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450 · Jan 2015
Guy Friends
Some Person Jan 2015
Let me tell you what it is
You have friendships with guys
Because you're not boy crazy
You're down to earth
And a girl
It's called maturity
And while it may not pay off
By landing you the perfect mate
You have genuine friendships with men
Which is more than most girls ever get
449 · Nov 2014
Kiss
Some Person Nov 2014
How many more times
Will I watch a guy **** two girls
Before I kiss one I love?
448 · Oct 2016
Hey, Doggy
Some Person Oct 2016
Hey, doggy
I'm gonna be your friend for while, okay?
I think your mom is beautiful,
But she doesn't really like me
That's okay, though
I'm doing this for you
I just want to make sure you're okay
While your mom is gone
Even though she's just using me
Good boy
441 · Jun 2015
Late night bullshit
Some Person Jun 2015
I go to bed alone every night
Am I as worthwhile as I think,
Or is there something wrong with me?

I have a good career,
I'm decent-looking at least,
I can make love or ****;
Whatever suits our mood
And I don't do so recklessly;
At least not often

I'm in a city of a couple million
One would think I could find
Just one

But I will tell you:
Dating is boring
Partying is fun,
Albeit a bit empty

Texting can only go so far
Touch me and I may recoil
Like me and it'll be too easy
Do drugs and you'll seem too wild
Be clean and you're a *****

So I come back to you,
My droves of women who are always game,
But never satisfy
Perhaps fantasy is better than reality
Or perhaps you should all burn in hell
439 · Apr 2018
Cohesion
Some Person Apr 2018
The longing for things that will never be
The knowledge that we'll be taken before we're done
Disappointment in ourselves
Resignation to sadness
Belief in pointlessness
The lack of energy to be angry at things that are wrong
Inability and/or unwillingness to change

Writing down depressing things and never turning them into a cohesive piece

Self-fulfilling prophecy
438 · Nov 2014
A Night In (short story)
Some Person Nov 2014
He took hold of her hand and turned it over to look at her thumb, where a little sore could be seen from her picking at it nervously. She balled her hand into a fist, hiding the sore inside.

"Don't look at that," she let out squeamishly.

"Why not?"

"Because it's gross, and it's bad right now."

"It's okay. It's not gross."

Something in the way she spoke about it stirred him. Whenever he heard pain, embarrassment, or shame in her voice, he was compelled by a desire to see her healed. He found her vulnerability to be beautiful, even when it revealed what others might consider a flaw.

He used a bit of force to pry her hand open so he could see. She resisted at first, but gave in, knowing she wouldn't win the fight. Two small, partially-scabbed indentations ran parallel across the inside of her thumb. He gently grazed the tip of his own thumb over them. It was a little worse than usual.

"Why is it bad?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"I've kind of been through a lot recently," she said half-jokingly.

"Yeah. You have."

He ran his thumb over the sores again. He took his eyes off them, held her hand in his, and began to caress it.

"Want to know something?" he asked.

"What?"

"You are really beautiful."

"Oh, stop."

"I'm serious. And I don't care about your sores. I mean I care about them, but they don't repel me. They just show me a little bit about you. They remind me of things."

"Like what?"

He continued to glide his fingers up and down the length of her own.

"Like they remind me to be gentle with you. That the things I say and do affect you, and if I say or do certain things, I can hurt you. I don't want to make your sores worse. I don't want to be the one making you anxious."

Instead of getting in a little joke that would make light of what he was saying, she sat silently, just hearing him speak. She watched his hand adjust to where their palms and fingers lined up with each others', as if he wanted to compare their size.

"And they remind me of what's going on with you. Whether it's work, family, friends, whatever. They just bring those things to mind and make me think about you."

He intertwined his fingers with hers and pulled her closer on the couch, still caressing her hand. She began to do the same in return.

