Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
465 · Jan 2015
And so we made love**
S Smoothie Jan 2015
Etherial touches urging into heated strokes
and a declaration of unwavering love.
gasps of 'oh how beautiful i look'
while devouring the mead of my generosity,
complements falling from your mouth
with every ****** an oath of desire
but i heard none of it
all i could see was her picture,
wiping every word from your mouth.




The doubtress flaunting my pain.
461 · Jun 2014
Love happened
S Smoothie Jun 2014
---

It was raw and it was undeniably there.

it shook my world and I  relished it

i fought it tooth and nail

i dragged the last of my sanity and self respect

and told my self it wasn't right

and I fought the electricity between our skin

i fought the chemistry and passion

I waited years to take you out of me

to breathe without thinking you

But in that crystal clear moment,

a glorious awaking.

it happened;

and

nothing else

mattered.
460 · Nov 2016
Ghost of your love
S Smoothie Nov 2016
In love with the ghost  of yesterday
dreamlike memories bathed in warmth and delight
covert missions of rendezvous
pinprick tensions suspended over danger
adrenalin highs of loves' riskè adventures
A closeness with the propensity to lose ourselves in each other
Always only one moment away from complete immersion in rapture
enveloped by you,
you invaded my senses in such an effortless way
You felt so natural, almost worn into me  
yet, you pulled away, distracted by some other passing fancy
and I waited till I had to move
you were never here, in the moment I'm stuck in, for more than a flutter,
and against my better senses
I still believe you to be all you were and more
but you were only ever nearly all in
and my heart refuses to listen

my soul, it goes by another story
spanning the tenements of time immortal
it takes no heed of blubbering flesh
it is merely a host for the tortures of love;
and I,
its conscious expression
458 · Apr 2014
Sweetly assasinated
S Smoothie Apr 2014
your sweet touch lingers in the memory of my skin
tiny pinholes of pleasure gasping for breath
the hardness of you pressed warmly against the hollows
the sheath laid to the floor
no barriers
all guards let down
acceptance of the inevitable
as you drink deep, what is offered so willingly
after a hard fought battle
pleasures escape from your lips lies caress my soul
and mark my heart for disaster
and in the warm panic of approaching ******
all confessions obtained by blunt and assertive force have been wrenched away from this guarded heart,
and yet nothing but the mechanics of your lips and fingertips linger
the warmth swept away by the cold resolution in piercing eyes now
rolled into cold disregard
and deadly ice sets upon blunt trauma shattered by the inevitable truth
the years fall away as a game of love versus lust is thrown to the dogs
and I exquisitely and completely assassinated by love,
one sweet blow at a time.
you get what you believe you wanted only to get what you really asked for. a right hook is the best defence of a left jab.
S Smoothie Mar 2014
oh forever torn and woven back together,
I don't understand the colours of my love
the way they fall and mesh together
the twines twisting and forming buckles and knots
the longing of loving.
the cool practical concern turning my dress into a tunic
the hot fiery passion ripping the fabric from modesty
the warm wool of comfort
the sparse cotton of carelessness
I don't have a shred of love more than I need
or any idea why,
what's woven by one love,
is worn by the other.
454 · Apr 2014
a small token
S Smoothie Apr 2014
magnificence was never a trait of mine

thats why i always wanted to be near yours



the sun scrawls out fingers of light on your crown

The birds sing of love whe youre around

and it fills my heart with longing

how many others open their doors to your glory

and which if ever will you walk through?

my archway lays bare

all my hopes and despairs lace the floor,

curl your soul around me

and lay upon my heart

pick the beat you want,

every one is yours

and with it hope endures.
453 · Jan 2014
bad haikus
S Smoothie Jan 2014
the badly written
seeks to claim many praises
but the best humbles.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
my poetry lives through my tragedy.

my wonderful accomplishments a world of #fuckitupanywhichwayyoucanandwhenyoucantdontworrysomeoneelsewill
­
its a new word for my creative soul.

life is good and the poetry bad.

something everyone should aspire to.

not me.

i live in bittersweet notions

novel novels that live and breathe alternate realities

my realities, with just enough tilt to deny it convincingly well.

ive had the gamut of pains and ills

spared just a few that I still in some twisted way feel ungrateful for.

my hand crafting what my soul denies

my soul suffering my cruel intentions of self demise.

and all for what?

a revelrie in my  hidden thoughts?

an appreciation of my unique set circumstances?

a combination of wordss and thoughts, feelings and contexts peppered with an acute irony that defies psychological definition?

my words are my life,

my knee **** reaction to what i miss most;

the feeling of innocence,

of righteousness,

the world before the seduction of evil,

before the awareness of deception and cruelty.

the safety ive lost,

the horrid deeds done in the name of innocence

and the defiled love that stains my soul with its constant attacks of dark beauty

these are my tragedies

these are my wordss

what else is there,

but wait for applause?
S Smoothie Aug 2014
the eyes of my soul have been opened

tears on dust

dead hearts and headless bodies



the mark of the beast rising

crucified by lucifer

and he cries our lord is his name

not begotten, but made.



