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Tabi G Jul 2015
dear god

when i was four you didnt protect me
from the monster under my bed
in my bed i mean
because i remember my uncle touching me everywhere like i remember the freckles on my left hand and the scar on my finger

when i was ten you didnt remind me
that i was loved and needed and necessary
to the world around me

when i was twelve i started cutting
because i wanted to be like the girls in the stories i read
at night only because my parents would get mad
if they saw me tracing lines on my writs at the asscrack of dawn

when i was fifteen i was ******* my best friend
behind my boyfriends back
because i was so angry with my self
and i needed a reason

now at sixteen i think
you exist
solely for the purpose
of laughing
at me
Tabi G Jul 2015
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i didnt mean to make you sad
oh god, im a bad friend

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i didnt mean to talk too loud
i didnt mean to startle you
i didnt mean to take up too much space
i didnt mean
i didnt mean
i didnt mean
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
Tabi G Jul 2015
I think you send me little hearts on Skype because it makes me smile
And I think you think making me smile
Will keep a razor off my thighs and pills out of my throat
But I don't think you realize
I might do it anyway

Not to sound ungrateful
Because I appreciate the sentiment
But I feel like I'm dying anyway

And smiling wont stop that
And smiling wont bring my apathy back
“Why would you want apathy?” you ask
I live in a home where every eye contact
Makes it look like you're talking back
And when you talk back
You get your possessions taken from you
One by one

And that wouldn't be a problem
If I didn't miss the little hearts on Skype.
Tabi G Apr 2015
She'd gathered dust
From the days she'd spent alone
But now I feel obligated
To hold her in my arms
And play her again
But I can't get the dust
Out from under the strings
i missed my guitars
  Feb 2015 Tabi G
BertJane Perez
Goodbyes never hurt me
It's always the memories that follow
To live in such a cruel reality
A world so insensitive and shallow

A goodbye is just a moment
But the memories are stuck on replay
To think we deserve such torment
We remember each and every day

A goodbye will not hurt you
But the memories will shatter your being
Break your heart into pieces
Your life may even lose meaning

Goodbyes do not hurt you
They are only the beginning
A life that was once so simple
Turned into a life so unforgiving
Tabi G Feb 2015
The tide is romanticized
And we're told that it's beautiful
But it seems like all the tide does
Is carry things away
And I'm scared it'll carry you away too
It's been a rough few weeks.
Tabi G Feb 2015
I don't care if I'm breathing in monsters when I smoke
Maybe they'll help me figure out the mess that is my mind
Because I sure as hell know the cigarettes do
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