The dark sky creeps over, clouds getting darker
What happened to the sky that made it so angry?
who upset the beautiful sky?
No one knows what happened
except that there is beauty in the chaos
the rain hitting your face as you walk
the smell comes rushing in
the raindrops come down harder and harder
you don't get upset about getting wet
you relax in joy as someone gets it
you can let go of everything
something about the rain becomes relatable

If it wasn't for society
I think you'd like me
Confident, smart, funny
All things once found easily
now are lost
for the anxiety of what was
still haunts me
scared, lost, broken
If it wasn't for our society

i:
feel like nothing
like am nothing
nor was ever anything
nor will amount to something
insides:
scooped out like a melon
leaving a great gaping void
in the center of my chest
e m p t y
of thought, action, motivation,
drained of energy
of life of joy
of everything
e    m       t     y
of identity
e                     y
in heart
body
mind
soul
d
i
  s
   i
    n
     t
      e
       g
        r
         a
          t
          (i)nto
           (n)oth
         in(g).

a smile, a look, a touch
is all that's needed for them to think
you belong with me
(you do)
but you are not mine
not in ways they presume
when they see us together
and the ever shrinking space between us

you are not mine in ways that are well trodden
of obligation, of possession, of labels

but you belong with me
in ways that matter
in the way we talk just to each other
in the congruency of our thought
in the importance we have for us
in laughter and sadness
in sickness and in health

they look at us and they presume
but they can never know
how deeply I belong to you

your affection waxes and wanes like the moon
but unlike her
you come and go in no discernible patterns
you leave me parched for a glimpse
you let me glut on your presence
i sit shrouded in the dark
with my heart in my hands
and a telescope of yearning

Does life have a meaning?
Are we souls, bound in mortal shells?
Could we ever know the way-
To heaven, away from hell?

Hell, what if this is it?
No ascension, one life, one day?
And with a single mistake-
Does it all go away?

I'm scared, shaking in fear,
Could we comprehend a purpose?
Or once the candle is snuffed-
Is the melted wax worthless?

Almost
found a hope that prevails
reaching for me under a starlit tent
Almost
built a boat that sails
across all oceans as they bend
Almost
filled my book with tales
an anthology of moments I didn't attend

Almost
what a terrible word
holding such a stinging truth
Almost
felt like it's all worth the hurt
while wasting years of restless youth
Almost
called out and haven't been unheard
found something I couldn't lose


Almost
thought any path would get me there
where wholesomeness is not just hearsay
Almost
kept a fire in sight that brought me to where
I would find the light of day
Almost
made them proud of me, made them care
made them listen to what I had to say

And now
from where I stand
a lyrical sadness
paper in my hand
I know this is true
                                                            ­             I can almost see you