They blinked

A film of Mystery

Drawn up

glassy shields

Deflecting truth

A dazzlement of lights

Leaving faded whispers

Trails of left stars

Burned up in some atmosphere

Signalling the phoenix dive

A refusal to meet fact

A skipped beat over reality

Dreams split into prophesy

Lips hung in the air

Pregnant with pauses

Lost in denial

They blink

As if they'd never known

Their love before

The truth was hovering

But neither one

Reached out to touch it

And none could figure out why?

Folder: Heart aesthetics
Something reached in,

pulled my heart out and left me behind

still scrambling for bearings

don't know left from right

you did a number on me,

i don't know if I can last the fight

that raging fire you pushed inside

has burned up all reason

i hunt for you, night and light

my loves death for your treason

drip by drip, drop by drop

I died a thousand times

through crimson tracks

chasing your shadows

through endless seasons

you don't want it but you wont give it back

i see those lies in your eyes

the hurt I saw inside

just a trick.

You'd think I'd have known better

crimson drips splatter

leaving me behind.

As I step on to the precipice of the unknown

I don't dare look down;

instead I trusted that once that step was taken

I flew.



The whistling of doubt swirling around my ears

Drowned out by the scream of delight

Free falling to uncertainty



I never bothered to learn how to fly

I had too much faith

All broken wings are mended



control is nothing but a choice

And never have I ever run out of choices



The best choice I have ever made

Is to call a ***** a *****

Never to doubt my self in anything

That mistakes aren't real

A course of action is simply a choice

and a collection of reactions

That don't exist except in a memory



I am always in control of my reactions

And that's why I didn't flinch when you threw my dignity to the floor

I walk out and left it



Obviously you were in need of some.



Excuse me, but I have other choices to make

Get the **** out of my way



I'm gonna fly!

Folder: I'm Bigger Than Ben Hur!
One more misread line
One more antic to decline
Open up my poetry
To the masses and this
Is what I find:


No news is good news
My pain is amusement
I crack myself open
and pour out My truths
My words,
for me.


Will you turn them from me?
Humanity bares similarity
The themes are all the same
But each has its own Play
written by the same
I will be there in the
End waiting to find out
like the rest of us
When this drama ends.


Don't read yourself into my lines
Read your pain into my rhymes
These are
my words,
For me.


I will show you my pain
And hope from it
something you gain
when you see it
As it is
through my window frame.


Tirelessly I write
to end these
spirited convexations
Whispers of unheard
conversations
The aura around
your presence
May darken my own gold
But what ever I write
I labour alone.


These are
My Words
For me.

My consolation
For skipping through
the Madness of my
Spiritual frustrations.

Can you see me
The way I need you to see?
The way I really am?

With these, that are
my words.
For me.

like dust catching sunlight

those swirls we're floating on

never let us touch for long

always carried away by life and its plans

where we end up none of us knows

but you looked so magnificent up close

that golden guilded flash of you

it was contageous and after circling around we saw our moment

and we held on to each other as long as we could

it wasnt enough.

maybe next time when I see you after floating in the sun

our dust specks will settle in just the right way

and may we lay there forgotten

for the rest of our days.

I have a warming glow

coalseced in the pit of my soul

giving rise to more profound insights

that are yet to claim their words.

I pray they do find them similarly

in days yet to come,

but the beats pass unavailed often.

Fingers yearning, burning for touch

Cool skin warming under the heat of desiring eyes

Melded from memories of midnight places

And timeless glances

Welded eyes want to give all the clues to every secret longing, yet nothing away.

An inch spanning eternity a fragile bridge formed by the heat of breath swirling invitations of divine pleasures and intricate patterns for desires filled with aching, yet wanton abandon refrains

The rare heady warmth and enveloping depth of hearts intertwining in some mystic soul ritual, as if it had been too long and naught but for the savouring of such tension like the surface of clear glassy water before shattered by the shock wave of a projectile, just before chaos and expulsion ensue,

tip to tip shared breath, aching for the finite change of the slightest touch, not a hair arched forward, not a finger tip dared move, frozen in the complete confession of a love found unforced, not chosen, nor designed by day dreams. It just was as it had always been inextricably theirs yet not for this moment, this plane, or this existence, but love, never plays by the the rules

d



Hold it.
Wrap fingers around it.
Squeeze gently.
slowly release.
Drag fingers downwards.
Twist slightly.
Slowly release.
Drag fingers upwards.
Downwards again.
Grip firmly
pull forward
Twist slightly upwards
Slowly release
Squeeze gently
Curl back
That's it
Now go faster
And repeat till you get the hang of it
and That's how you write the letter d
with correct finger placement.
Great job!

