i lost you
and
i
found
my
voice.

when you pass my way, know that my Wi-Fi network
requires no password to gain entry,
thus it comes with a security recommendation:

there is no security in poetry, only the unresolvable:

how came Excalibur into the rock,
will our children have better lives than us,
can we define accurately finite,
why can't we add new letters to our alphabet,
will my poems live longer than I

so when you pass my way
walk right in, sit right down,
greet madness,
thy new boon companion,

who will not ask you for the password...
8/27/17 11:43pm

=========================================
Watching the color of my dreams
Even In the darkness of mistrust
When they become invisible
But I can still feel them beside me
Like a dance in my heart
Like a music in my memories
Like the songs in my perception
Like the senses in my imagination
I will tell you all my secrets

But you are not to become your secret
Then you can live unforgettable moments, with elegance
Hearing in your heart
Serenity, joy, and happiness of life
Whispering from the mist
Kindness like a warm blanket of snow,
Softly covering and gently touching the inner dream

Changing our all rhythms into symphony of the cosmos
Listening to the color of your musical dreams
Without knowing the name of the tune
But then the sky merges with the Earth
When you enter into streams of my liking, as
I love the quote of Maya Angelou
''A woman's heart should be so hidden in God
that a Man has to seek Him just to find Her.''

Written by
~~~Jawahar Gupta~~~

but it wasn't just losing you

it was losing out on all the memories to-be
like your mother's fortieth birthday
your baby cousin's first day at school
your uncle's wedding *(i'd already picked out my clothes)

it meant missing you at my graduation
and you never seeing my little sister grow
never tasted the fresh morning brew my dad makes
or listening to my mom recite

losing you wasn't just losing you
it was losing everything around you
and in a way,
*it meant losing myself too.

Standing in a sea of people
As a lone island
Floating around
In the endless nothingness
Drifting away and drowning
Falling apart
And piecing yourself back together
Over and over
And over again
Every single second of the day
Wishing for it to all stop
Helplessly knowing
Nobody will ever hear
Your silent cries
...
Noone could ever save you
Because how could they
Ever save you
From yourself
...
It's hearing yourself talk
And move
And smile
Maybe even laugh
But knowing
It's all an act
With noone to yell "cut"
At the end of the scene..
Because your whole life
Has become a giant play,
Where there could be
A thousand people
And a thousand lights,
There could be a thousand claps
And a thousand great nights
Still all the while
You'd be a thousand times lonely
Drowning in the lights
Drowning in the laughter
Drowning in yourself
All because
You've become too good
At acting
Like you could swim
...
Depression is killing yourself
Slowly
Every day
Every minute
Every single second,
From the inside out
Because you don't know
Who you are anymore
Except for an empty body
Defining disappointment
And a burden
And a void of fake
All wrapped in one.
...
Depression is Loneliness
Depression is Acting
Depression is Drowning
But most of all,
Depression is Me.