As she considered what he'd said, all her problems came to mind. Just like he mentioned: work, a broken family, painful relationships, and things in the past she didn't like to think about, though she had more or less come to terms with them. Why would someone like him want to deal with all that? She wondered why he loved her.

"I think you love my problems," she said half in jest, though she really was trying to understand what was behind his feelings.

He pondered the comment. He was accustomed to a woman who rarely admitted fault. The problem with this wasn't so much that she wouldn't admit her faults, though. The problem was the attitude of superiority, of entitlement, of believing in her own relative perfection and demanding perfection in return.

The woman whose hand he held, though, had an aura of graceful humility about her. What a breath of fresh air. Now he was with someone he was eager to offer himself to, who could accept him in his flawed state, and who could accept the good in him as a gift to her, though she questioned whether she deserved it.

"I don't love your problems. It's not about them. It's your response to them. It's how kind and caring of a person you are in spite of the things you've been through. It doesn't hurt that we've been able to connect through some similar experiences, but in the end, that's not it. It's your heart that I love."

She took it in. They had become friends quicker than anyone she could remember. Somehow, things had just clicked for them, and they got to know the deepest parts of one another over the course of a few months. The progression from friends to more-than-friends came naturally.

She was still getting used to the way he treated her, but she knew it was sweet. As she reflected, she began to wonder if there really was something as wonderful about her heart as he seemed to believe.

He gave her a squeeze with his arm around her back. She turned toward him and rested her head just below his shoulder on his chest. He kissed her on the forehead, then on the cheek, and then on the lips.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm good."
Hopefully it's okay to post short stories, first time I've posted one on here.
431 · May 2015
Promoter
Some Person May 2015
She's a promoter
I finally met her
Already forgot her name
But her look
Speared me
Is this why she's successful?
431 · Jan 2017
Colors
Some Person Jan 2017
You can't erase me from your past
So I wonder
What colors will you choose
to paint the me that was
430 · Jan 2015
Chain Reaction
Some Person Jan 2015
What if our thoughts are completely out of our control, and we only think what's next in line based on the natural progression in our chemistry and the electrical impulses firing in our brain?

Could anyone be called a sinner?
Could you judge men's souls then?
428 · Nov 2014
M
Some Person Nov 2014
M
I'm sorry, M,
but you've just met
an unhealthy man

Being in your line of
work, you could probably
find a diagnosis if you tried
Instead of hour-long
sessions, you'll see it
after weeks of just
hanging out and talking

If you're good with
body language,
you may already
have some idea
that not everything is
wonderful inside me
And as time goes by,
I'll reveal my story
and what goes on within

You are free to choose,
as am I;
I do not know
if you're right for me
And I'm also reluctant
to make that decision
because I am so lonely
I could imagine you
to be broken as well
Being hard of hearing,
I'm sure,
comes with difficulty

But I need a connection
I need a soft-hearted girl
One who can absorb me
And I don't know
if that's someone you can be
428 · Aug 2015
Just a movie
Some Person Aug 2015
I know it was just a movie, and the scenes and the music tug strings in ways we don't always feel in everyday life. But I'm not crying about the movie. I'm crying because you're here with me and I'm thinking about you. I'm crying because I feel the same way about you that he feels about her, and I want you to know that and to never forget it. And because I don't want it to end. I don't want our lives to end, and I know they will someday. Maybe I'll feel differently somehow when we're aged and we don't have all this energy anymore. Maybe I'll be ready for my life to end when I'm old and slow and sick and I can barely breathe, or my whole body aches all the time and someone has to take care of me like I'm a baby again. But I don't think I'll ever be ready to stop loving you.
427 · Nov 2014
The Observatory
Some Person Nov 2014
Recorded off the cuff: https://soundcloud.com/user4081486/the-observatory