Where there is no mercy there is no God.

there is no lord without compassion

I will not be fooled by fears

I will hold my faith high



I hold on inspite of my fear of whats to come

I draw arcs crossing over in the sand

I breathe courage from the lord

the holy comforter



tears on dust

heartless deeds on ***** hands

our Martyrs are not lost,

they are cradled in the ***** of heaven

for only their evil acts will bring us saints

there is no greater honour to suffer,

no greater glory,

let our saints grow in number,

holy, holy martyr

let the angels outnumber the demons

the holy war is eternal

for every lost innocent taken by evil

an other worldly battle is won,

the trupets are sounding

the seals are broken,

Lord have mercy

before we are capable of none.
S Smoothie Feb 2016
Sauntering stealthlike
Emotions raise hairs
Clawing through snow
The senses bark
Panic over pain
And pain over panic again
Scratching ice
Numb is the new state of calm
Blood on white
Shadow slips through light
She fell and lost her heart
There was no way back
The rest was uneasy Silence
Her red hood felt see though as glass
It was a long way home
She thought of him
In every shadow cast
In red drop trails
Panic over pain,
Pain over panic again
451 · May 2014
I Found my God
S Smoothie May 2014
found my God in your eyes

I found my purpose but your religon made no sense

I still suffer from disobedience

sinfully taking what i need

and ignoring all others

you filled my soul

and I can never pray enough

for your eyes to look upon me with ferver

keep your religion

i hang my hopes on the spiritual,

i want a connection

not a mandate of impossible laws

your designs fail me,

everyone a sin to confess,

i dont want your favour

i want your control.

to elvate above you and find your God in my eyes.
S Smoothie Jul 2014
Stubborness was a trait defined acutely at your birth. Some rogue star endowing you with a will beyond my own. Till now. Each stagnant pause, each inaction is infact an action forging reactions upon me. Sealing a resolve upon my heart to forsake you. No defence, no apology. And i refuse to forgive without one. A bitter betrayal. Left my war and fought your war so hard for you. All that remains is the molten wax with the words inscrpited access denied. your new monker imbeded upon my skin. And it seeps darkly red in every corner displacing even the last hope.
And i dont care.
Are you satisfied now?
449 · Aug 2019
Justice by a Higher Name
S Smoothie Aug 2019
How I laughed confident like

Founded upon nervous undertones

hoping you wouldn't hear it



I sure gave you a good kick in the guts!

It took my breath away

The way I took yours

Now I watch you as a curiosity ******* for air

Like fish gaping flipping and flopping in a dried up rock pool



How does it feel?

That sense of suffocation?

I know you think you won't survive

Don't worry, you will...



I can attest to that

Besides we both prescribe to the same idea

And my saviour will save you as your saviour

Will you choke when you have to say our saviour?



Don't worry the blade gets sharper tempered by fire

Trials are for survival and transformation

You'll flip flop and gasp for air but the tide will roll in

And I will drift away and leave you to find your way



But not before the first cut,

The deepest

Is replaced by a scar across my soul

May God have mercy

Because you certainly don't!
Author's Notes/Comments:
Sometimes grace just gets in the way of Justice.
449 · Aug 2014
Her Song (confessional)
S Smoothie Aug 2014
Folder: Heart aesthetics

diamonds in her eyes

no hope left in her pocket

heart's a mess

heart's a mess

diamonds in her eyes

no hope left in her pocket

sun doesnt shine warm anymore

moon wont glow

heart's a mess

heart's a mess

pulling stars from the sky

dragging down rainbows

tearing wings off butterflies

heart's a mess

heart's a mess

diamonds in her eyes

no hope left in her pocket

shes so beautfiul

shes so beautiful

when her heart is all a mess

a love dies unconfessed

diamonds in her eyes

no hope left in her pocket

so beautiful,

so beautiful,

she's so beautiful

when her heart's a mess
440 · Jul 2015
It's not beautiful
S Smoothie Jul 2015

Beaten
breathless
bruised
broken
torn
tattered
stiched up
resuscitated
and
resuscitated again.

that was the function of her heart

- to be pulled to pieces
Or pushed back in together again

and still
she managed
the miracle
of love.

...

her love was
unconditionally blind
but the strong quiet
beautiful kind
that no one thought
beautiful at all.

...

