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always anxious Apr 2016
I love you.. but I'm no longer in love with you
I think you're beautiful... but I'm no longer attracted to you
I want you to be happy.. **and that's why I'm no longer honest with you...
always anxious Apr 2016
10W
i was sad, so one day i just stopped eating
always anxious Apr 2016
Wouldn't it be nice if you could just lay in your bed and cry until the pain disappeared?...
always anxious Mar 2016
you don't know me.
Maybe you think you do.

I'm that tomboy who loves videogames
and can solve a rubiks cube in a mere minute.

I'm that girl who talks a lot to boys.
Because that's just where i fit in.

I'm that ****
who flirts with every guy she sees.


But that's not the truth at all.
That's not me

Actually I love nail polish and videogames, but in this society you have to identify as either masculine or feminine.
You can't be somewhere in the middle.

Actually i don't fit in with the boys. they're just better
at accepting that I'm who I am.
I don't fit in anywhere.


I have a flirtasious personality.
But I've been in a realationship with a guy that i Love for a year now. And I haven't even thought about cheating.

I don't even know if that's who I am.. the only thing i know is that i'm not male, but I dont feel female either.
That I'm not alone but still feel so lonely sometimes.

*Who am I and who do I wanna be?
always anxious Feb 2016
Don't know why I am this way
it's no surprise i have no friends.

I suffer from social anxiety.
It keeps me away from the world.
and I don't know if I can just be
another lonely girl.

I know you think I'm really really weird.
Hands sweaty the fear is too real..
I feel so weak but I'm still holding on.
Don'ts wanna speak I'll just say something wrong.

But what the hell that's just who I am.
An epic fail the everyone is better than.

But I can't explain it
in a way that you could relate.

but you wouldn't understand it anyway...
always anxious Jan 2016
Listen to your heart they say.

But what if your heart is stupid?
What if it can't make decissions.

What if your heart is too broken?
What if it just tries to harm itself

What if you do listen to your heart,
But then get told that, it was a stupid thing to do?

What if you listen to your heart..
Even though you know you shouldn't?

You get hurt, but you'll just do it again..
Cause that's what they tell you to.
Thank you for always being here,
when I needed you the most.
When I asked you to come over,
you were there in a matter of minutes and most days,
you even brought your best friend Anxiety,
so we wouldn't be alone.
Some days,
you asked if you could stay over,
because you were all alone and really needed a hug.
My reply was a of course,
I know how it feels like to be alone in this world.

But now,
now you will not leave,
no one else wants you and I'm stuck here with you in my bedroom.
I don't remember how it felt like,
before you came around and it is like having a best friend you just can't be apart from.
It is weird because sometimes I hate you,
other times I can't live without you.
You can make me feel so important,
yet so dead and I wish I did not have to say this,
but dear Depression,
I think it is time for you to leave.

(e.k.j.)
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