Theres no use in pretending that I don’t think of you often.
But there isn’t any use in telling you if you don’t feel anymore.
I have no words to say other than
“Please, don’t do this.”
But i will swallow them and say
“Hello, whats your name?”
Your absence is everywhere,
in strangers that have done me no harm.
God gave you a common name,
so that I could choke every time
I meet with it again.
I need to know that I will find better,
but tonight I’ll find home in the middle of a hurricane.
A hurricane
with
a
common
name.

I'm not okay
but I'm not broken either
I'm caught somewhere in between
Caught in the middle of the fall
just waiting for my ribs to shatter
all at once
and only
once at all.

When the first words out of his mouth was
"Sup *****"
I knew a certain few things

1. He was not getting laid tonight.

2. None of us in this room know why he's the party leader,
All glancing at each other in awe
nodding like a hive mind chanting
yes, this man is in fact an *******,
no, i don't know how he rose to power
yes, he did just call us *****.

3. I could think of a million one liners that would earn me way more respect up front than that.

I don't know what I was expecting
walking into this basement

Maybe some small fame
The same small fame I get from getting on a stage for slam poetry
or being cast in a reality T.v. show
Or singing kareoke at my local bar.

Maybe for the free pizza
We've all been there.

And yes, maybe it was for the revenge.
the campaign slogan you stamped
recruitment posters with.
Join the evil league of evil!
Launch revenge against the modern heroes of today!

But when I sit down in this small fold up metal lawn chair,
in what is presumably his moms basement
Behind a projecter  (also probablly his moms)
Next to captain nose bleed
And princess *******.

I already don't have a whole lot of faith in his agenda

So when his opening line
Was "Sup *****"
Like that is some sort of impressive villanous monolouge peared down into one and a half words.
I lost any ounce of faith I had in this cult.
And decided to Usurp this "Party Leader".

Now you might be asking:
Why?
Why would you want to be the head of the evil league of evil?
Founded in this pre pubescent boys moms basement
Whos only followers so far seem to be captain nosebleed,
and princess *******.

Well
clearly
You don't understand.
Captain nosebleed is already under the thumb of princess *******.
I mean lets be real without princess *******
We're three dudes in a basement
Pretending to be super villans.

And you've been known to be pretty charming.

But in your friends evil lair.
Sorry
Moms basement.

You start to evaluate your situation
Gotta make a descision.

Are you fighting for Revenge,
or the small fame?

1.
Sometimes I forget just how much I love your face.
It is so open, but I still can’t tell what you’re thinking. 
Sometimes I forget just how much I love your voice.
It’s so clear, and I wish that I could hear it all day long. 
Sometimes I forget just how much I love your hands.
They’re soft, but not too soft, and I wish I could hold them.

2.
Sometimes he looks at me like I’m the world and I freeze and I don’t know what to do
Because there’s someone else he looks at like that and she’s more than I am 
But he is more to me that he his to her
He is a world to me and only an island to her
But regardless
Sometimes he looks at me like I’m the world and I melt inside

"I want everything to be like it popped right out of a story book. I don't care if it's fake or made of paper. I want it to be bright. I want it to be colorful. I want it to be happy." (4.27.15)-- fairy tales dont exist

Fickle are the weary hearts
Of these eight children, once pure and true
One was sweet and kind, a lover through and through
The second was hard and cruel, and thought everyone a fool
The third shed many tears, of things that mattered not
The forth played many pranks, harmless so they thought
The fifth child, they were wise, and clever in the day
The sixth child was loud, and felt they never got their way
The seventh child of the bunch, they were not made of much,
but hollow bones and silence, invisible they strut
The eighth child was made of chaos, but kept the peace instead
And all these children live with me, trapped inside my head.

if i were to turn and say
hey dude i ******* hate you, kay?
(well no, of course it isn't true-)
but what d'you reckon you would do?
i'm only wondering because
you act like it'd be no loss
and insecurely, i don't know-
because you sometimes seem as though
either you think i'll never leave
or just don't care what i believe?
i'd like to say i have a line
but no, i'll just sit here and whine
while you sit there, knowing quite well
that i would never ever tell
you that i'm giving up, you see
i think that this means more to me
than you, perhaps, and **** that stings
especially recently, when things
have led your life away from mine
i know it's not your fault; it's fine-
except it's not, because i never
thought that i would have to weather
all my ugly parts alone,
you used to be just down the phone.
i never used to hide from you
and now it seems you want me to-
but i've spent years with my gun down
it's hard to pick it off the ground.

*-maybe i'll close my eyes instead
and un-remember what you said.

Angsty: Shredded jeans and eyes with wings; red rimmed eyes looking down on blood covered thighs. She's ran away too many times to count. She's lost inside a house of barely scrapping by and a mother that spends her nights flying high. It takes her hours to scrub away the make up on her face; it will take forever to scrub away the past that haunts her.