A perfectly perfunctory love.


S Smoothie Apr 2018
Her shoulder was bare
a bronze shimmer
uncovered by the slip
of her sleeve
he couldn’t help but to gently stoke the curves
the sea breeze played with rogue strands of hair
and her beauty was her sadness
as she gazed unpon the ruins
of her buried heart
she seemed inconsolable
yet defiant
and a calm peace
drew him in
and he loved her in that instant
like he’d never loved before
and knowing it was completely hopeless
reconciled himself
to her protector
and keeper
of her faith
in something greater.
she didn’t move
and he took this for her compliance
a small mercy
in the tragedy of their lives.
Author's Notes/Comments:
in the darkest times a small glint becomes a bright sun of hope.
438 · Mar 2014
Fickerrss
S Smoothie Mar 2014
the light flickers

the candle plays tricks for me

a warm ambient glow,

its life, simply there for my entrancement.

if only you were the flame of this candle.

then I could watch you dance and play sensously

instead of watching shadows

make shapes reminicent of you,

flicker on the wall,

wishing you close,

feeling your warmth.
436 · Feb 2018
Nothing much
S Smoothie Feb 2018
For the times that seemed so dark and hollow

You have been a beacon of light

You've  tripped me up

You've helped  me up

Your heated touch has stung as well as thrilled

Your eyes have held disspointment

And unrivaled love

You've ripped my heart from my soul

And put it back just as easily

I guess what I know is that

The beauty of us

is in the restoration of tragedy

The righting of wrongs

The life of lovers

Tormented souls

Finding meaning and solace

In each others arms

Wrapped by the thighs

In passionate pleas

For Love to last

Forever and all the versions

In all dimensions

Of existence to last for infinity

Is after all our aeons together

The depth of our challenges

Nothing much compared to

Our infinite forever love.
25
436 · Sep 2021
Its complicated
S Smoothie Sep 2021
What else?

A tangled bundle of glistening threads

No hint of beginning, no end

What one thread looses

another one pulls,

The highways and byways of life

A stellar matrix

Star lit dot to dots

Jumping from one to the next

The riddle is read

But not in the way it is written

The answer is said

But not in the way it was given

Another black hole

Another pull form the inside out

I go there to find you

But by the time I get there

You are all hollowed out

Where did you go?

Where did I find myself?

How did we lose?

What have we found?

Another tussle

A pull of thread

And another journey

Beyond the veil

Dont say I didn't warn you

Sanity hangs by a thread

Only which one?
S Smoothie Oct 2014
whirlpools.

thoughts,

ideas about love and other things

you.

me.

everything in between us.

the things I love the things I hate

the things i need.

Im not sure if you are one of them

but im afraid to find out.

lost in the humdrum punctuated by angry swirls

I find something elegant about your redemption

from your graceless fall each time.

so this is love hey

and i struggle to define it in some useful form

its not pretty at all and yet so strangely beautiful.

it seems the more we hang on the more it transcends

I am hoping desperately that it isnt simply a fear

ove the loss of time spent scaping us together each time

or some stupid hope that if we hang in long enough

the fruits of our labours will come.

or is it that you and i are inextricably linked by some chaotic yet ancient force

that stirs these whirlpools into action

that the sound of my name from your lips raises hairs on my neck

and the touch of your hands warms me to my soul

and in your eyes I see home, the very same  one Ive seen you long for

in mine. and the stupid way you think drives me crazy,

but the way you love me is something of time immortal

and I can feel it burning into me

calling me home when Ive forgotten you on my adventures

and a pull so strong so real that it lights my heart almost as bright as my soul

when I see you and you see me in that way we do sometimes

we know its just so exquisitely right the way we connect.

whirlpools.

thoughts. ideas about love and other things.

you.

me.

us.
S Smoothie Feb 2016
Folder:  CUNTISM
Firelight softens your cruel eyes,
taken by your mystery
I waited for your arm around my shoulder
But it never came
Neither did the passionate kisses
Your hand on my cheek was menacing
I knew the beach sand was soft
I waited eye to eye
I didn't resist your push
I knew what I wanted
I hoped
The soft thud of sand nestling before it scratches
Rough fingers
Drew moistened desire
  From  deep inside my aching crevice
Without looking away he pulled me free
Naked skin rising to greet warm air
Cruel intentions darkly made their  way  through me
Pushing past pain and delight
unto a land of torturous confusion
Heightened senses warn of impending danger
I rush to find my own nirvana scraping sand against velveteen
A flicker,
I broke him
he gasped,
fingers dug deep into skin held me there.
  
