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LylexRose Jan 2019
Been thinking...
It's about time I made some changes...

Came so far now and I feel free
So free, 9 to 5 stress, call in green delivery
But eventually problems set in, it's only Monday
Loved as one, feel so gone and my future looks ugly
Jurry and executioner, can you please judge me
Money and pain go down the drain, and it's getting harder for me
Creating issues from problem solutions, still act toughie
Don't try to rush me
Midnight-mares ride through the night, it's scary
And "all this time I couldn't see
How could this be
That the curtain is closing on me"
Emin- NFing music discovery
Drop these drugs down the drain, head to rehab recovery
Problem facing, defacing, move to different countries
Running a race but never winning cos running from you is destroying me
Blowing smoke 24/7, this can't good for me
Keep on rolling sticky green, I'm in 3 deep
My complicated encampment, you see
You know I'm doing my best but does he?
Yeah...
It's hard for me to ask this
When I don't even have a mattress
Used excuses to delete this stress
I may changed ******* nothing, at least I can confess
It's been 15 years and I'm still a ******* mess

I apologise for all the lies
Decite it spreads like fire
My future could've burned so bright
Now I'm stationary, grips me like a vice
But lost my touch and I'm colder than ice
I stopped giving a **** just me, myself and I
But maybe that's just life
Do I dare ask why?

I was the butterfly, who had spread his wings to fly
Barely left the leaf only to be shot down, fall and die
Countless nights that I counted, where these issues filled my eyes
I can't help it, it's how I was raised by life
Now I'm going to go far to both yours and mine surprises
Chasing dreams all despite this,
Dripping in Bape and gold chains
Changing myself just to stay the ******* same
You know I never thought life was great
But **** if she's complainin'...
But **** if I'm staying...
But **** it I think I'm going insane
But **** if this is direction I decide to go...
And I know
Just how to create a flow
So why should I loose it if I know
Is it a gift or is it curse only time will show
Death: it'll set you free and let you go
Eventually it'll catchup to us both
So I'm leaving off this verse
In the back of a Herse
But in the end it was myself I hurt...
Fresh start?
Eye of Horus...
Thought not...
of course...
"Is he getting old"...
"Does he bore us?"...
Enough rhymes for a lifetime
Check my inventory
You know how I'm going out
Blaze of glory...
Well I'm back...
End of story...

I apologise for all the lies
Decite it spreads like fire
My future could've burned so bright
Pen to the pad, I'm stationary, grips me like a vice
But lost my touch and I'm colder than ice
I stopped giving a **** just me, myself and I
But maybe that's just life
Do I dare ask why?
I don't know... but I'll try
Cool breeze of death on the back of my throat
Is there light at end of the tunnel
Or just no hope
Walking on the tightrope
Sliding down a slight *****
Is it only me who just can't cope
When all I want is to look down my kaleidoscope
Puff the magic dragon with the gunsmoke
Am I being real or is this just a joke
Svode Oct 2017
I know a bit about math.
You add one to another and get two
divide two and get two separate ones.
Do you think that 1 wanted to be divided?
What if it was happy under the aid of the other one?
What if they were meant for each other?

You multiply x by y.
X and y don't go together,
it's by nature.
But it's by choice that they still collide together,
and x and y suddenly seem indifferent.