...You remember doing that with me?
Sitting on the couch or just standing around
Watching TV
Playing darts
You remember talking about shooting stars?
The size of the universe
Where we came from
Where we'll go once we're dead
Dead...hard to accept, but we'd talk about it
You had your views and I had mine
I found yours to be beautiful
And remember how I wanted to take you
To the observatory?
I never got to take you on that date
I doubt if anyone ever will
But I wanted to see you look at the stars
Or look at the planets with your own eyes
Just how you'll do
After you die
426 · Jun 2015
I hate you
Some Person Jun 2015
I'm afraid even if
you stared me in the face,
I'd miss it,
or if I did see who you are,
I'd still hate you

The thoughts that have
conjured in my mind
these last two years,
and the feelings that have
transpired in my chest,
have left me to hate you

Yes, even you,
the imagined one I desire

You've got it all, somehow
Yet you will disappear
So I choose to hate you
Instead of losing you
425 · May 2015
Listen
Some Person May 2015
Do you want to hear the music I'm listening to today?

Would you like to hear how I feel about drugs?

I'll tell you what keeps me awake at night

About my divorce, addiction,
one-night stands, non-
breakups that destroyed me,
and whatever else is tattered inside

You can hear it in my tone:
that I don't like myself
And, sure, I'll tell you with my voice

And your heart will call out for mine

But it can't hear you
And it won't speak to you
424 · Aug 2015
Just Friends
Some Person Aug 2015
It's ironic
that the only way
to get close
is by starting out
"no strings"

Let's just ****
because we have
intimacy issues
and insecurity

After we're done,
I'll tell you everything,
and you can tell me
why everything's okay

I'll hold your hand
and tell you
I won't hurt you
the way he did

I can't, after all;
We're just friends
423 · Dec 2014
My Heart
Some Person Dec 2014
My heart beats
with a murmur
Its unsteady nerves
store anxiety:
confusion,
uncertainty,
self-loathing,
and depression
Occasionally,
it goes into
convulsions
as I feel the fallout
of the unhealthy
things I do,
and I wonder
whether anything
I'm doing in life
is right
Drinking, drugs,
staying up all night,
thinking with my ****
I just hope
one of these
heart attacks
I've been having
either wakes me up
or kills me,
because this
is no way
to live my life
422 · Feb 2015
Parallel
Some Person Feb 2015
In some parallel universe,
I hope when you broke up,
I invited you over and said,
listen to my voice, pretty girl,
and listen to my eyes
You gave it your best
and he tossed you to the wind
Here I am for you;
I never left
It's up to you, of course,
but I won't take you for granted
Won't you be mine, pretty girl?
And in this universe,
you said yes
416 · Nov 2014
Friday Night
Some Person Nov 2014
Friday night,
I got high
and watched an old film:
The Neverending Story

So many simple shots
and scenes
played back in my memory
at the exact time they
were displayed on screen
It was beautiful
I smiled fondly
as I remembered them all

Then one shot came into view
One I don't recall
Something simple—
People running across a field

And I bawled

This is The Neverending Story
Yet,
we all die

I bawled
Some Person May 2015
All the music you loved made my heart ache
The classic rock anthems,
Dead singers with vintage sound
Drew in my mind the parties of old
Days gone by, couples who've passed
Drugs they did,
Ignorance they spewed;
Peace is lovely,
But life is more complicated
Than your small, narrow mind

But I went on
I tried to fall in love
And I succeeded
In poisoning myself without drugs
Poison, your ex's word that stuck in your mind
But my poison wasn't you;
It was falling in love...
With a gentle heart,
A pair of pretty eyes,
Soft skin and soft touch,
A smile and a laugh

No, it was the music you loved
I hated it in my heart
I despised what it glorified
I am too empty,
And too mindful thereof,
For it to fill me

And I will wake up to that truth soon enough
With the music I now love
I'm getting bored already
When I don't have any drugs
411 · Mar 2015
You're so special
Some Person Mar 2015
You think the only way to be
is devoid of emotion
even in the face of tragedy,
so long as the tragedy isn't yours