As he left,
Deep inside my bones
I felt colder than ever
a sweetness begging like a ***** on heat
knawing at me
Swollen and dripping,
oceans roared indignation in sympathy
A burnt ember,
He knew what I was doing when  he walked into the night
Never looking back once.
431 · Dec 2015
Bang, bang...
S Smoothie Dec 2015
Irksome calm
Uncomfortable silence
Tension before the violence
Unsettling mind
Uneasy heart
Oceans apart
Denial of trust
Darkness and shadows
Lies like truths
Piercing arrows
Stabs of aching
The sound of breaking
If only you had said
What's in your head
I wouldn't have filled in my own blanks
With lead.
S Smoothie Mar 2014
Folder: LOVE AND OTHER RELATED *******


I dont feel like listening to pathetic vows pledged forever,

I dont want to hear another ******* line about love

I dont care to be reminded of the beauty and the pain

I dont feel like hoping in you again.

save the sickeningly sweet confessions

save it.

I dont even want to remember your name

Im too **** busy forgetting your face.
S Smoothie Mar 2014
Which thousandth time is this,
that  my heart and soul cry out to you?
You have knocked my world senseless yet again.
rendered me incapable, unreachable, unlovable.
I am in the space between life, death and dreams
where I can sit next to you all I want and feel home.
The rage,* quietened by our tenderness,
our tenderness stoked by our synergies aligning
The shape and shadows of our love fall on the wall,
a four armed hypnotic cobra,
two twined into one
an intrinsic vibration,
a holy peace to transcend all eternity;
I could spend forever here...
*-If I wasn't so captivated by his seductive hell.
429 · Jan 2015
if it ever will.
S Smoothie Jan 2015
The frequencies play white noise in my head.
cant seem to catch your tune.
The notes dont make sense the way we used to.
So I write echos caught in the caves of despair
Capturing faded signals from the cracks of light stinging my soul
And the endless night sky.
A meagre emotional existence
clinging to webs of hope
traced from star to star, galaxy to galaxy.
infinite strands;
none seems tethered to you.
Time is endless,
and the missing immortal.
429 · Jul 2017
Lit
S Smoothie Jul 2017
Lit
The search for besuty
in the fires of your heart
start at warmth of it and never ends

at its inception
the masterful makers of heart fires
marked you out as extraordinary

I am captivated by the feeling
well before I see it burning in your eyes
Take me with you
light me up like a burning man effigy
explode my heart into a million stars
to chase across the skies
with one simple yess
a doorway
to a thousand and more exhilarating deaths
and rebirths

Set me alight
with all the colours of your love
x
428 · Feb 2018
Missed by Midnight
S Smoothie Feb 2018
The midnight moonlight strained through the veils that hung either side of the old house's glass soul garners beset in lead white painted frames; trickling  onto heavily treaded, rich walnut boards. It was an inviting tease, but seemed so far away than it did last midnight. The clock hadn't quite struck the hour, but sensing it was close began anticipating when...

A tiny draft nudged the curtains ever so lightly, elegantly. The darkness of the last days had taken their toll. Everything seemed to protest the efforts funneled into escaping the swallowing coverlet of the bed. But the moon beckoned and its call was a sadness  too  loud to ignore. A moment  of resolve had the tenses at readiness and just as the final vault was about to be taken,  the chimes heralded the hour.

Startled, the vague  sense that a third chime had resonated, releasing its self into the night and melding with the walls into silence. Senses finally consorted themselves into some less vague awareness.  The clock's official count had begun...4...5...6...7 ...8 - a beat as always on the ninth, a quiver 10... 11...12... a delicate fade for 12th's swan song . the hungry serpent slience, quickly swallowed the room once more.

It's hard not to think in the deafening silence. It seems to breed thoughts from mere dust particles, like those captured by the moonstreams  pouring  through and making rivulets between the textures of the worn grains of the heavy wooden boards.

Staring at the glowing, gently suspended swirling particles, lit and extinguished as they dipped in and out of the pale blue-grey filems. They seemed so happy elegantly dancing in the moonlight. Envy struck a renewed a determination to bathe in its entrancing soft light.

Desperate muscles fired and the old bed protested from such a vigerous rousing and flung its squatter into the abyss! Suddenly  falling to the floor helplessly in an unexpected motion. A frozen moment spent an eternity registering its self in the senses. A blink and acknowledgement. A second blink confirming the ridiculous state of affairs! Lying like a broken puppet waiting for some other source of mobility as the mental strings were tugged one by one working its way around asertaining possible movements that would not further confound the tangled mess of limbs.

Slowly a plan emerges. Gathering the strings drawing up limbs propped against the still protesting creaks of the old bed. A final heave and a somewhat vertical slant, gave way to vertigo. Wafting centrivically left to right anchored by arms clutching screaking posts. Pressed Darkness from obedient lids offered a slight repreive.

