I thought you cared
Thought you loved me
But you never did

You made me smile
You made me laugh
You made me feel important
For a while

You tried your hardest
And i fell for you
Yet you left me hanging
Without a clue

Sadly
I'm such a fool
To fall for you

I shouldn't have been there
I better not tell
I shouldn't have dressed ****
I better not tell

I shouldn't have gotten drunk
I better not tell
I shouldn't have laughed at his jokes
I better not tell

It was so long ago
Better leave it alone
I'll ruin his life
Better leave it alone

He shouldn't have drunk so much
It wasn't my fault
He shouldn't have held me down
It wasn't my fault

He shouldn't have forced me
It wasn't my fault
He shouldn't have ***** me
It wasn't my fault

It wasn't just me
I'm not alone
Will he do it again?
I'm not alone

I'll tell my story
It wasn't my fault
I'm not alone

I want to smile
At people
In a way
That they have never been smiled at
Before

In a way
That makes them feel as if
They're the only ones
I see among the sea of faces
Around them

In a way
That makes them feel as if
I'm the first one to truly
Stop and express
Raw and genuine attention
To another

In a way
That makes them feel as if
I truly notice them amongst this world
That is torn at moving
At high speeds
Instead of getting lost with
What's right in front of it
Because it's all a blur as they speed by it

In a way
That makes them feel
Important
Worthy
Loved
Noticed
Because sometimes
People don't feel that way
And if I can break out a smile
That expresses all of those emotions
To that one person
In a matter of a few short seconds
Then I'd constantly look for those
That look like anything but

Through poetry
I find myself

i absolutely fear love
i fear it with every fiber of my being
because if i tell you i love you
you would know how shattered i could become if you left
i've always feared love
i've feared letting someone in that far
letting someone see how i really am
to let them have the ability to hurt me that badly
to let myself become comfortable with another
i've feared every aspect of love
because i fear vulnerability and being broken
yet i went and fell
and i'm absolutely terrified to speak those words
because then you could shatter me
and you already know how fragile i am

This is to the person
Who lives the way I do...
Whose life is a distortion
Created by the veil
That covers our minds from the truth
That living like this is hell:
The moments you overreact,
You cry and have panic attacks
The moments that you’re in your bed
When demons inhabit your head
When you push away those that you love
Because being yourself is too much
This is to those with this
Distortion,
Distortion that lives in your brain,
Beneath every single headache and then cracked between the pain.