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Jul 2015 · 471
dear god
Tabi G Jul 2015
dear god

when i was four you didnt protect me
from the monster under my bed
in my bed i mean
because i remember my uncle touching me everywhere like i remember the freckles on my left hand and the scar on my finger

when i was ten you didnt remind me
that i was loved and needed and necessary
to the world around me

when i was twelve i started cutting
because i wanted to be like the girls in the stories i read
at night only because my parents would get mad
if they saw me tracing lines on my writs at the asscrack of dawn

when i was fifteen i was ******* my best friend
behind my boyfriends back
because i was so angry with my self
and i needed a reason

now at sixteen i think
you exist
solely for the purpose
of laughing
at me
Jul 2015 · 1.5k
Tabi G Jul 2015
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i didnt mean to make you sad
oh god, im a bad friend

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
i didnt mean to talk too loud
i didnt mean to startle you
i didnt mean to take up too much space
i didnt mean
i didnt mean
i didnt mean
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
Tabi G Jul 2015
I think you send me little hearts on Skype because it makes me smile
And I think you think making me smile
Will keep a razor off my thighs and pills out of my throat
But I don't think you realize
I might do it anyway

Not to sound ungrateful
Because I appreciate the sentiment
But I feel like I'm dying anyway

And smiling wont stop that
And smiling wont bring my apathy back
“Why would you want apathy?” you ask
I live in a home where every eye contact
Makes it look like you're talking back
And when you talk back
You get your possessions taken from you
One by one

And that wouldn't be a problem
If I didn't miss the little hearts on Skype.
Apr 2015 · 2.5k
Tabi G Apr 2015
She'd gathered dust
From the days she'd spent alone
But now I feel obligated
To hold her in my arms
And play her again
But I can't get the dust
Out from under the strings
i missed my guitars
Feb 2015 · 362
The Tide
Tabi G Feb 2015
The tide is romanticized
And we're told that it's beautiful
But it seems like all the tide does
Is carry things away
And I'm scared it'll carry you away too
It's been a rough few weeks.
Feb 2015 · 394
Tabi G Feb 2015
I don't care if I'm breathing in monsters when I smoke
Maybe they'll help me figure out the mess that is my mind
Because I sure as hell know the cigarettes do
Dec 2014 · 354
To Love A Writer
Tabi G Dec 2014
To love a writer
Is to be in a constant war
With their battling emotions
And their need to exist
Because writers
More often than not
Are the saddest beings on the planet

To love a writer
Is to be awake at three in the morning
Reading their newest work
Because they want you at your most honest
When you tell them that
It's either absolute **** and not worth being awake for
Or it's so beautiful that you'd never sleep again to read it

To love a writer
Is to be constantly analyzed
Under a watchful eye
Because they want to learn to write you down
They want to describe you
When she sleeps, her hair looks like the night sky
Beautiful and dark
*I only hope I can be the moon that lights her smile
Dec 2014 · 16.3k
Tabi G Dec 2014
The stress is killing me
I can't breathe
I need to be beside you with your arms around me and my name on your lips
You soothe me
You make it better
You make me shake in better ways
Dec 2014 · 220
Tabi G Dec 2014
i'm perfectly okay with you thinking i still want you
even if you're wrong

i'm okay with you showing off your new boyfriend
even if i ****** you better

i'm okay now
even if you were my first love
Dec 2014 · 8.7k
Tabi G Dec 2014
i want to drink your name out of my brain
and the remembrance of your touch off my skin
i want to burn the feeling of your kisses out of my mouth
and i want to fall asleep having forgotten what you semell like
Dec 2014 · 1.0k
Tabi G Dec 2014
Sometimes I remember the days when I was four and I had to spend the day at his house
I remember how I wanted to leave as soon as possible
But he had told me that what we did was a secret that I couldn't tell my parents
So I endured

Sometimes I remember the days when I was five and I thought it was normal
I remember how I didn't think there was anything wrong
I thought that everyone did this
So I endured

Sometimes I remember when I was six and he started being much, much meaner about it
I remember the bruises I would have
I thought that it was my fault
So I endured

Sometimes I remember when I was seven and he began to fear my beginning of truth-telling
I remember the touching slowing to a halt
I thought I had done something wrong, but I was so, so glad that I did
So I endured

Now sometimes I remember when he's not the one touching me, but you are
And I tell you to stop in the very middle
But you understand how it feels because I've told you during my 3 AM bouts of depression and nightmares
So you endure
Nov 2014 · 563
Tabi G Nov 2014
Teenage boys are dropping dead on the floor
Officers are standing over their bodies
and pacing
Tear gas is flung into crowds
Officers are in riot gear
and throwing
A ****** walks free
Officers pat him on the back
and welcome  him back to the force

— The End —