The  moon waited paitently, peaking under and over a bevy of clouds. Heartbeats counted down the long voyage to the land of respite. The beauty called hauntingly, telling of a wanting so powerful, so necessary,  that eyes and moon ached in symphony.

The  whole house seemed to want to urge on the meeting of moonbeams  and iris. The cool air coalesced around uncertain feet placing invisible wings upon ankles. One foot drawn slightly past the other slid on cool waxed boards.

Enforced  Blindness seemed to be fitting as hands reached out for the window seat. An endless push and desperatte fumbling finally succeed in finding the hard ledge and once heaved up by protesting muscles onto the fitted cushion with the throw wrestled awkwardly and finally drawn up and over, a deep breath took in the fragrant night air.

Sitting quietly for a moment, listening to the faint fllutters of the winds secrets. The moonlight gently pressing into the translucence of thin eye lids urged sweetly to be admired with a sincere promise of exceeding the glowing return. Slowly, unable to resist such gentle persuasion,  a readiness creeped through gathering momentum and eyes slowly flickered open absorbing the beauty. The warmth of relief welled up.  The moon, appreciated so, shined its best!  Having been so lost in quiet symbiotics, the ambience was suddenly pierced, as a solitary chime brought with it, the reminder that one is alone, like the moon in a sea of stars.



.
Some things are worth it.  Appreciation is a lost art left to those who are happy or dying.
428 · Mar 2015
Finding dark
S Smoothie Mar 2015
Time rules this body and mind
But not this soul.
Searching the endless stars for my dark,
a chance to shine.
Quazars and lightshows glitter so bright,
Evious creations marvels of lightover pure darkness
thier beauty unpolluted by crossed over light.
how i long for you to wrap me up in your darkness,
how wonderfully bright my colours would shine for us, only knowing that your sacrifce, is mine
that each glorous showering lightscape,
pushes you deeper into a darker space
we can never let our true cores touch
or i shall be less me and you less you.
Our tipchasy never at an end
but always our favourite game,
the enless anticipation
of our truest selves on show
to see our colours of love again!
Till then soul love,
find dark and i will find you again.
428 · Dec 2013
Love like it was brand new*
S Smoothie Dec 2013
Turn out the lights
Just for tonight
Let's forget our slights

Take me in your warm arms
Let me feel the heart I long for
Forget the words that cut our souls apart
Hold my world up one more time

Turn out the lights
Just for tonight
Let's forget our flights

tomorrow the let pain come
But tonight, let that ring stand for somethin again
I just want to hold you tangled up
crawl up inside you one more time

Turn out the lights
Just for tonight
Let's forget our spites

Let it crash and burn in the morn
but give us that chance to bring it all back
Touch my soul again as if it were brand new*

As clear and full of hope
as the day I left heaven
and fell for you
426 · Jan 2018
The 13th Mystery
S Smoothie Jan 2018
...

A whisper on the wind
carried news of your impending arrival

even the birds held their breath,
not even a twig deared snap in anticipation.

You were one one of
the 12 great mysteries of life.

But I  saw through you.

You took far more than I was willing to give unwittingly.

I am my own mystery,

so I whistled sweetly crunching on soft twigs
suffering all the hard stares and curses of the woods.

But, these are my woods,
my fields of green and my happiness never depended on you.

I wont hold my breath or on to any false hopes.

I know what there is to seek,
and what I don't want to find,

I know what I am.

Do you?
426 · Sep 2021
Rant Over
S Smoothie Sep 2021
Me and you

I say "_!"

You say "you too!"

You say "
_!"

I say duck!

You throw _!



Just my luck!



And then,

a flash across an iris

A magnet of desire,

A silent pause

And we both start doing

Exactly just what we'd said we'd do
S Smoothie Jun 2014
The hollow space where you stepped from my atmosphere felt so empty;

void of all feeling and substance. It seems you even took the air with you.

---

As you left I felt my contentment tearing away.

i held my hands awkwardly half shut, half open;

it was all I could do to stop myself physically clawing for it

---

a coldness swooped in and claimed your previously occupied space as its own, hanging itself around me... A strange essence, with the ability to call out my confidence and destroy its underlying ego. It taunted me with the relative ill-ease consuming my thoughts. As I watched each drawn out pace spreading you further away, your physicality dissolving in to the clatter and garbled amusements of the facetious element hoarded into the smoke hazed ornate ballroom.

---

It was clear you had no intentions of pandering to my insecurities, or remotely interested in any other of my womanly charms

A beast of bested burden; how easily he laid upon my heart like a warm blanket

His cruelties stung me with passion, his empty words grew me to love him in spite of him. How easily he tangled my well formed opinions and pulled my perceptions from under me!  I felt I was dancing on an ever shifting carpet afraid for dear life about to topple over the edge and ever rescued from the finite moment...