The unrighteous seek the words to passify their guilt and find peace driving it away with their actions.

The righteous seek the word to acknowledge thier guilt and wash it away with repentence and find peace.

---!!!---



Don't speak of tragedy

like it was nearly avoided.



Don't speak of love

as if you never had it.



Don't live as if

we never knew.



Don't speak of me

as if I was no one.



Dont make ordinary

our extraordinary.



Don't speak of denials

or missed chances.



It was a once in many lifetimes

And now after so long,

our eyes meet.





I saw.

It was all there again

in your eyes.



Don't speak.



The sounds

only drown

in the waterfalls

falling from your lies.



--!!!--

It's clear that I have lost friends
That's what fire in your soul and the resulting fearlessness brings
I don't have a lot of intelligent open minded people rifling through my works or giving them the attending  or attention they deserve. They might overlook the irony sarcasm, wit or inherent fairness that is so carefully crafted into endless themes. Sometimes a social leveler, others a defensive maneuver of a wounded animal or all out aggressive neutralizing campaign. Regardless, I never wrote for any of them, I wrote for me.
They were just lucky I let them see.

- The SS

A sharp love is keen
The heart cuts as easily
Katanas nature

Folder: DEDICATIONS With Love or Otherwise.

__
its time.

you have twisted my thoughts enough.

you beg me to write about you,

you swarm my home with words from every direction

desperate admiration

unattractive attentions ironically invite compassionate beauty

such a skiddish mind argues in loop holes to stay safe

you have begged with every thought worthy or unworthy

you have given your all,

now you ask for my sumation of the cracks and all,

glimpses of your dark winding whirlwind of sweet scrawling squalls,

like golden leaves flickering in the sun,

a glimmer of shimmer in a twisting dark mess

I have seen them.

yet, I will not describe them beyond this,

for I fear you may be dissapointed by my standards of beauty.

I have many versions and you have sat ever so lightly on all but some.

I send a kiss to float down upon your troubled brow,

you have succeeded in inspiring me,

with your twister of twisted verse,

and i have found some deep beauty where others find perverse

hugss.

How my soul longs to hold

such poetic pearls within its atmosphere

To be free at will,

to cast them on to the masses

as some psudo manna from heaven

Hung on some ethereal frequency

Where  the lost wander aimlessly

Waiting for the Glistening words

To breathe new life into a phoenix

Rising from the ashes

In a sea of coalesced stars

To enrich my own.

Hauled over the back end of the bed
spread eagled and faced down,
plunging your **** deep inside
***** deep is when you decided to say I love you,
but you couldnt say it when I said it looking into your eyes
at my birthday dinner and June was there watching.

----------------

i flicked the toast over
buttered side to buttered side
just the way you liked it
it was a small thing
I didn't do anymore
you never said a word,
but you knew not to complain
It was the apartment in Brussels when I surprised you
I noticed the toast
and smell of her *** on your fingers.

-----------

She he pushed her stiletto heel into his **** as he both begged her not to and calling her god. She knew he liked it but it kind of left her feeling disappointed. She was rather hoping she was enough.

------------

******* are funny things
I usually forget all about them
excpt when you walk in the room
they just want to leap out and attach themselves to your mouth
clamouring for the privilege of being first.

--------------


your words are sharp and cruel
the sudsy sink hides the long blade clutched
slowly prying opening up a clamshell
your body is rude, imposing,
poking and prodding.
still I can't help but gasp as fingertips nuzzle into my crotch
anticipation of the violence used to free the tight hollow
but this time is different, somehow wary
gently tugged to the side, thumb caressing lips
Puckered crevices fill as soft nudges burn with warmth
gently deeper,
the handle clutched tighter trying to grasp on to anything solid
The veil now lifted you sink ******* leaving me with authority
i sudden shock wet lips on wet lips pulses of pleasure ripple
suddenly Im moving into you begging for more
smooth skin glides up my calf and inner thigh the knife released
to Shepard you in you resist mesmerized that the tables have turned so easily,
Finally with all the confidence of a tyrant you begin unleash yourself only you froze, pulled out and walked away.
For ***** sake! and I swore to my self I would drive that god ****** knife into your heart today. You *******! And just like that. The game just changed.

