I want you to be able to tell me your inner thoughts and deepest feelings.
But now i realize you might have already given that away...

You're going to throw up
leaving. change. panic. fear.
You can't breathe
why. how. don't. please.
You're having a heart attack
alone. forever. helpless. trapped.
You're dying*
can't. stop. please. help.
You´re fine*
....oh

Depression is being so tired every minute of every day
that finding the energy to get out of bed is taxing.
Depression is not wanting to be around people you know you love
because the thought of explaining how you are really doing is heartbreaking.
Depression is drowning in an ocean of your thoughts
while everyone around you scolds you because you should ‘know how to swim.’
Depression is being so confused as to why you feel the way you do
because everyone declares that happiness is a choice you have to choose to make.
Depression is avoiding even looking in the mirror
because you’ve surpassed the point of self-hate.
Depression is being stranded on an island and having the tools to signal for help
but not being able to read the language of the instructions on the label.
Depression is being surrounded by people who love you
but feeling completely alone and unloved.

Pills left me restless
Food never filled me up
**** never satisfied me
Success dies
Friends fade
Nothing seems to last
I'm left with a buzz but nothing else
Then I see you
Hanging on that tree
You call down to me
"What are you doing son?"
"Why can't you stop son?"
The more I live life the more I realize my need for you
Without you, there is only darkness
You are my drug-- scratch that, you're better than drugs


*"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28