---

Appalled by my countenances, compelled by my indignation, repelled by my eagerness,  yet, still there ghostly and taunting.

But I had seen it.

A gold moment of freedom, of warmth in his eyes and I pained to see it again. It was this dust particle lit by the sun emanating a warmth to fill the rooms empty space with such a gorgeous sweet freedom, of dancing upon lightness and air!

Eye to eye, soul to soul. In that fraction of a moment it had happened and he was driven to erase it with all and any counter actions. Knowingly I begin to feel a slight crescent nudging the corner of my mouth as I realise suddenly  picking up my ego and dusting the cold off my shaken confidence... Impossible. I left, knowing the manipulations that would follow with the kind of surety of knowing one with a complete intimacy aged of many years an yet it had only Been 3 days, 3 complete life times. One fraction of eternity. I walked never looking back knowing it was I leaving the void behind me.

---

I did not care for wanton games this evening. I am not a plaything contented to puzzle over strings dangling of bobs, bits and things. As the cab rolled up and I was safely tucked inside, I thought of the ensuing orchestration of our physicality. I felt with such fervour we would meet again soon. That was three lifetimes ago. And I still won't let myself falter.

---

I write to pass this endless time.
A few pages from a book long ago
422 · Apr 2014
it never seems so.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
I havent thought of you all day.

till this second.

I had a lovely time,

the wet pleasant weather sending cool breezxes and light rain

relaxing in bed.

warm body snuggled up tight next to me

everything so beautifully perfect...

till this second.
421 · Jun 2014
love tangles and knots
S Smoothie Jun 2014
love escapes us

it roams free in the netherworld

it comes to touch us lightly on the shoulder

it plays with the strings tied to our hearts

tangles and knots

it trips us up and cuts us free

what is it dear love that you want from me?
420 · Jun 2014
Aches beside sunsets
S Smoothie Jun 2014
it was a cool breezy sunset

the colours of passion swallowed up the skies

and chased the sun

dragging the starlights over the sea.

a chill set in.

I wished to hell I had his arms around me

only the warmth of his memory remained

and that kind of warmth

does nothing for the lonely chill in this cold night air.
419 · Jun 2017
What I wish you would say
S Smoothie Jun 2017
-----
Salt of the earth
my house on a rock
Plain t-shirt easy jeans.
Intense eyes, a complicated mind
and a simple heart.
Everyday arms hold me in decorated silence
reverberating unspoken themes
warm fingertips tend my weary bones.
Frowns wiped away with thumb tips and smiles
but what I wish most for,
is for you to say
what every ounce of easy love
stands for in each and every way.

To speak the unspoken power that lifts me up in everyday
with nothing but the simplest of things you do but wont say.

Tell me:
the stars don't circle the earth;
they circle you,
Wrap them selves around you
just to stay close
Twinkle in the sky just to capture themselves reflected in your eyes.
That the heavens crowd the sky for a glimpse of your smile
and
form endless glittering patterns
for your favour,
that the bravest stars
fall simply to rest as dust at your feet
and that I,
of all the the souls that travel endlessly through time
was chosen,
a simple form,
to be as a burnt offering
loved by you
therefore burn brighter that the brightest sun
The cause of the supernova in my heart
I keep cloaked in a veil of everyday nothings
so that no one else can ever discover
the purest highest nirvana
when your soul mingles with mine.

The way I wish i could tell you all the time x
S Smoothie May 2014
still the wires pass on the electrodes of warmth

the phone message sound that used to make my heart leap with an energy uncontrolable now someone else's exhillaration.

somewhere ovehead on the one freequency connected we keep our heart moves open for transmission

we deal with the thought of us, we live through our knowing of us, who we are and what we were born to do.

we keep on doing it apart as sure as its the same stars above in our eyes that keep us together in spirit.

and as we pass by on occasion the flood of relief drenches us as we look with one silent eye to eye transmitting a whole world of love

respect falls away passion takes over and before the damage is done in that one still moment lids fall,

pain takes over, this world of cruel understandings, has no place for us, thus we make our own in singular moments

and over the frequencies because a love like ours never dies and must be lived.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
once again I am summoned to the irrisistable beat of your love drums.

I go in circles.

no man's land

one oar in the sea and the other pointed at the ocean.

lost in the midst of wanting and understanding

I like the circle best as it bodes closer to you my love
and less as I further away my back to you.

I am here.

you are not.

I cant come.

you will not.

what am I to do when you make my heart dance so beautifully?

what life is there without our symphony?

waves of love crash the shore with no one to greet them.