I'm sorry,
I'm just not a ******* like you
Some Person Mar 2015
She was five foot five, skinny, soft face
A strange guy hovering about,
But she responded
Palms together as we moved
Hands on waists
But her lips evaded,
Wouldn't look my way
The guy commented,
I like watching you dance,
You're cute
Something was off
But I danced on ahead
The time came
For them to take their leave
He handed me a card
Massage parlor
Not a happy ending
406 · Feb 2015
Scared yet?
Some Person Feb 2015
How can I show
more of myself to you?
What can I show you
to scare you off?
Pervert,
**** at work,
****** addiction rehab,
12-step drop-out,
faith-lost
skeptical mind,
more like cynical
say one thing,
do another;
as confused about me
as you are

And I'm almost out there
first step,
bare all in anonymous groups
second step,
peel back the layers among friends
third step (two forward, one back),
mostly anonymous pouring out the heart
through my poetry in the dark
fourth step,
fully open among all?

I was laughed at the other day
upon sharing my experience with addiction
It didn't really offend me
am I almost ready?
404 · Jan 2015
Girls
Some Person Jan 2015
There's a handful of girls, my type,
at this party tonight
And I have one message for them,
one and all:

*******
401 · Dec 2014
The Sweetest Spot
Some Person Dec 2014
I wanted to write
about that sweet spot
the lowest part of
a woman's back
where my hand rests
after making love
where I trace my palm
up and down
that same perfect curve
over and over
my favorite place

But here I am again
again and again
full of anxiety
your trespasses
firmly rooted
in my mind
my heart
still can't
understand what
happened to it
so I make this "art"
instead
394 · Apr 2015
Fantasy
Some Person Apr 2015
It takes everything I have
to write my thoughts
and leave them as they are.
The truth is they're messy,
and my feelings are messier.

The glass jar I drink from
would make for some kind of release
if I threw it at the wall
with the energy I use to write.
And I think about doing so frequently.

Violence against the walls in my house
has become a more pervasive fantasy than ***.
It's been a few weeks since I destroyed my dresser.
I'm not sure the writing provides the same outlet.
Some Person Feb 2015
I danced
and I saw you there
You were on your phone
like I often am
I danced around
You noticed me,
but I acted like
I didn't notice you
You just lost your best friend
two months ago
I think I nearly cried
You said you're okay now;
you've dealt with a lot of death
I said it's a big fear of mine
You said you don't see why
you should fear
something you can't control
I kissed you
I found out you smoke cigarettes
I didn't care
I put my arm around you
Your friends were cool
I texted you
I hope I hear from you
Oh, there it is
You agree I was fun to talk to :)
392 · Jan 2017
Can't
Some Person Jan 2017
There are nights I do things I can do
There are nights I do things I can't
Tonight I did something I can't
388 · Jan 2015
Sober
Some Person Jan 2015
I went to a show sober
and I feel worse
at the end of this night
than I normally do,
but I guess at least it's real
388 · Apr 2015
Shopping for t-shirts
Some Person Apr 2015
Designers illustrate
and put words I don't want to say
Why don't you just create motion
and emotion;
feeling through colors
and shapes,
all unrecognizable,
except inside me
382 · Dec 2014
For Sarah Bradford
Some Person Dec 2014
You can spin
in place
for as long
as you choose,
and pretend
things that aren't
are actually true

