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I think you should love a girl that writes
Live her many different imagined lives
In her vast collections of created worlds
Find her somewhere buried beneath them all
And when you find her pressed between
Scribbled pages and coffee cups filled with pens
Kiss her ink black fingers
Let them stain your lips so when she looks at you
She won’t forget
You’re the hero her books are about.
I once had loved a man
It was suicide they say
For this man had a plan
To come but never stay.

But never did I listen
Never did I heed
My whole heart was given
To him who never did.
Oh, I have sown my love so wide
That he will find it everywhere;
It will awake him in the night,
It will enfold him in the air.

I set my shadow in his sight
And I have winged it with desire,
That it may be a cloud by day,
And in the night a shaft of fire.
Living with anxiety
And depression,
It's feeling too much
And nothing at all.
Which means feeling
Like you can never win.

But you can.
And you will.
**You're not alone!
Copyright © irsorai
16/10/2015
I hate that you look at the galaxies
and are overwhelmed with a feeling of
dull insignificance,
because if anything,
you are not just a speck of dust scattered in the cosmos.
you are the very substance
that this universe is thrilled to be written about.
you are its incandescent gas,
you are nuclear fission,
you are a galaxy's lifeline,
it's reason to celebrate living in the darkness,
baby, your every breath is intergalactic motivation,
that if you were to stop smiling
I'm almost certain that a star dies as well.
and in the magnitude of spectacular phenomena this universe will never cease to offer,
somewhere out there,
I promise someone notices.
some late night mind ****, so raw, so rough.
I don't sleep.
My heart is too restless,
it's been pounding out your name.
So I lie awake next to lovers
I don't love,
pretending I don't taste our forgotten promises
in their mouths.
I act like their strange hands
don't leave fists in my gut,
and I'm not really choking
on their unfamiliar tongues.
No, my eyes don't burn
when they close theirs,
and in the morning
yes, I slept fine.
But I'm just pretending.
My heart was racing all night,
beneath sheets we never shared,
trying to forget your name.
 Oct 2015 Mikka Ann Cabangon
Ciel
Sometimes the world hands you moments.
Quiet moments,
Like lonely late night bus rides,
Where everyone is drooping in their seats
After long days at work.
Like hospital waiting rooms,
Where people are too tense,
Mouths clenched shut,
Only opening their mouths to whisper
Words of prayer.
Like early Sunday mornings,
When family is sleeping in,
And you lie alone
With your thoughts
Your body still too heavy to get out of bed
Like trying to run through water.
These small moments,
These little gifts can be wonderful,
Until the loud silence
Leads your mind to dark places
Filled with the wild hushed voices
You've always tried so hard
to keep untouched and noiseless,
Like you do late buses
Or waiting rooms
Or being awake early Sunday mornings.
But your thoughts drift towards them
And reach through the gaps,
Pulling and tugging at the monsters
And creatures you've tried so hard
To stuff away in the little boxes
In the corners of your brain,
Piled with forgotten toys and old socks
All of them covered in a thick layer of dust.
They've clawed out too quickly
For you to stop the probing fingers,
And suddenly you're trying hard
To stop tears from flowing,
But it's like trying to stop water from flowing
Out the gaps between your fingers,
You have no choice but to wait
Until there's no more water left to flow,
Or the bus ride is over
Or the doctor calls you over
Or you can't wait anymore
And you just have to get up
And go somewhere where the voices can
No longer be heard.
"I need space" she said
And took away, in her eyes,
My whole universe.
haikus after a hiatus
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