I look happy, don’t I?
there are no cuts on my wrists
all you see
is the smile on my lips
maybe even a spark in my eyes
and all you hear
is me telling everyone i'm fine
maybe even a laugh once in a while

but when will you look deep into my eyes
look beneath the spark and the blue color
see the emptiness and the darkness in me

   when you will realize
the smile is a facade
i'm not happy, it's fake, i'm hiding my tears
   when you will see
the spark is a blur
i'm not happy, i’m on the edge to tears
   when you will hear
the laugh is a scream
i'm not happy, i’m choking on pain

did you check my heart? it’s filled with scars

*(s.m)

His deep hazel eyes,
                     That are full of
                             LIES
Pain and torment, that is hiding behind his
                          SMILES
Wishing for another, someone to call his
                            OWN
     But inlove with his best friend,
     Who he secretly stalks at home
                         HURT
                            &
                      BETRAYED
   That his other half has found another,
    Meditating on this he gives up and says
                 "WHY BOTHER"
                   Life is full of ****,
So he puts on one of those perfect,believing
                          SMILES
              ­  And pretends to be
                        HAPPY
       While slowly losing the love of his
                       LIFE……                  
                                  
                                        

Knowing this person was an amazing gift I've received from life,
But what makes it cruel and hurtful is that I cannot be his love and his wife....


Imperfect Desire **

Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **

Beauty is not in the face; Beauty is found in the heart