I stare into the depths of the ocean.

a marbled reflection.

a contemplation.

no man is an island.

an assurance.

you pull me in to shore just out of reach

and you keep walking down the shoreline

do you know my heart goes with you?

and all I can do is circle it from afar
as I push myself out into the ocean once again I know,

you will do what a gentleman does,

give my heart back, and in doing so

never from you will it part.

I float in circles,

trying to dance while I hear the beat of your drums

in an unsteady vessel,

half full, half empty of love.
S Smoothie Oct 2014
Folder: Dark stuff

broken fragments float in a mind long devoid of understanding

exponential potential in any of the answers

suspended in a ether of nothingness in something

time shifts the perspective the angles always change

like the answers they only fit for the moment

and swiftly move out of focus when youre not looking

like treading popping bubbles

its impossible to go anywhere but down

and up is a whole lot of work there isnt time for

life is marked by soon forgotten glimmers of realisation

hung on a hook leaving the logic and going by feel

groaping the dark for fragments

waiting in the midst of it.
414 · May 2014
it leaves a mark
S Smoothie May 2014
I live to forgive you
But i cant bare the stain of your touch
The sweet burn of your lips Will surely melt with my own
Why you have the keys to my soul,My soma, my mind, my hearts desire
Is a heartbreak that no lesson can learn
I left you in the dust when you took my soul
I live only to forgive you
 And let the rest burn
One sweet day maybe
ill give yours back to you,
Forgive me,
I can't bare the stain of your touch.
413 · May 2014
trying not to vent
S Smoothie May 2014
Trying to stay strong
But i feel so **** alone
The only way out of this steaming pond is to drain the sucker dry

Tired of swinming in my own sweat and tears
Delivering on other peoples promises that never took into account my quality or my generosity, only thier comfort in my selflessness.

I am a being like not too many others whos goodness and light has slowly been leached from my bones with no sustinance i have reached the form of a blackened stone

Heavy and compact repelling all light to the centre. This is the state of being used one phase before ashes.

Self preservation embarks on negative pressures...

better watch the **** out when this diamond comes the clarity will be blinding and the cut so clean youll barely notice

till even as a paper weight you wont find me ill be sparkling precious in anothers eyes who's smile enhances mine.
413 · Jan 2014
perfect haiku
S Smoothie Jan 2014
nature comes through verse
comforting warm like the sun
till the cutting line.
412 · Jun 2016
That thing we do
S Smoothie Jun 2016
Once again thoughts run haywire
overun by you
mind crackles alive with alternative universes.
Or cracks we could slip through and melt together.

-----

Searching for an exit its too late
Nothing but the inevitable longing of home

----

Warm eyes melt away the distance
As always,
time has no meaning for us,
it only passes drawing circles around us
dragging with it destiny's indelicate strings  into knots of fate
That only seem to tighten

----

Resistance is futile
Fate has consipired
face to face again
Heart to heart,
Soul to soul.

----

Old wounds fade
A new pain rises
The inevitable nothing
Another lifetime of longing
Two steps away
And aeons apart

----

A tangled mess of miss-timed,out of tune
love symphanies
That inevitably end apart

----

What else is there to do
But to spend endless aeons in your eyes
And capture long lived memories
Of an ancient past
Where everything was held in eachothers arms

-----

The Gods decreed no
Setting our pawns in motion
But there are no other obidences
In our soul's hearts
Despite our best intentions
It seems we can never be
Truly drawn apart


----

Let the emotions fall
Through the guard veils
Let the hidden energy of our souls
mingle in eacothers atmophere
To be in this moment,
In all the gloriousness of love
The truest kind
The kind for all ages to come
Ours.
412 · Dec 2013
The Process...
S Smoothie Dec 2013
the darkness comes as it goes

the dread however, seems intent on staying.

falling to my feet only ends up a ****** mess

theres no soft place to fall,

no solice to take.

...

there is only the act of hardening

and tempered steel,

though, when cold to the touch

is savagely barren

it can still in the heat of fire

take on the attributes of warmth

and melt and become something rather inept

though slightly beautiful.

...

what then, is there to do but reform our selves

and invite anguish and pain and then harden and soften again

till we find the shape of our hearts in the mould of the future

we once dreamed of

if we can still remember it.

...

and dread will be our constant companion;

the third wheel in our fortunes.

which was never handed to us in any decent form of fate,

but that in that fight of going anywhere

somewhere hidden in the violent struggle

is our often ignored love

beating its heart out for the tempo to temper

and

both beats to trigger each other in all our love states

simply to be recognised for what they are,

invincible.
409 · Dec 2017
How do you find Motivation?
S Smoothie Dec 2017
You don't find it.
YOU CREATE IT.
It starts with -
Just because I can, I have the will.
Because I have the will, I have the means,
because I have the means, I allocate time.
Because Time is precious, I Prioritise.
Because priorities compete, I assign equal times to needs.
thus I begin.
Once I begin, I reprioritise, because I can ...

