Because of my upbringing and education, I'm a man who has substance and class.
But nobody will believe that if they learn that I have a hairy ***.
I have hair sticking out of my **** crack and hair on my **** cheeks.
I'm afraid that this information will be discovered and posted on Wikileaks.
People must never discover my secret, nobody can know.
And if they discover my terrible secret, they will have to go.
Yes you heard me right, when it comes to preserving my secret, I'm prepared to ****.
When it comes to my secret being discovered, I must make certain that it never will.
My sheepdog has less hair on his entire body than I have on and sticking out of my ****.
Don't you dare reveal mt secret to people or I'll come to your house and you will get cut.
I have an awesome job that pays over a million dollars each year.
But if people learn about my hairy ***, I can say goodbye to my career.
My wife has agreed to keep my secret but she complains and we bicker.
I shaved my *** a couple of times but when it grew back, it was even thicker.
My *** is hairy and my wife looks and smells like Jabba the Hutt.
Nobody can ever know that I have an extremely hairy ****.

green eyes like pickles
brunette hair like the bun toasted to the crisp
smile and a warm feeling like nuggets out of the fryer
compliments just as the best customer service
we ordered 5000 cheeseburgers
but when i joked about being 35 you left just like the customer who left their stale burger on the table

Laying down
Spending my time
Reading books
Browsing the internet
Watching the sun
Finally set
As my family
Sits outside
In a proper family circle
While I wait
For the night

The chicken baulked, "Phaulk!"
Before Latin chose to roll around,
And the "Librarian's sound, it"
Has been through pursed lips
Oedipus was clapping cheeks,
Long before Middle English clapped any,
When lions and tigers and bares
Were the prime predators
Even in The Garden,
Snake said as,
As snakes say as,
Where the language of choice I know,
Not to be English.
And if your dainty, sky-locked eyes soul and mind,
Remain unfazed by kid killers, or rampant rapers,
But try to censor my ******* ****?

Let me smash
Let me smash
Let me have a slice of that ***.

All I ever wanted was that hour glass.
To be pretty and normal like them.
To be the cheerleader
To not be the freak.

All I ever wanted was that hour glass.
A figure like my mom and sisters
To be long tall and desirable.
To not be like me.

all I ever wanted was that hour glass
But nature wasn’t kind to me.
A cups, a skinny waste and a round fat behind.
Are what I got instead.

All I wanted was an hour glass.
Not just 90 pound of low self esteem
And a round fat ***.