-------------------

Coffee for one again
usually there's two
so you must be ******
was it when I mentioned that name
yu know, when we were both writhing naked on the floor?
It was a simple comparison.
Why so sensitive?
It only happened once.

----------------

the jam sat on the table next to the tea and scones
eyes over easy we looked at each other as she pottered around looking for the cucumber for her sandwiches, she found it in an odd place
and served them as if she had served the queen. We ate them of course most satisfyingly as she harped on about what you did and didn't like
we both agreed we especially liked our cucumber sandwiches,
all the while with your hand in my thighs.

Another shafting
Blindsided
Another dagger in the heart
After you said you wouldnt
Followed by an endless period of waiting...
And for what? Another dagger?
Youre just like the rest.
Cant open your mouth to save me but oh so easilly it falls open to degrade me. And off you go like the most innocent thing in the world.
Heartless maybe, innocent? No. I've grown tired of the  blame game.
I need a truth. A love truer than your fickle betrayals.
You hurt too much and i cant afford you any longer
my sanity is as priceless as your shallow pride.
I find myself hanging on just to let go. You have failed me and the worst of it is you never even deserved the chance to try.

Kiss me light

Hold me gentle through the night

Keep me warm in your embrace

Kiss the tear tracks along my face

Eyelid to eyelid face to face

Tell me stories of the things we will

Give me peace and love me till

The sweet moon fades

And the harsh hints of sunrise

Tell me of your inevitable goodbye

Drawing with it all the air over the bye

Its only mercy a sliver of hope

Of the kisses so tender

In memories with which I must cope

And find you once again

Where the universe

In tenderly regard

Holds a place for lovers

To honour their vows

In the starlight haze

Lit by loves tender will

To bring each other home

And hopes beyond hopes fulfilled .

then you don't get the message.

its been fun.

but I gotta run.

this isn't as free thinking a place as I wanted it to be.

I know where I am from and where I am going.

see you when I get there.

the writing on the wall

says it all

if you need me My HP FRIENDS  you will know where to find me.

you would have looked beyond

the smallness of one thought

nothing is as dangerous as an idea when it is the only one you have.

don't worry I have far too many to ever be considered a real threat

till then I'll take a break and say adieu

my friends I will be back to read what you do

till then I offer my love and thoughts in lieu.

HugSS.

you can not confess what I have already drawn in words
you can not feel what I have inscripted on my soul
transferred into these pixels of light and dark.
they are not your notions they are mine
they bleed my name
and seep my ssoul.
and when you deconstruct them
and pile them up in a different order,
you can not erase me and call them your own mine
when my heart notes are stolen they call to me
and wish themselves home to me
and you who have stolen what can not be yours
will ever know that sprite of inspiration
shared generously with you is not yours
do not confuse it with intellect they are the seals on my soul
do what you will with them, but they are my heart scrolls
when heart notes are stolen they aren't like real kisses
deep and from your soul,
they are forced and devoid of meaning, with only superficial gain.
I want them all back under my breast back to their home,
each and every one under my heart felt seal of pain.

Another minute wasted, but savored
lets never leave from this place
it seems an eternity we Labored
To be here in this same space
together after chasing stars and comet tails
running rings around Saturns moons
under and through where the dark holes hail
over and under shifting desert dunes
Looking for me, looking for you
another minute wasted but savored
Now we dance along ultra violet tunes
but us, dastardly luck never favored
to the beat of our hearts croon
Once again We labored
looking for me, looking for you
the fabric of the universe once again tears
Nothing left but to rue
it seems it never cares
for me or for you
but hold tight love make this minute last
there’s nothing we can do
time seeps by so fast
loving me, loving you
Agape, we’ll find eachother again  
it’s what we were designed to do
I ache another minute through
kiss met love hold on
I promise I’ll find you
promise you’ll find me
lets take this one last breath
together in the same air
and as you’re torn away from me
know eventually I’ll be there
and now as you fade into another oblivion
I’m grateful for those minutes
wasted yet deeply savored
to sustain us
till we meet again.