You can replace
who you want
with another,
but he'll never
know you

Your heart
lies here,
in your many
softly-spoken
words

Unless you can
share them ALL,
in time,
with the man you
give yourself to,
he cannot truly be
the man for you
Written for someone on another site.
382 · May 2015
Not my type
Some Person May 2015
I'm not interested in you
I'm interested in girls who
Show off their body
Because they want you
To need their soul
379 · Jan 2015
Laying Together
Some Person Jan 2015
Do you remember
how you gave yourself to me-
the simple act of resting your head
on my bare chest
Your hair wasn't perfect anymore,
and neither was mine
But what we'd just done meant nothing
All significance was held
in the way your arm laid across me
I was strong, wasn't I?
You were safe, weren't you?
Did my fear of losing you
scare you away?
379 · Nov 2014
Making Love
Some Person Nov 2014
I'm going to make love to you,
Okay?
You can look in my eyes
You can run your fingers through my hair
You can open your lips
And feel my kiss
You can remember what it was like
When we were once together
I'm going to make love to you,
And then I'm going to cry
Okay?
378 · Mar 2015
The Abyss
Some Person Mar 2015
I stop on my way through the kitchen. Something about the floor is appealing. A week ago, a dozen people stood there chattering and drinking. The ones who didn't care for dancing in the basement. Today, the floor is empty. It's well-lit. It's hard. It's a bit *****, but not repulsive. I stand still for half a minute, looking down at it. I want to lay down there. I don't know how I would situate myself, but I want to lay with my chest on the floor. It makes me sad to think of myself there, but it seems just right at the same time. It looks like home. I consider how no one would know. I appear in people's lives every day, and then I disappear into my car and drive off to some abyss from which I'll reappear tomorrow. I wonder how many men have moments like these. I think about family, and how at funerals we talk about what he was like, how kind-hearted, how funny, and how everyone will miss him. But we don't talk about this moment. We don't even know this moment occurred, because it took place in the abyss.
375 · Jan 2015
Nights
Some Person Jan 2015
I blast music
I smoke drugs
I groove
Not to celebrate
Not to have a good time
Not even to escape
But because
it's the only
way I know of
to get
in touch
with how I feel
373 · Nov 2014
Home Intrusion
Some Person Nov 2014
I hear creaks and cracks
as I fall asleep,
and I wonder
if someone broke in

But the chance
a ninja is sneaking
in here,
I think,
is very slim
372 · Feb 2015
Still Beautiful
Some Person Feb 2015
Your name
is more of a trigger
than your face
370 · Nov 2014
Mankind
Some Person Nov 2014
And, once this over,
Mankind's sprawling about the Earth
Flying from one end to the other
Making love
Waging war
Some feeding the hungry
Others ignoring the poor,
Who will look back at us
And say anything ever happened here?
368 · Nov 2014
An Email
Some Person Nov 2014
I'm sorry for the email
My desperate-sounding contact
I didn't know you're in a relationship now
I didn't know
I wanted to believe my words might not be unwanted
I wanted to believe I was special to you
I always wanted to know that
I wanted to know it meant something to you
That I knew you better than anyone ever has
I wanted to know that you could see who I am
That you could see my heart
And that you loved it
That it's different from other hearts
That it pumps blood full of passion
For what's right
For feeling alive
For connecting with depth unheard of
And for you
I wanted you to love that I was into you
And to do it in your own way
Your own silent way
A casual understanding that this was the good life
That you'd made out by being loved this way
And that life is going to be good
I'm sorry for the email
I know now I'm not wanted
368 · Apr 2015
I do love you, poets
Some Person Apr 2015
I only read out of a sense of longing
It never fulfills
So I read less and less
Of the poets I love
I love less and less
Of the people I know
Of people I knew
Of myself
I hate more
The walls need
to have holes stomped in them
My grammar and structure
Need to go **** themselves
You need to listen
And quit being a *******
And I need to call Papa
He's my favorite man
We haven't talked for months
When he dies,
That's when I'll do the stomping
I'll be more alone
Even though he barely knows me
366 · Feb 2015
Spike
Some Person Feb 2015
My dad, though he would not be my dad for two years, was left alone outside the newly-vacant hospital room
A cart stood inside, unmoved since my mother's bed was rolled away
He could not follow her, but his mind had not left what lay on the cart since her departure anyway
He was not supposed to do this, but there was no choosing otherwise
He entered the room and approached
A white towel lay over a small metal pan resting upon the cart
He reached down and pulled the towel away
His son
Tiny, not entirely formed, but human
His name was Spike
My name is Spike, too
He must have only been a pound or two
My dad loved him
And I love him, too
My brother,
I hope someday I'll meet you
366 · Nov 2014
some of my thoughts
Some Person Nov 2014
I recorded this off the cuff.

