Step 1: Get out of bed Step 2: Look in the mirror Step 3: Practice your smile Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes Step 5: Conceal the dark circles Step 6: Breathe The curtains are almost up Step 7: Lock down the pain Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind Step 10: Choke down the sobs Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat You’ve put on this show a million times Step 13: Don’t let them see Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
He doesn't burn photographs He doesn't join therapy sessions He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes Nor he drown himself into alcohol He scratches his wounds daily And never let them heal He doesn't try to get rid of the pain Instead he let it grow on him He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears He feeds it with the manure of old memories He takes it to sleep with him And nurtures it in himself Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain Until his fragile heart can bear no more And his soul starts overflowing with emotions That's when he dip his pen into this pain And empty his heart on a piece of paper He bares his soul for us to feel He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come
Sometimes I think of killing myself How the end would be so nice How the darkness would swallow me up And how the numbness would suffice My need
For all the voices of the feelings That constantly keep me reeling To softly slow to a hush As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush
How wonderful it would be To have that powerful silence Not even grasshoppers would bother To wake me
My cells would stop dividing My brain would stop the lying Myself would stop denying What I truly want
But but but This is just a reckless fantasy A way to elude one’s own reality
Because as I sit here on the floor Tears drip drip dropping I realize there’s those who care for me more Cherish me more Love me more Than I love my own self
I ran. Not knowing what else to do There was so much blood on my hands It was mine The kitchen knife Caught in my chest Guilt Consumed by Fear I was heightened by Adrenaline But running on Wasn’t enough While trying to stay calm, Losing control It was me that would end up Dead. Because He was In front of me The whole time It was too late Trapped I found myself Locked in chains My fate was Death.
Forward: from the victims perspective. Backward: from the murderers perspective.
Write Simple, I tell myself, Write Poetic, I force myself, Write Beauty, I convince myself, Write Imagery, I encourage myself, Write with purpose, I plead myself.
What other kind of creature could divide Each different thing into its different sides With chaos versus order, dark and light The stark duality of wrong and right We even split the very world in two With human versus human, we and you But still no matter how much we divide Each thing has infinitely many sides