I wish I could sleep next to you right now
I miss how your body feels next to mine
I miss how you're holding me,
Putting your arms around,
And how you fall asleep faster than I.

Rationalizing impulses
until I am overanalyzing
which is paralyzing
and leads to desensitizing,
So realizing
this is truly agonizing,
Which is not surprising.

The present moment is my guiding light.

I love the vibes you give me
I love your many sides
I love how we barely know each other
And we already fight for one another

I love how this feels very new
I love my insights about me and you
I love how I am ready to let go
I love our relationship-flow

I reject fears, insecurities, too many thoughts,
I reflect sometimes, putting feelings into words,
I know we both know how deeply disappointment hurts,
So we're afraid to lead each other astray

But at the same time, we're so curious,
How far can we come,
We want to believe in us,
Because you know, nobody knows...

Is it delirious for us to find our way?
Isn't it obvious that we would love to stay together?
All the obstacles, if we keep believing, will they even matter?
All the opposition that comes and hurts,
It's only words.

Nobody can tear us apart but our fears,
And trying to control is the best way to lose all,
Floating, trusting, warming, lusting, dancing, in smiles,
Loving, time flies,
This is the way,
Now is the state,
And if we're meant to....
Then you know, we will stay.

<3

We are worthy. We are capable. We are loved.

Especially when we're sick and tired or when we feel like laying in bed all day. Or when we actually do nothing the whole day. I want to remind us that this doesn't mean we're not productive, not capable or not worthy.

We're still as worthy as before, we're still as loved as before. It's just that our bodies and minds need to rest.
We actually need to rest regularly, but sometimes we forget that.

Now that I am sick I realized that and it's a relief to be there for myself although I feel so unproductive. I am loved. And you are, too. No matter what you're doing or not doing.

Dear little one,
I wish I could tell you who you were meant to be,
but I never had the chance to meet you.
You were supposed to laugh without hesitation,
to dance barefoot in the grass,
to wake up without the weight of the world
pressed against your chest.

You were supposed to dream
without fearing the fall,
to believe in love
without flinching at its touch.
You should have known kindness
without conditions,
safety without apologies,
home without war.

But they took you from me
before you ever had a chance to breathe.
They stole your voice
and left me with the echoes,
turned your soft hands into fists,
your open heart into armor.

I search for you in the quiet,
in the spaces between my ribs,
but all I find are ghosts—
memories that were never made,
a life that was never lived.

I carry you still,
even in the ruins,
even in the spaces where childhood should have been.
And if I could,
I would build you a home in my arms,
rock you to sleep with a lullaby
you were never sung.

I cannot bring you back,
but I can promise this:
I will live for us both.
I will find the softness the world denied you,
and I will whisper your name
into the wind—
so you know you were never forgotten.