You divide x by y.
After bonding for so long,
after understanding each of their incompatibility issues
and trying to mend them to better fit,
they're finally divided.
One is now without the other,
the other is without that one,
and they are both separate variables in a cold world.
It's by nature that they remain separate,
but it's by choice that they still remember.
Kewayne Wadley Jan 2017
Now that I am high, I don't ever plan on coming down.
From what I am told highs don't last forever.
If this feeling ever fades I don't know what I'll do.
I couldn't begin to imagine another night of sobriety.
A night spent away from what I've come to know as normal.
Something done randomly, something that's become habit.
Given time.
I don't think I could go back to the way I once was.
Something held close. Revealing the fact that nothing is as perfect as we could imagine it.
The moments I feel myself floating with closed eyes.
Picturing myself falling in love.
Now that I am high I feel that I am free-falling.
Finally jumping from the ledge I've known for so long.
A sudden pause from anything momentary.
The everlasting effect of something I've never felt. Being high.
Most highs don't last forever from what I've been told.
Always chasing something to compensate what was once felt.
My first reaction was to jump from the ledge of the couch and hit the floor face first.
Which was what I did. Not entirely my plan but it worked.
Choosing to stay here and seek nothing outside of what I already felt.
Leaving my sobriety anywhere but here.
A kind of reserve stashed away for safe keeping.
Not in the sense of smoking or anything that could be ingested
I suppose I took a piece of your heart and hid it where only I could find it.
But only when I jump from the ledge of the couch and end up face first on the floor.
Somewhere I know you can't find it.
I guess this high could be considered love.
A funny thing, love.
Four simple letters that could create so much devastation,
or bliss.
Love a whirlwind of emotion that takes everything then tosses it up without care how it lands.
A crazy thing, being sober in the midst of love.
Four simple letters packaged and distributed as something sweet, delicious.
Most commonly referred to as munchies.
Devouring everything in sight.
A buffet of need wrapped airtight in urgency.
Next time I sit on the floor I think I'll invite you.
But only for another piece of your heart.
Verballing from the ledge of the couch.
Only to land face first on the floor once again.
Love such a crazy thing
b e mccomb Jan 2017
as kids we used to go out in
the cold holding pretzels
between our fingers and pretend
our frozen breath was smoke

(funny how
kids grow up)


we rang in this new year
with a half gallon of last
year's apple cider just turnt
enough to bite and fizz

half glasses of
questionable mango juice
mixed with a stranger's
thick cream ***

and a full season of
mash but after
this year i know
suicide is not painless

(it burns and stings
chokes and screams
leaves friends
crying at five a.m.)


stood on some kitchen steps
cat-scratched hands red
from hot dishwater and icy air
stomping cold feet

(the plan is to get me addicted
for just a couple years while you
*** them off me until i prove
i'm strong enough to quit)


and you held out the zippo
lighter you got for christmas
i handed you a cigarette
and you held it between your
fingers and tapped away the
ashes like richard dawson would

(there's something poetic about
historical self destruction)


it burned my lungs
enough that i coughed
but then again it
felt right

natural
like we had been
practicing for this
new year all our lives.
Copyright 1/9/16 by B. E. McComb
happy new year
Sarah Spang Aug 2016
Hopeless poisoned
Precious one
The drowning's only half the fun.

Submerge, submerse
Sink deeply now
I'll close my eyes
And follow down.
In mud and muck
We'll sink and choke
We'll dine on fear
And purge on hope
And when our lungs
Draw deep for breath
We'll exhale smoke
We'll feast on death.
Jennifer Apr 2016
Derive the joy, magic and warmth of addition by connecting your soul to another's, yet remain independent as singular souls.

Meet the interference of envious, bitter and resentful subtraction which gives the process of separation from the souls you have connected to.

Both opposing forces with obstinate motivations coordinate unconsciously for the creation of an entrance-exit cycle in human interaction.

The pinnacle of human interaction is interceded by multiplication who compounds the congregation of the independent souls into a cohesive unit called groups and eventually society and nation.

Nevertheless met by the malevolent, destructive energy of division which ruthlessly breaks apart the products nurtured by multiplication, smashing them with propaganda, discrimination, and segregation.

O' how I exclaim that division is the truly nefarious power.
Sentiments about the present degeneration of society.
Pauline Morris Jan 2016
I promise to mislead, deceive, and begial
You can continue to live your life in denial
Pretending everything's great
As your lies you spin and create

I'm the one that comforts you in the dead of night
Not your so called friends that are so up tight

I calm your nerves
I'm what you deserve
I chase the memories away
I make everything seem ok

But somedays I make them stay
I make everything in disarray
You know on those days you just need more of me
On your back I'll always be
With the darkness always closing in, always there
I'll by the only one who truly cares
You are my favorite ******
                        
                      Sincerely
             Your Loving Money
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