http://youtu.be/btVqiO-hgPI

I just want you to know
that
I think about you all the time
and
it doesn't matter what music's playing
I write lyrics to that song
and it's always about you
It's not always love
Sometimes it's pain
Most of the time it's pain
It's regret
about the way I handled
everything that happened
It's about
Wishing that I'd been stronger
It's about
Wishing that
I'd been able to keep it
in my ******* pants
It's about wishing
that I could just be your friend
And let things start over again
It's about wishing that
you'd have wanted to move
a few miles
instead of across half the country
to a state that I know you don't
want to live in
except for him
But it's always about you
I always think about you
366 · Apr 2015
Someday
Some Person Apr 2015
Someday,
I'll retire where it rains and storms,
and I'll sit out on the back porch
with the girl I love
and watch the lightning strike,
and we'll find out
how powerless we are,
and how beautiful it is to see
the silhouette
of a mountain tree

For now, I'd rather imagine
and write about that day,
even as electricity
lights the sky before me

I long for you, my beauty,
The one who will put
the rest of creation
in its place
363 · Dec 2014
Put Together
Some Person Dec 2014
I don't need an adventure every time we hang out
I don't need you to be a genius
You don't need to be completely put together
You're allowed to be unhappy

You can look me in the eye
And say you had a rough day
You can collapse into my arms
And I'll love you all the more
362 · Nov 2014
Views
Some Person Nov 2014
I always check my account
to see how many likes I got
on a poem I wrote
But sometimes,
just knowing a few people
even viewed it
and know that I'm hurt,
which is usually what I write about,
even if they don't care,
is kind of...good, I guess.
It's hard to believe there's
something like 6500 views
on all my poems combined...
hard to imagine all those experiences
of different people
with different minds
experiencing what I wrote in some way
even if they just read a few lines
and moved on for good
I wonder who all of you are
361 · Dec 2014
Thought Redirection
Some Person Dec 2014
She comes to mind frequently,
and normally runs roughshod over me
I recognized, thanks to a friend,
that these thoughts are not helpful or productive
I can go down that route a thousand times,
and I have,
but it doesn't matter how much time I spend;
it will always be a dead end

I don't yet know what to think instead,
so now when she comes to mind,
I see what's happening,
I sit in a state of moderate confusion,
knowing I don't want to go there,
but not sure what else to do
I suppose there's still plenty of healing ahead,
but here's to another step
A lot of stuff I pretty much just write for therapy. It's not pretty or anything, but it's real, and I hope someone might identify.
358 · Nov 2014
I Explore Her
Some Person Nov 2014
Into the universe of her heart,
I explored like mankind
I launched into her space
For the very first time

I landed on her moon
And took a first step
I planned a trip to her Mars
I'll see her Titan next

What will I find
Among the galaxies of her soul
The unending thrill of wonder;
Beauty unspeakable

With a sand grain of searching,
My heart is awakened
I consider her vastness;
My breath is taken
357 · Feb 2015
Come In Close
Some Person Feb 2015
I want you
to make
eye contact
with me,
to move
toward me,
to reach
down
with your hand
and take
mine,
roll your
head
to the side,
give me
your best
kiss me look
where you
bite your
bottom lip,
and when I
come in close
and we're
about to lock lips,

I stop

and tell you to *******
353 · Mar 2015
My Sister
Some Person Mar 2015
My sister,
I hear things about you
And I yell into an empty hole
The tears are here to stay
You're just like me
Only on the other end,
The one being hurt
But we grew up together
You were my big sister
We played
You put up with me
We had the same mom and dad
And you got hurt
And I hurt myself
To get away
But why did you do it?
Why did you need these things?
You're my sister
What am I supposed to do with this?
The tears are here to stay
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