from my rented burdens
with no Earth
I rot alone in this cloud, sunken bed
ungfited & ungrieved
the sleep talking ****** curses withdraws
the sea of agony
blow ash in my eyes
for the dreaming skull is never asleep when the moon
echoes for the lost wanderer's calling
to guide it's tired eyes to drift
to slumber
the heaven dreamt is disguised in despair
the dread of death

i go to bed trying to sleep
at the crack of dawn
where I hear the morning birds
chirp me lullabies
i’ve been playing too long
with fellow moon
that I’ve forgotten how life was
without the darkness

i feel nothing but love for you.

I wondered why I had so much trouble
Breaking out of this heartbreak bubble
Let me tell about my story about guys who were my weakness
In the heart I treasured but where cold increases
There was a boy I saw in the halls
He was a year older and he loved basketball
I watched his games and he noticed
I know he did cause he winked and said he expected me to cheer the loudest
But after months of opening doors, carrying bags and sweet nothing being thrown back and forth
He says he’s tired and replaces me and I just became ignored
There was another boy much older then before
He was smart and successful and said the world was to explore
I looked up to him and I thought he looked lovingly down to me
But to do bigger things he left me screaming at the sea
The next one was more of a child
He was joyful and promised me love and marriage
But he was just kid lacking reality and it was something I could not encourage
Because he thought by promising marriage *** was a must
I had to say no 10 times before he even budged
In the end I had to walk away from the boy with false promises and deaf to the word no
The last one was a high school love
It was unrequited it was a time I had to be tough
He was my classmate I saw him everyday
Our relationship wasn’t black and white it was all grey
He told me to wait and wait I did
Til he fell in love and I didn’t want to admit
That he did me wrong so i asked my place
He took my hand and brushed my hair out of my face
He told me to wait and wait I did
6 years go by 2 boyfriends later I couldn’t quit
He was the one until she got pregnant
And all he got out of me was judgement
These guys created the walls around my heart
They didn’t break it beause you can’t break something that’s already broken from the start
All it did was stack bricks upon the broken parts
Let me tell you about the time it was shattered  
It wasn’t a specific time it was a long period
With fights and screaming it was like a sickness that needed immediately to be treated
It broke when I had to beg on my knees for my dad not to leave
It broke when I had to chase my 4 year old little sister down the street chasing after our dad who loved to decieve
It broke when my mom told me I wasn’t good enough
It broke when my mother just watched my aunt slap me multiple times for something that was her fault and letting me wallow in grief
It broke when I was told I was a failure right from the start
It left me scarred
Wanting to hurl
It left me
Heartbreak girl