A thought with no action is of no concequence
408 · Jun 2017
Who knows?
S Smoothie Jun 2017
Feelings rush around my body provoking the thoughts in my head.

The struggle to delineate right from wrong bares down on me like a heavy dark shadow carrying the weight of my misgivings.

Am I a tool furthering destructive programming from big brother?
Or
a hapless dreamer looking for silverlinings in the dark ?

From divided love and loyalties,
I swing: a pedulum of frustration and anxiety one minute and stop  in apathy the next.

Perception and point of views have too many depths to dive into.
each one a murky abyss offering nothing but the promise of enduring mystery.

I throw my hands up
and still  get shot anyway

I show the colour of my beliefs
and im labelled a facist

I fight for my freedom
and am labelled a racist

I respond to hatred with contempt
and im held in contempt

I fight a war that I never started
and found myself left to my own devices

The enemy laughs
as it uses our enlightenment
against us.

Delusional,
we think we're winning
Propaganda machine doesn't sleep,  
always on a
24 hour
need to know basis.

I stole love and I withheld it
I cried poor and never meant it
The vice in my hands
told me to do it

What happens now?
407 · Jul 2014
fallen stars
S Smoothie Jul 2014
The stars have fallen,
The night's a shroud over dark velvet seas
Blackened and soulless.
The sky has fallen,
the moon refused to rise.
Poignant.

The crest has fallen weary
The rage of Poseidon's realm
Thunders in the thick charcoal air
******* in disdain and pouring fury out
Crashing
Pain, pain, pain.

The invisible sand rushes, grabs and pulls
Sinking, pulling hope into the pits of despair
Rushing backwards dizzily, swallowing deeper and deeper
Lost eyes in an unlit void screaming brightly
Blinding
Lies, lies, lies.

A fury so black.
A sadness so dark.
A love lost forever
the moment it was spoken
The stars fell out of the sky.
an old poem updated a little.
406 · Jan 2017
Haiku Quintessence
S Smoothie Jan 2017
In truth

Eyes brought me to knees
Only God shows what God sees;
Heart closes, eyes opened


Hope

Hands wrung tight on hope
Truth landslides down the mountain;
Loose hands never hold

Resist

Dissolved in your sights.
Puddle of inconsequence;
Easily taken

Mismatched

Found, lost in your eyes;
The universe tilted left.
Now, nothing is right.
406 · Jul 2014
Symphonia
S Smoothie Jul 2014
If you could see life in my terms,

The song in my heart

over precarious waters

we two mad cap ruffians of love

Plucking the strings of Eros

From guitars that are not our own

And the song plays regardless

Lifting our love higher and higher

What wonderous sound the vibrato

Upon catching the thrum in the air

To kiss upon that half beat

A stolen moment from a highjacked concerto

Pulsing through our hearts

In beauteous trothes of midnight madness

When all the world is sleeping

And we dance together

Ethereal in our dreams

Our pirated fates

Aligned by birthright,

Forged in opposite directions

We at least have one small mercy,

Appeasing our guiding stars

through the thrum on the wind

Aligning in love upon our sails insignia of pain

of each scar in the fabric of our being

stretching across the seas of uncertainty

Let us ever meet in songs of love

By our agreement to the symphonia

of our hearts,

Through the ever winding

winds of love.
Folder: Unconsumated
Symphonia means complete agreement sympatic and syncronicity which the word symphony derives its meaning from
405 · May 2014
The Fray
S Smoothie May 2014
where do you go when the wind blows nothing but cold?

who's face do you look for when they all turn away?

what philosophy can get you through pain

when you dont even know how it got there again?


who's to blame when it all rubs the wrong way?

what attitude do you adjust except you own?

what fight is there worth winning when none of it goes away?

the rest is not ours to change there is only so much one can do

what use is the truth when the boundaries are outside of you?


whose dark cloud has invaded my space?

who's light can I really depend on?

When to give is only a part, to take is even harder

what do you account for when nothing adds up any way?

the mood unleashes again another endless fray?


push it all in, just one more day,

the will to live must be displayed

close the door on one more pain,

it all remains the same everything is seen.

learn to live with the new damage

sit atop the pile like a frozen queen


the mantra begins


the self is sustained by the will to live

the soul is sustained by the will to love

the heart is sustained by the reminder of pain

the body is but a hostage to all that remains.


the question begs


where do you look when all else decays?


the answer refuses to say.
Next page