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I know you won't take me back
Perhaps you can't forgive
But this is what I wish for you
For as long as you may live

I wish you every sunny day
And starry starry nights
I wish you laughter once again
I wish you love and light.

I wish you every color
In rainbow waterfalls
I wish you greatest beauty
On your mountain tall.

I wish you every syllable
Of every love song penned
I hope you find another girl
That you love again.

I mean this completely
My lost and onetime man
I'd give you everything i own
I'd give you all I AM.

I really hope you read this
You do not turn your eyes
I really did the best for you
At least I didn't lie.

Please read my poems to you
Be well my dearest heart
I will bow out gracefully
On this note I will part

You will, in time forgive me
If only for your sweet mind
For you have a heart of
Purest gold
You are just that kind.

Just remember that I love you
This I would instill
I love you with all my heart
And I always will.
All the best
Catherine
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
W. H. Auden
Anthropos apteros for days
Walked whistling round and round the Maze,
Relying happily upon
His temperment for getting on.

The hundredth time he sighted, though,
A bush he left an hour ago,
He halted where four alleys crossed,
And recognized that he was lost.

"Where am I?" Metaphysics says
No question can be asked unless
It has an answer, so I can
Assume this maze has got a plan.

If theologians are correct,
A Plan implies an Architect:
A God-built maze would be, I'm sure,
The Universe in minature.

Are data from the world of Sense,
In that case, valid evidence?
What in the universe I know
Can give directions how to go?

All Mathematics would suggest
A steady straight line as the best,
But left and right alternately
Is consonant with History.

Aesthetics, though, believes all Art
Intends to gratify the heart:
Rejecting disciplines like these,
Must I, then, go which way I please?

Such reasoning is only true
If we accept the classic view,
Which we have no right to assert,
According to the Introvert.

His absolute pre-supposition
Is - Man creates his own condition:
This maze was not divinely built,
But is secreted by my guilt.

The centre that I cannot find
Is known to my unconscious Mind;
I have no reason to despair
Because I am already there.

My problem is how not to will;
They move most quickly who stand still;
I'm only lost until I see
I'm lost because I want to be.

If this should fail, perhaps I should,
As certain educators would,
Content myself with the conclusion;
In theory there is no solution.

All statements about what I feel,
Like I-am-lost, are quite unreal:
My knowledge ends where it began;
A hedge is taller than a man."

Anthropos apteros, perplexed
To know which turning to take next,
Looked up and wished he were a bird
To whom such doubts must seem absurd.
I can draw different pictures ,but                                                                               From where should I start ?                                                                                      I can draw with a pencil                                                                                              As a reminder that I can do something ...                                                                  I can draw pictures ,but                                                                                              In my mind this time ...                                                                                              I can draw with my eyes ,but                                                                                     Through different sights ...                                                                                         My drawings vary from                                                                                             One thing to another ...
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
MIA
Prayer
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
MIA
I pray my secret won't see the light
I pray my shadow stays hidden from sight
Smile, laugh and pretend as I might
The darkness always comes along with the night
So each night I pray, I pray with my might
I pray for more days with my false delight
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
Rhianecdote
Go with God?
But *who
is God to me?
Would you have me walk
side by side with a stranger?

Walk with the Lord?
No.
I run and I run free,
spirit and its not holy.
Besides he doesn't Walk with me

The Lord is my shepherd?
But I'm no sheep.
I belong to no flock
I long to be heard
so I stand independently.

Go to God?
I did in my time of need
but his churches gates
were closed to me,
shunned on steps seeking sanctuary
and yet it gave me the clarity
I needed to move on in life.
In seeking solace
I found growth
in the solitary, ironically.

I found a certain kind
of serenity wash over me
in rejection
an epiphany even.

That I Can't trust in God
cause I no longer
believe in He
who I cannot see,
who I can no
longer hear speak.

And it's not a matter
of right or wrong
my faith has taken me
down a different path.
Where I need to learn
to put trust in the fallacy
of human beings
of people,
of you and me.

And maybe just maybe...
that was his plan all along.
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
SW
Human
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
SW
I am not afraid to die.
Maybe it is because
The effort of existing is
Expanding my lungs exponentially
And when they explode,
I will deflate
But I have come to terms
With the fact that
What goes up, must come down.

You wrote to me,
"Do you like being human?"
And I said,
"What else is there?"

I do not believe in God.
God does not believe in me.

I want to carry my mortality
Close to me
To hear it collide with the loose change in my pocket
To check to see if it is still there
When the sun trades places with the moon
And my father smells like coffee.

I like the feeling of
Smoke igniting my throat
Because then I can convince myself
It is only the tobacco
That is eating me from the inside out.

I do not want to be immortal,
The thrill of being alive is that
It is a privilege.

Why do you want to be God?
You will know evil,
My god, you will know evil.
There is no cure,
Not even you
Not even you
But that is okay because
Nothing is good, if everything is good
Nothing is good
Nothing is good.

Let me feel your humanity,
I want to feel
You.
Tell me, do you like being human?
Tell me, what else is there?
And if I could ever write a poem that would embody
Your love
i swear
I would

but

Whenever I'd try to write You down
And immortalize You through words
I end up with a blank page staring at me
Because my words do not give justice
To the beauty of You and Your creation
 Feb 2015 Syeduhhhhh
epictails
Lost, stumbling in the dark,
I struggled for Your light
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