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 Jan 2017 Rustle McBride
Jamie
Beneath the willow tree he lies

surrounded yet by weeping boughs

as high above a lone loon cries

echoing my silent vows



Through love and life I swore to thee

through sickness and in health

through sunny days and crashing sea

through poverty and wealth



You were to me, I was to you

as one were we from then

and as your paling lips turned blue

I swore we'd meet again



My love let me go softly now

as quick as I to sleep

my love this is our final bow

I'm with you do not weep



Soft as yonder dawn doth break

o're gently burning skies

my dreams take hold I shall not wake

of woven moons and butterflies
For someone I have lost who was most dear, these, my love, are the words I wish I could have said
Caught in the middle, push -pull-
ugh ! it's all the same.
I saw you grow into who you are.
Enraged as I am, I cannot begin to comprehend
why.
I called you Friend.
and yet You stand before me, careless.
Oh how the mighty have fallen,
how the noble have swindled.
it's a Shame really.
Betrayal is not a fit word to suit your heinous acts.
I trusted you- to think i even dared to.
the frustration, the rage; it boils so ravenously.
Going down with your ship once again,
to carry Your Fault.
a comfy front row seat on the S.S. Pessimism.
bring out the Artillery, this means war.

to stand up and see eye to eye with you,
or to take another blow, and swallow my hurt pride?
hurling at an insane speed flies your words against my now other wise
infuriated Spirt,
to dance with a tampered soul is unwise, my friend.
you looked at innocence, and treated it like a joke.
you go stain your hands with filth from god knows where
and then return arms wide open, " I have done no wrong," you say.
Guns At the ready and eyes Locked on you,
but now...
What to trust; to expect from you is just another step closer to
your lies.
so desperately do i want to help you.
I do. but i no longer can look at you the
same way.
Grenades in hand.

if you could be cold and heartless, then this should
be no problem for you sweetness.
come dance with the same bullets you fired at me.
Steady, Aim, Fire.

Dragging me down- i don't think so.
No.
Not this time.
the Abyss can expect other visitors.
Bring out the Artillery.
all because of You...
..Boom.
I had been recently gotten into nasty fight with a long time close friend.
i cared for them. still in shock it all happened the way it did.
It is said that all friends fight. But this ..is in a category allll by itself.
The way you left
Was more than I ever needed to know.
Ammunition enough to baracade myself from you
For eternity
And more.
So why does my heart still act like a bird
I've locked in a cage,
Stolen from its home.
Relentlessly whispering
That one day it will escape,
Find it's way back to you.
 Jan 2017 Rustle McBride
Leandra
The smile that lies is spread across my face
A big toothy grin from ear to ear
A childish laugh and snort
A light sparkling and dancing in my eyes.
but none of these are actually true.
The big smile wants frown all the time and pout
The childish laughs want to be sobs
The light in my eyes are just tears brim my eyes.
But I put on this face so no one can see the....
smile that lies
 Jan 2017 Rustle McBride
Ammar
I wondered
&
I pondered
&
I thought about it too

What is the stuff that
dreams are made of


The Stuff that

Shatters like *glass

Shape-shifts like water
Splatters like blood
Stings like fire

The Stuff that makes

Nightmares
&
**Fantasies
-
there are so many holes in the sky tonight
I wish I could crawl through one
and drop into an infinite drop
explore the nothing in the nothing
freefalling has always felt natural to me
I guess that's why it's so hard to orient myself
with enough space for beliefs and doubts
I look to the moon for guidance
while it waxes and wanes
it is always whole
illuminated or not
it is always present
Dragged in by chains
You won't leave alone tonight
With everything you've said
Every crime commited
Here is a prison
Made of everything you know
Throw away the key
Because You won't see the day
Again

All fear and shame
They knew my name
I was in ******* to every broken sin
All fear and shame
They knew my name
I was in ******* to every sin

And here I was lost
Bound to my cell
Past was calling
Burdened from hell
You took my place
Where nailed wrists bled
And the thorns that pierced
Where you died and bled
Taking my place

Breathing softly
As the casket closed
And iron maiden
To close me into binds
No escape
No closure
No escaping the exposure of this sting
Untill you came
And took the death belonging to me

And here I was lost
Bound to my cell
Past was calling
Burdened from hell
You took my place
Where nailed wrists bled
And the thorns that pierced
Where you died and bled
Taking my place

And here I was lost
Bound to my cell
Past was calling
Burdened from hell
You took my place
Where nailed wrists bled
And the thorns that pierced
Where you died and bled
Taking my place

Take this life and all its pain
Blessed Are you Slain
Blessed Is The Slain
Blessed, beloved return again
2 Corinthians 5:21
It's not the kind of sadness which makes you want to cry all the time,
But the kind of sadness that overwhelms your senses so much,
You began to question your sanity
You lost touch with all your emotions.

Venlafaxine in the day
A little white pill,
Promising you no more break downs.

Sertraline in the evening
Two little blue pills,
Selling you dopamine and fake smiles.

Quetiapine in the night
Three little pink pills,
Swearing that you'll be in control.

Those lies they feed you
False hope sold in crazy little pills,
I still clutch the bottle of gas
Dreaming of normalcy,
Cradling a razor blade on broken skin
I smile like a fool.
 Jan 2017 Rustle McBride
RJW
there hides a secret in the heart of the ferns
stars sing over this gilded corner of pixie homes and rippled pool
cool tears of the saturated mountain heights flow down the sloped arms
of hills, sprouting with seeds and clovers
to spill into the lake, dancing dragonfly wings
jasper and honey
here the lilies form goldfish ceilings
hearing every incantation above and below
rimmed stalks surround them, soft and tall
rabbits run wild, lacing round trunks of magnolia and pear
olive and ancient dogwood
the air sings of fairy work, a breathing painting of magic
dedicated to my kindred spirit; Jess :)
I'm not as good as the light suggests
I prefer the dark where my shadows are invisible
Where they can't follow me and watch me
And show me my wrongs
Show me I don't belong

There is no song that can make me feel better
About what I've done
The things I've seen, done, and wished I hadn't
I've learnt from them, this poem is proof of that
Once I put it in words it's as good as set in stone
Because out of everything I've known
Poetry is the only thing that feels like home

So please be a razor and shave away my sins like my hairs
Like my hairs my sins are uncountable
Shave them off and let them fall
Allow me retribution
Allow me freedom
I have been beaten

I don't want to remain in this darkness anymore
I want to yearn for the light and remember when my shadows walked WITH me and not against me
When my shadow had pride enough in me to walk with me
When my soul was as close to me as my jugular vein
Please take away this pain
Let not me be a bane in the rain of your mercy
Let not me fail...

Show me mercy...
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