I love you so much
but I can't be with you.
say the love of my life.

he said "the drugs are
taking me over."
"im sorry"
he said

"my nose is only
red because I'm cold."
said my love.

I said
"please stop ******* up"

I want to starve for my art with you
until our faces have sunk in
and our shy skeletons have shown themselves
through our skin, scarred with regrets and tattoos.
I want to write with you
until we hallucinate those skeletons leaping from our bodies
and waltzing with each other while we lay
limp and high on the floor —
until we have nothing left but each other
and stacks upon stacks of 99-cent notebooks
filled with testaments of our madness
and love
like some kind of unholy matrimonial vows
that bind us together
with a silver coil.

I want to paint on the walls with you
until our ****** apartment becomes a gallery
the best gallery in New York
that no one will know about,
at least until we OD
and the stench of our frail bodies leads them here
to these walls painted with the last of our strength.
Until you know how it feels to have death
breathing on your neck
and offering to buy you a drink
and take you home
to pick your mind like a gentleman.

Let’s write our story
then jump from the bridge of sanity
that connects the pointless gap between reality
and the brick wall on the other side
that looms over humanity—
so fall with me
until you know what it's like
to be loved by a poet
who most think is dead inside.
Until you know that I am beautiful
when you step into this little world
that I’ve made up like a god
with one big bang
of imagination and lies
spiraling forever into a darkness
that no one but me
will ever comprehend.

You are the cause of my ******* pain
Every text is another lyric to my heartbreak.
Needle holes made from the memory of your face.
Pins and needles rush my body,
to fabricate a synthetic feeling of our kisses.
Morphine warms me through these lonely nights

Moved to Colorado the other day,
Told the wife I needed to get away.
I guess she didn't think that I'd be gone long,
Since all I packed was underwear and a ****.

The decision to move was easy to make,
In fact, it was a piece of cake.
Ten long years with that naggin' *****,
I definitely knew it was time for a switch.

One day I just realized that I had enough,
So I grabbed a bag, and packed my stuff,
Didn't even bother to say 'Goodbye,'
All I could think about was getting high.

I knew I belonged here, it was in my blood,
To live in a state where I can buy premium bud,
Yeah, getting away was really the point,
You might say I traded the wife for a joint.

Just bought me another bag of ****,
Seems I got everything here I need,
Once I smoke me another blunt,
I'll forget all about that evil gal.

Now the smoking be really fine,
The 7-11 is where I dine,
No one to be a constant pain in my ***,
While I'm sitting here smoking up my grass.

It's nice to be here on my own,
Sparking up yet another bone,
On days I don't want to roll,
I can just pack me a bowl.

These days I got a smile on my face,
A huge grin you just can't erase,
No nagging ***** to drive me insane,
Just hangin' here with Mary Jane.

I'd like to sit around and conversate,
But with Mary Jane, I got a date,
And if you happen to run into my ex-wife,
You can tell her I finally got a life.

01-09-14.

I'd finger you with
mozzarella sticks
any day or night.

1) The sky is the color of cracked television screens and in your sleep you're mouthing silent screams that sound like needles on vinyl.

2) I'm scared you've done lasting damage. I'm scared I was a monster before I even knew you.

3) The moon is just a paper plate and the stars are all LiteBrites.

4) Pictures of girls that are prettier than you, cigarette burned around the edges.

5) Betraying myself with every line I write. But my old heart beats like your knuckles on my ribs. Like your teeth on my lips.

6) Romeo and Juliet except the Capulets are pill heads and Romeo is an orphan.

7) I'm getting pretty good at not controlling my moods. It's the only thing that makes me feel like the passenger seat of your mustang did.

8) The alcohol burns but only half as bright as you do in my heart where you sculpt horrible ice sculptures with cigarette butts and bics.

9) So now smoke is all I breathe, gasping deeply at the chemicals that help me purge you from my system like a sickness.