Thirty years and counting
Everybody seems to like me
Everybody seems to think I'm nice
Up to a point, that is
The moment I dare
To step out of my threshold
The moment I dare
To break codes of conformity
The moment I dare
To question any form of injustice
Is the moment of truth
It is the moment
When everybody shows their true colours
It is the moment
I stop being nice
Instead; I am angry, disturbed, jealous
Naive, immature, unreliable
Confused, weird, crazy
And the list goes on and on
With no end in sight

Thirty years and counting
I have seen enough
I have heard enough
I have felt enough
The time has finally come
For an internal independence struggle
Gone are the days
When I was busy being a 'Yes Man'
Now, if you have a problem with me
I can only tell you this
Tomorrow, you may find
A pill of cyanide
In your cup of coffee
Or a cobra in your shoulder bag
Or a bullet in your temple
Or a bomb in your briefcase
The choice is entirely yours, my dears

Every day, I get out of bed
And wait for work so I can stay out of my head.
For 8 to 9 hours a day, I talk to people I barely know.
but it's a big relief because I'm not the star of the show.
When you live life on the autism spectrum, the mind can be a scary place.
You question every decision you make, and just talking to people can make your heart race.
It can make you feel alone. Frustrated. Sad.
But it's not all bad.
People on the spectrum see the world in a way most could never understand.
It's beautiful. And we want you to experience it. That's why we reach out for your hand.
We want to connect.
But it takes a while to learn how.
If you can be patient, when we're ready, we'll show you the world in a different way. I promise it will make you say "wow."

To my younger self

Take the time out to
Enjoy those precious
Times, people, places.
Make another memory.
You’ll thank yourself in the future.

Take the time out to
Heal those wounds.
Keep moving forwards
Physically and mentally.
You’ll thank yourself in the future.

Take the time out to
Create those stories;
Ones that your future
Generation will re-tell
You’ll be remembered in their future.

I feel as though I comprehend language more than the act of communication itself
I can recite definition and etymology
Spell it out loud for you
But understanding of language is no substitute for understanding of the other, to truly convey meaning

And oh, I crave to communicate but all I do is speak
in my fight or flight of thought, deconstructing and analysing
Oh do I crave to be understood

clanging against disequilibrium,
Oh do I throw myself at the door and ****** my fists beating at it
Oh do I scream and rip the handle clean off
Oh do I cry and wish good wombs had borne better sons
Oh I set the whole world on fire for its sins and seek forgiveness of mine

But I am unable to reach through the barrier
I cannot touch or be touched with words the way human beings do
I have miscomprehended everything all along
And as much as I crave a saviour I have made peace
That nobody will ever know me
and that my words are all I have

echolaliac epileptic, easily defined by clinical terminology
my body is cumbersome though my skin is thin
the isolation disorder is double consciousness, watching through my own eyes,
it is out of body and it is lonely
(as am I)