My fickle heart is confused.

For it longs for a place to call home, but much like a drone
It aimlessly drops bombs while moving along

My fickle heart is confused.

For it never had a reason to stop and stay
Much like the wind, it prefers to swing and sway

My fickle heart is confused.

For it's familiar with the motions of its ever-changing cruise
But you came along its path, and stopped it in its tracks

My fickle heart was confused.

Changing its beat while it roamed a few feet,
And then it met you, found love and it's muse

My heart is no longer confused.

A wanderer in every sense
The moment it found you was its biggest suspense

It was you all along, the words to my song
My heart remained still ever since

*-Bobbie Leigh

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

Those who seek us they may find
a secret passage to the phases of time.
Flitter here, Flitter fare
See us only in moon lights stare.
We who nurture the soul of nature.
We enlighten your ageless future.
Love we can grant with our fairy dust
If your hearts desires, to us you entrust.
Walk softly upon our mossy floor,
Carefully seek us ever more.
For we await the true of heart.
To grant them the courage to do their part.
Deep within our forest fair.
Come and seek us, those who dare.

© Crystal Erickson

The epiphanies of my failures
and the reaper of reputations
strip me to the bone
strip me to the bone, and leave me bare to dry
licked repeatedly by the incinerating
UV rays of humanity.
Care not for me.
Care not.
Hold me never.
Laugh, laugh and walk away.

Left to my own, my ingenuity.
I build myself, I create myself.
I unbrainwash myself!
Years of reconstruction.
I succeed to emerge a greatness.
An inner entity of amazement.
No one understands.

Failure?  I wonder..
Pain always lingering in the depths.
Inadequacies, *******.
I push past, deal with, and battle face to face.
To leave dismembered on the floor.
Step on it, stomp it deep.
plunge it down to surface again in light.

ME
hold me, love me if your able.
Never take for granted,
my soul, not of this life.
This place, these people, this society.
I am light.
Capable of so many inconceivable things.
I am light
I need only when I let myself need.
I need you, only if to see me.
The true me,
The me no one can possibly see.
I cry, I love, I feel, I am awakened!

© Crystal Erickson 11/24/07

All I want is for you to tell me,
just tell me it's ok.
Tell me you forgive me,
so the pain can go away.

My flaws laid bare, my weakness there,
to cast upon your shore.
These trying times of bitterness,
of agony and more.

I throw myself repeatedly,
upon your darkened door.
Until my ****** bodies drained,
I collapse upon the floor.

I, no longer strong, where do I belong?
I don't know anymore.
I **** the love that's killing me
You don't care, you don't see.

In my misery I wallow.
No warmth behold, my blood runs cold.
To find you I cant follow.

Scared, I'm scared, I'm terrified,
to find rejection in your eyes.

No one caught me when I fell!

My mind torments me relentlessly,
my vision of you blurry.
Pick me up to find my feet,
hold me till I'm steady.

Love rebuilds the bridges burned,
by fear and pain and anger
Stay by my side my strength regained
Love is the master power
An empty soul I hide,
I simply cry, and cower.


This side of me, no one shall see.
So with my heart, that you still have,
please keep my memory.

© Crystal Erickson  5/9/08