King Solomon received a gift from the Lord, the gift of being wise.
He was able to use his great wisdom to see through people's lies.
When a woman stole a baby, she told King Solomon to cut him in two.
The other lady begged Solomon to give the baby to the thief and he knew that was what the true mother would do.
Perhaps God has given as much wisdom to some others because only he can.
If I only had ten percent of King Solomon's wisdom, I would be a better man.

I tolerated my **** neighbor even though he liked to gripe.
But I drew the line when he attacked me with a steel pipe.
The ******* hit me in the ribs and on my head.
My skull was fractured, I'm lucky I'm not dead.
Now the hospital is threatening to take my home because I can't pay their bill.
I don't deserve these problems, I may lose my house and I was nearly killed.
But I had him arrested and they locked that maniac in a cell.
He committed assault with a deadly weapon and he's rotting in jail.

Everybody needs God as much as they need air.
Have faith in the Lord and he'll always be there.
A church ran out of food that it gives to the poor so that they can survive.
The Preacher told God about the dilemma and a truck full of food arrived.
God is wonderful and he works in mysterious ways.
He will always be there for us, he'll never go away.

She was very cute with her curly hair and dimples.
The lady who I'm speaking of was Shirley Temple.
She starred in Curly Top and Stand Up And Cheer.
She starred in 60 films during her fabulous career.
It was so sad and tragic when she died in February of 2014.
She was the biggest child star that the world has ever seen.

She said that she was innocent but nobody heard her.
She was sent to the electric chair because of a ******.
Even though she was innocent, she was found guilty.
She was put to death over twenty years ago in 1993.
Several weeks ago, the guilty party went to the Police and confessed.
The people who are responsible for her death are people who I detest.
Now those ******* know that what they did wasn't right.
I hope the guilt causes them not to be able to sleep at night.
You may wonder why I'm so angry and why I've missed her.
The woman who was sent to the chair was my younger sister.

When a wig maker saw my wife's hair, he adored it.
He wanted it and said that he'd pay top dollar for it.
So I cut my wife's hair off while she was asleep.
She walked out the door after calling me a creep.
Perhaps I did go too far.
But I wanted to buy a car.
I went to a used car lot and bought a beautiful red Camaro.
If you're wondering if I got away with it, the answer is no.
My wife went home to be with her mother.
And then I got a visit from her two brothers.
One came at me with an axe, I was lucky that my head wasn't severed.
The other torched my Camaro and covered me with tar and feathers.
It took four weeks to get that tar out of my hair and off my skin.
If I live to be a hundred, I'll never cut off a woman's hair again.

I hope that you'll believe me but you probably will not.
I have a dog and she has been smoking all of my ***.
She's my doggy and I do love her.
But I can't get high because of her.
My money has been wasted because of all of the **** that she stole.
I hide my joints but she finds them and smokes every one that I roll.
Some people call me a nut, they think a straight jacket is what I need.
Others think that the dope dealer spiked my ****.
But I'm not crazy, my dog really does smoke my grass.
I'm very angry and I'm on the verge of kicking her ***.
If you're looking for a free dog, I gladly give you this stupid *****.
But if you smoke ***, you'll lose money so you'd better be rich.