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  Nov 2015 loveinquandary
Jenna
A little boy once asked me
why I want to go away tomorrow
because he doesn’t understand
that’s what gets me through today.
"Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia."
I use to write alot when I was depressed, I guess the idea of putting my thoughts on paper made my sadness feel so much more real. At the time I liked it, I liked the feeling of being fragile. It made me feel vulnerable. But I started distancing myself from it. I didn't want to live in darkness any more. My happiness grew and I nurtured it as one would do taking care of a rose grown from a seed planted in your most needed time. My perspective of life changed, it was like I was reborn into the spiritual realm and my life was but a seedling sprouting from ashes. I looked to the sun for unconditional love and I found it in the flames of a thousand skies.I reached out towards it in the hopes of finding the answers that I needed,I loved ever moment of it even though I was burning on the way. In a sense you could say I burnt myself down but only so that I could rise again. I had the opportunity to mold myself and I choose to become the closest living embodiment of mother nature herself,  I haven't fully achieved that yet but I was created in the belly of a star and my veins run with blood infused with star dust. I am a magical being or atleast I'd like to think that I am, I don't want to be anything less, than a women whom someone could never forget.
  Oct 2015 loveinquandary
G
You're looking for love
but I'm right here?

I promised you I'd share my world
so why aren't you here?

I want to feel your hands
wrapped around my face
curling around the edge
of the stubble you hate.

But instead you're gone.
And your hands long to be
on another face.
Looking for the love
I was so eager to give.
I am so permanently yours.
  Oct 2015 loveinquandary
mk
sometimes i wish
you'd see beyond
the color of my eyes
and the cloth wrapped around my head

i wish you would
think of me as an individual
put away my appearance
and regard me as a person

my thoughts matter
my ideas aren't all bad
i have opinions
and i choose to speak my mind
if only you would
listen to my words
and try to comprehend what i'm saying
rather than focusing on my accent
and the way my lips curve when i speak

the cloth on my head
does not rid me of ideas
it does not limit my mental capabilities
it does not lower my tolerance
have a debate with me
spark a conversation

instead of complimenting my smile
compliment my mind
instead of assuming that my beliefs are enforced upon me
ask me what i believe
ask me what i value


tell me what you base your morals on
question me
give me counterarguments
talk to me

instead of staring at me
and making biased assumptions
already concluding who i am
and where i come from
before you've even
said hello!

i am not just the color of my skin
i am not just the size of my thighs
i am not just the design of my clothes
i am not just the price of my purse
i am not just the pattern of my headscarf
i am not just the length of my nails
i am not just a body

i am a mind
i am a heart
i am a soul

i am my theories
i am my thoughts
i am my perceptions
i am my opinions
i am my viewpoints
i am my objectives
i am my purpose
i am my outlooks
i am my intentions
i am my reasons
i am my perspectives
i am my choices
i am my principles
i am my ideologies

i am a thinking, feeling, living, stimulated, motivated, inspired being

i've got a world inside of me
take a look see
before you choose to pass judgment on me.
growing up as a female in a male dominated society, arguably a male dominated world, it's not always easy to be taken seriously. your ideas disregarded, and passion dismissed as "overly emotional".
i crave stimulating conversations, & feel as if my physique comes before my psyche. and to me, that is painful. so as always, i chose to write about the hurt.
  Oct 2015 loveinquandary
mk
she was so unaware
i couldn't help but stare
she was lost
she was emerged
in the world
within those pages

my gaze unintentionally fixated
on the girl
with green speckled eyes
and the loveliest lips i've ever seen

her fingers
so delicate
turning the page
quietly, gently
as if not to hurt
nor disrespect
the yellowing pages
and the tiny print

the range of emotions
so clearly displayed
through her expressions
as she read through
i was entertained
by the little smirk
which turned into
furrowed brows
then sorrowful sighs
as the story went on

she went through the emotions
and took me along with her

everyday since then
at 12:04pm
i look for the girl
in the library
hoping to catch a glimpse
of my
*literary fantasy
give me the chance to love you, i'll tell you the only reason why: cause you are on my mind.
  Oct 2015 loveinquandary
mk
he can't tell
that she's been crying
while she promises him
she's "fine"
he can't tell
that she's slowly dying
when she tells him
"everything's alright"

you'll lose her
she's fading
this won't last long
you'll be left
empty handed
wondering
where you went wrong
by that time
it'll be
too late
she'll be
*gone.
so cliché i'm gagging
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