I don't cry myself to sleep anymore
I wish I still did .
You were once my everything
I don't know how to deal with you being,
a distant memory,
someone that is no longer her.

She wanted him.

Not the him who calls after midnight
from a diner off the freeway
Because he doesn't work for another 12 hours and if she wants to have dinner with him this week
she'll come

But the him who drinks coffee with her in the morning before work
after their alarm told them
they'd slept tangled in each other,
again.

My stomach drops
My heart stops
And starts again
And stops again
Unsteady beating
My skin is peeling
My face is stinging
My hands are clinging
To anything that feels real
I'm breathing sharp air
My lungs feel heavy
My eyelids pulsate to a steady beat
I can feel every single drop of blood course through my veins
My stomach tightens
My fingers ache
I can't describe how this feels
Just please hold me until it's over

For something that's supposed to be the greatest thing in the world,
love sure hurts like a *****.

My life is a city street
and you
were my favorite
red light.

I bloom in front of you,
open and flourish under my own sun.
Yet you,
don't stop and watch anymore.

Under finger and thumb,
I stretch ever so delicately with hope.
yet you,
aren't accustomed to this shade of green.

Stretching upwards,
I wish on stars that make me feel insignificant in a greater world.
Yet you,
refuse to believe I am magic.

I cry tears of pure sadness,
watching life grow where they fall.
Yet you,
can't appreciate the simplicity of my nature.

I pour my soul into you,
intimacy in over flow and heart swollen.
Yet you,
can't see that I have begun growing roots.

To quit writing would
be like going through a breakup
I could never recover from.

December
and anyone in the
woods could see the five
idiots on the back deck.

wrapped in blankets
and circled up like
Indians who drink cranberry
Canada Dry ginger ale.

Saturday afternoon
empty house
i wish i felt
different.

sunshine flickering
through the steam between
my fingers and over the
furry blanket.

i've always liked looking
out the back windshield
with swollen eyes at
what i'm leaving behind.

home again and
nothing is different
it's just i've
gotten worse.

and i'm crying
when it hits me
i'm finally
alone.

but i have a
blanket to wrap
myself up in
so everything's fine.