Agony and delight

You swish past my mind at the most unseemly times

you plunge straight into my heart

pulling it down tight like an elastic band

and you finger it till I want to throw out some profanity

heart strings trigger fear and hate. loathing and love

I lose myself enmeshed amongst the layers of sanity[?]

I scrape the skin from under my nails hoping to find traces of you there.



I can not lie.

I can not confess

I dont understand this mess.

or you. or me. or us.

I crave and I misbehave

I miss and I dismiss

I feel and I reel

***** **** dust or

crimson lace and black love?



nonsense on top of nonsense

it never made sense

but it always felt right

it was never easy

always too hard to ignore



where are you now?

in every cell, in every memory

in every space, in every moment

a part of me

apart from me



love you.

miss you.

it is as simple as that

thats all there is and

all there ever will be.

this is you kind of weather,the early morning cool air,birds chiriping,your **** in my mouth

If there is no ingredient list, is it true that there is no informed consent?

Can anyone can force anyone in to being part of an experiment?

If someone monitoring  me is ongoing and no one has been told what and how long monitoring happens can a person ask for clear statement of what ongoing monitoring means? And if so will they be monitoring my every move?

If a person is forced and  signs up for the experiment is health insurance or even life insurance affected?

I may need it,
Will they even pay out?

Can people quit from being in a trial at any time?  

Can such a poison as labelled and described in the  emergency plan really be forced on to a person?

What exactly do I gain?  

-----------------------------
***? Are you serious? Who cares? Don't be so dramatic!
Just take the **** thing so people can shut up and stop judging you for not doing what ever it is they think you should be doing. Its a ****** cycle, it's life, get with the program!
_______

What if I just tell grandma I  don't want to taste her new recipe for brownies in front of everyone at the fair because I dont like her salty brownies they make me sick?
-----------------------------------

Ok kid, its your funeral.

the world can grow dark when we are weary

and the candle can seem so dim when we won't struggle to see anymore

and that fear that keeps you in your box tighltly locked

its isnt real. well, not all of it anyway

and when you stop and find yourself in a moment

choose what that moment will be

own it  form it control it. and the next one and the next

wear yourself a groove to safely traverse you way like a ****** in a dam

break those old habbits record over those old tapes

find new doors or build them and push through in every way

leave behind those that think they own your rights

walk away never looking back.

if they want you they will come find you

fill your heart with a mission

look around and find your passion

be bold

be brave

and never regret the steps you take on your way to your grave

only the ones that you didnt take

because no passion ever lived there.

beautiful lyrics caress the heart of the broken one

trust is a scarce resource wraith like it floats above the fear

love is the drug that conjures these madnesses

the notes play upon heart dances in beats caught off guard

the thud is never beautiful.

lyrics take over

they speak my soul

they endure

as I endure

the long lost

caress of your innocent game

finding myself the victim

no longer able to play

the lyrics move over me

and I send them as

consolation of the broken one.

here we are in the same morbid cycle
only theres a difference it seems.
now it is you who are scouring my effluences with your nose pegged
dancing around in the mess.

not fun is it?
no. no.
I wouldn't be so cruel to tease you all on top of it.
besides woudn't that make me just like you?

No. instead, I will just smile on the inside
arms folded with a feign look of concern botoxed on my face
wonder if by the time it wears off you all develop some tinge of compassion?

50 bucks says, none of you get it!


Sewage. Oh so important but, only when you realise **** isn't going anywhere.

I like because I like.
I follow because I really like the potential of your expression.
I don't and wont like to gain a following
I write for me.
I write for you.
You can see it if you want to.
I like and I never unlike because before I like
it has to be worthy.
I never like for likes sake,
I never like to be polite.
I never like it to be done to me
So only like if you would do unto me as I would do unto you;
Follow me as I follow you;
and save emotion and time in not having an action of mine
misconstrued.
Hugss.

You know how you **** me in tiny pieces

each molecule a more painful death.

I die a little each day to love you more

I lose all sense of understanding

acceptance is all there is

a slow sure death

a painful ride to heaven through hell

and there's no other way to go

not so easy when you have to stare your fate in the eye

watching yourself die

one molecule at a time

glad that it even happens at all.

