Unproductivity.
What a silly word.
What a massive waste of time.
While the minutes and even hours race by,
And apparently it’s already July.
The future is coming.
I realize that statement is true yes, but
That doesn’t mean I’m any less scared
That doesn’t mean I’m any less unprepared.
Time moves fast, most of the time that is.
However there are those moments
Where I’m struggling to stay afloat
Resisting the lull of falling behind
Persisting despite my hatred of
My somehow ever-racing mind
I don’t know what to do to slow down
I just need more time, time to breathe.
Time to relax, time to let life pass me by
Maybe just a for a day, where I could get away.
I could leave this town, and avoid
My suffocating obligations
And my equally frustrating
Responsibilities and duties .
And worst of all,
The winner of them all by far,
The anxiety that holds my brain hostage.
Telling me that there’s no time
Yelling at me to focus, to get things done.
But all I can do is sit. There, quietly.
And stare at the wall directly in front of me
For what seems like hours but they’re actually days.
And everything seems to be slipping by.
Minding it’s own business, and I wish it wouldn’t.
I feel as if I’ve lost my tie, my lock to my identity.
The person I thought I used to be
Dedicated and focused.
Is now frustrated and unmotivated
What am I supposed to do?
I suppose, I’ll continue to sit here.
Whether it be at my desk, on my bed.
Racking the ideas and words through my head.
Over and over attempting to
Wait out this unproductivity.
And praying that inspiration
Won’t take much longer
Because I’m afraid I’ve lost what I used to have.

It is so easy to change our lives. We do not realise just how powerful we are. A thought could revolutionalise the world for the better. If we could just stand up and speak, make up our mind to be the best we possibly can. o stop watching those videos on Youtube, to stop scrolling through Facebook with a blank mind and then snapping out of it at the end of the day only to find that your life reeks of dysfunction and unproductivity and that you wasted an amazing day that you could have spent changing your life.
The butterfly effect.
Your decisions today affect your life tomorrow. Have the choices you made today given you a better tomorrow?

i was busy all morning
organizing thoughts
and upon completion
i dropped the box

Tonight feels like salt, but not enough wounds to pour it in.
There is no relief, no distraction
from the feeling taking my lungs' motion away.
I can't breathe, I can't see,
stasis and the puddles that accompany it.
The crushing grip of unproductivity
shakes my soul as a giant would a doll.
Wasted, wasted, another day wasted.
When will the spaces on the clock be worthwhile?
I am perpetually shoving myself off of an edge into a pit of something menacing,
I can't seem to give up on tearing down my own walls.
Two lines, or three, streaking down my cheeks -
a signification of my misery for everyone to see.
Embarrassment, now comes he -
with his lance, sticking it straight through me.
Stop looking, everyone stop looking,
I can't do this anymore.
When tears do not reveal my weakness,
my expression does.
I am quiet, disengaging from what I enjoy -
and they notice, how dare they notice,
I  don't want them to notice!
Curiosity and compassion are two very different things,
and the former is in overabundance.
I feel like a raincloud must, though I don't attain a pleasure of release -
my eyes spill out my insignificance,
therefore it is endless.

Already on this momentum
Seeking another revival
Don't care much about the rivals
Looking forward to the arrivals
Please follow the bibles
That we're providing
You got to be cognizant of the horse you're riding
To get here, to make a mark
If you want to sing like a Lark
You got to be caring of your performance
This window of opportunity is enormous
You got to mitigate the dormice
To know who's truly there
Too many are in a sad state of affairs
I got my goals in the crosshairs
Forget harping on the job fairs
I want to throw my influence in the air
See if you can even catch it
Working tirelessly, trying to match it
Don't leave any cracks, bury the hatchet
It looks to me that this is sloppy and ratchet
Laugh it off, zero attachment
I'll explain my dfetatchment
But first you got to understand
Despite not being from the same land
We have to be on the same ground
I've taken despair by the pound
Way too animals left there
If you truly care
About your art
To alleviate the tension and not fall apart
You need to be focused
Strong and cohesive
Try to be adhesive
Pick up those pieces
Vacate to your beaches
Make sure you bring your breeches
So you can start your speeches
Of verse
Over again, rehearse
Seeing the world in obverse
Verbally amerse
Playing the fair central
Be astute with the pencil
Utilize that utensil
To bend your will
Creating the chill
Among the audience
You have to have the skill of clairaudience
To truly make things work
Not only do you have to ravage, you have to merk
Never wipe off that smerk
So you can avoid being a mere clerk
At some ordinary place
You got to respect every face
Keep an open mind on the preface
Life's not a race
Emotions can be beautiful or pure mace
Working hard to not be a disgrace
Is amicable
That's what should be predicatable
But it isn't
We've fallen so deep
You hardly hear a peep
About the best ones
Until they're gone
Showcasing the swans
At this funeral
How many numerals
Do we have to witness
To puncture through this
And call death to seal it with a kiss
There's a heavy mist
When the arms are scarred along with the wrists
From short-term problems
We try so hard to solve them
Mentally ignore, block them
While life has no problem stocking them
You're your own gem
Whether you believe it or not
I hate to let my work rot
Into unproductivity
Practicing better civility
Is what will help us thrive
Eagerly survive
Is much I try to revive
People from theirs issues
Keep in mind those scar tissues
Should be history
Not only in the class
Don't be afraid to look back, just avoid the rehash.

under abject poverty ,
  receivership and unproductivity
    retardation and helpless behavior
      rowdy dull and gloomy
          always silent and stressed,
no hope for a better life.
poor and today my feelings are strong to believe!
  that if sickness befall me,
    I will die on my rags of bedding
       since for sure,
           I have nothing to call mine,
              apart from this poverty that has chose to follow me.
whatever the case ,I have accepted my situation!
train of debts ....frustration and depression!
only the heavens knows why!

The disturbance, constant eyes and mouths chattering as I move, live, do, achieve, prosper and work.
What is it?
My energy? My drive? My determination? My  ambition?
Does my empowerment and goal driven personality threaten you?
Does my limitless knowledge and thrill to learn make you feel stupid?
Does my hot body and love for exercise make you feel ugly?
Does my enthusiasm to achieve and gain my dreams and goals scare you?

What is it? Because while I am out here working myself to the top, you wasting the last cent you have on your need to sustain.
Stagnency, inefficiency, and unproductivity is not in my name or my blood line.
My mother made it to the top, and I am a product of just that. We have the earth running in our veins, the fire burning in our souls, the water rummaging beneath where the ignorant are too afraid to lurk.

DOES MY POWER THREATEN YOUR LACK OF MOTIVATION AND LACK OF PASSION?

DO YOU LOVE/HATE ADMIRE ME BECAUSE YOU WISH YOU HAD THAT SAME CONFIDENCE?

It's all in me, best believe, God is a ****** woman, and the Devil is too.