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You break my heart sometimes.
You do.
I'll let you demolish me
Because it's you.

When I've given you my heart
What else do I have left to give?
It pumps to keep me going
You're the reason I now continue to live.

I wake up to life
Not knowing when my time will come
I am here for you, because of you.
I am yours only until my pulse here is done.
 Dec 2015 Evangeline Rose
Red Fox
Why does this caged bird sing?
Because I'm Black,
In a country that says that doesn't mean a thing.
Because racism has taken many setbacks
And the Klu Klux **** has applications
and we know where the police get their reps at.
So why can't we take a step back?
My life means less than yours,
But I find myself pursuing better things
So my daughter never wants for more.
Locked in cages,
I'm a Starling
So I yearn to fly.
See my brothers in them four walls
Like that's where they were born to die.
If our privilege was like yours
We would never hear those expensive collect calls.
So we use our knowledge for wrong,
You'd never appreciate that a felon could write this poem.
Trapped in environments that don't care for us,
We try to branch out
They take a few shots
And you no longer hear from us.

So why does the caged bird really sing?
Probably because I know where my opportunities really lie.
In a ball, a mic or some reality show.
I'm not against those options
But I live in reality though.
There's no hope for the rehabilitated,
You have to carve your own road,
And nowhere is that clearly stated.
And to add insult to injury,
I'm Muslim and if you knew
You wouldn't see a friend in me.

So why does the caged bird sing?
If you clearly can't hear us,
Why put on a badge in a neighborhood,
If you fear us?
You prop yourself on a pedestal
And look down.
You brought us here, left us in the field, in shacks
And now we're in the Slums of every town.
You diminished our importance
And showed us anything that wasn't white was wrong,
For all I know you helped me write this poem.

So why does this caged bird sing?*
So my words can vibrate my shackle loose,
So my ideals can blow open the door
And my melody can inspire every bird too.
There's a place I know where the birds swing low,
And wayward vines go roaming,
Where the lilacs nod, and a marble god
Is pale, in scented gloaming.
And at sunset there comes a lady fair
Whose eyes are deep with yearning.
By an old, old gate does the lady wait
Her own true love's returning.

But the days go by, and the lilacs die,
And trembling birds seek cover;
Yet the lady stands, with her long white hands
Held out to greet her lover.
And it's there she'll stay till the shadowy day
A monument they grave her.
She will always wait by the same old gate, --
The gate her true love gave her.
She stands in beauty
Waiting for the wind to come
and knock off the only clothes
she owns
She sits strong ready
for the icy queen to
enter
and bring in her army
of ice crystals
only there to make their sacrifice
heavy and tired
She knows that her time
is near and she needs to hurry;
hurry up and make amends
with her solid ground
and build up another
as she falls
Her snowcap dress disappears,
as forest on compass interferes.
She can not be azimuth for escape,
why some left trail of yellow tape.
bowing usher points on with blighted limb,
retching out its own hemlock gin.
path in is beaten, with log and stone,
crevices drown a webbed saliva moan.
path out is unbeaten and hard to find,
from death's brambles on the mind.

All trees seem to want to die,
no effort to brush off strangling vine.
where you think they have broke loose,
swaying ropes that once had noose.

And where there is light, is mossy glen,
just enough, for one last note to pen.
dolls, cloths, skulls make up forest litter,
shoes, bottles, and smiling family picture.

With the only surviving sounds so faint and sickly,
Scraping nylon tent--a starving man on day sixty.
The songbirds break the silence,
A cruel happy tune,
They see dark doom in ultraviolet,
the panicked slit wrists and  poison diet,
create failed trails ,
that don't escape and help to hide it.


"The wood line, I made it out"--the cruelest thought,
Mount Fuji's white dress through the trees up top ,
They see themselves smiling,
It is, and it is not,
a happy photo,
identifying their skulls stained green by moss.
My head, my heart, they are empty,
producing, containing nothing.
Yet, they are stuffed to the max,
flooding with thoughts, emotions, worries, hopes.
How can one be so empty, yet so full?
I am a ghost existing,
alive and dead in this twisted world.
They drain us of vitality and fill us with emptiness.
We are the lost.
Don’t bother looking for us,
we are already gone, found.
My mind wonders back
back to the beginning
to the moment when this began
the day I met you

Like a production played out in my mind
sound so loud I can not hear anything else
but then my mind skips ahead and the sadness returns

I can't stop playing it over in my mind
the moment they told you
"Weeks left to live"
the fear I saw in your eyes
but there was nothing we could do

A tear falls from my eye
hating that you are gone
but there is nothing I can do
except remember you
your smile
your laughter
your big blue eyes
your kindness
so My mind wonders back
back to the beginning
to the moment when this began
the day I met you
At the moment this poem doesn't pressent it's self from my point of view, it is written from the point of view of a person who recently lost their loved one. So many people die each year and there loved ones suffer in heart ache, I tried my best to promote how this might feel to a person who as yet to experience this kind of heart ache.. R.I.P to those who've lost their lives
 Dec 2015 Evangeline Rose
Tab
Refill
 Dec 2015 Evangeline Rose
Tab
Blue circle pills
Piling up on my counter
Little and numbing
I'm depressed
When did that happen?
1 white pill
2 yellow pills
I take these in the morning
In the evening I take more
3 more white pills
1 tiny blue pill
I let the blue pill melt on my tongue
In half an hour I'm numb and exhausted
Day in and Day out
More pills
Pills
P
i
l
l
s
Oh its been 31 days
I need a refill
Sometimes when I am alone
I listen to the walls
and I read all of the words,
I have written
to cover me up.
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