Forever intended to circle but never trace the puckered skin of my aching lips

Untasted you take away from all that is beauty as my mind chooses unwitting ly to coalesce upon the ghost of you

There is no life sufferable without you in it, no cause too great to overcome yet there is a flaw,

For our loves gain double an equal measure must be afforded lost, For there in lives its worth. Oh my dearest love,  as selfish as I pray I need to be, can only reek of compassion thus,

You **** me softly every smile, every soulful look, every sweet word veiled with bitterness

an aquired taste for those addicted to love's misdirection

The outline for my sweet destructon,

And you my favourite design.

The knife sat embedded in the cheese
the figs sliced open and offering themselves up
you walked out and left me holding the wine
it was good cheese, good wine
I'm still trying figure
exaclty when you got ******.
was it the figs?
*******.

the air silent with the memory



the images remain



there was once life and hell here



something of description filled the space



children chattering and making noise



always breaking something



neighbours yelling across the way



angy taxi drivers honking their horns



mothers hurrying to the market with their children



not a sound above the wind travels through here now.



no lonely pup begging for food



no children with tear stained faces awaiting charity.



no putrid smells of the unwashed ablusions



no rats crawling through the spaces



nothing.



even the rubble gives no clues to what was here



not one tangible identifyable piece of life or living



if only it would all come back, every stinking bit of it,



but it cant. not even God can fix it.



we lost our way.

This cold place reminds me of you.
The icicles hovering precariously overhead. No fire to warm me no arm to protect me.
Just staligmightes of tears rising to your falling fears.
Theres never enough salt.

Folder: OBSERVATIONS...
its the morning wake up ritual at is mediocrity

you want to sleep in

I want to run along side the birds

I boil the kettle it hums as you snore

I wish I had your company

you wish you had more time

we dont fit together well

but we're okay today because at least we both woke up in the same place

although we dont ever understand why.

I've died a thousand cruel deaths

at the mercy of your heart



**** me softly,

**** me with thunder

hollow me out

or let me waste away.



**** me with

that forked tounge,

Those piercing eyes,

and lump of ice in your chest.



You take my vanity,

You steal my warmth

and tear my sanity.



Go ahead

**** the rest

what does it matter?



You've proved a thousand times

I am unworthy of your best.



Pain is mandatory

more deaths and reserections

to come.



Yet, hope against hope

I still wish I could find

your ****-switch.

I am lost in our neverness
this world is to tight to live in.
so close, I can reach out to touch you;
so far, I can never get close enough.
a flash of a smile,
a warm look ,
trading a million secrets in our eyes...
I live for such moments that come so rare
yet, every second, every heartbeat
counts down to you.

Oh Im tired of trying not to offend.
speaking diplomactically till the end
well if you arent offending anybody you havent stood up for anything
silence is deafening so are the words you want them to hear.
shout it out to the world
the biggest '*******!' ever heard!

---------

******* terrorists here and ******* terrorists there
whatever. Call yourself a religious man? I see a  devious zelot holding hands unwittingly with the devil.sure did a number on your *****.
whatever.
Call yourself a Cop? I see a sadistic ****** **** I;ve seen more competence and less violence in a shopping mall guard. Power got you tripping up and all over.
whatever.
Call yourself a mother? pimping your baby daughters out strung out on some **** and like its all you got.
whatever.
Call yourself a father? leering at your brothers daughter? invading your sisters son?
whatever
Call yourself a human being walking past all those people you could have helped? sat in your comfortable home and uncomfortable shoes recounting your dramas.
whatever.

Call yourself an angry hurt teenager? grow the **** up! put the knife in the sink and do some ******* dishes, put the gun back where it belongs and go out and play in the sun. take your fantasy ******* for what it is nothing its all  whatever.

**** it up and **** it in. pour yourself out and start giving. giving something whatever just make it something ******* nice for ***** sake

Im standing up for the truth you can do something if you want but whatever.

lost in the darkness of your missing
I watch the stars wink as if it's all ok
endless seconds drawl by
lethargic, spiritless
a complete antithesis to my eager waiting
the door  does not herald your lively eyes
that hand does not warmly reach for me
that warmth does not envelop me

the soul that sustains me
calls my eyes up to the heavens
a genltle reminder that you are waiting
I wait the endless seconds in unpassed time
thankful at least, there are enough stars

there are no more words

there are not enough reasons

there is no time

there is only life

and it is catching me by the heels and tossing me about

the thing to do is not apparent

so i fumble groping for hope as I stumble and crash into things

maybe I will find something to grab onto if I have the strength to hold on.