In shadows deep, she bore the flame,  
Her woven grace, none dare to blame.  
Within her arms, my grief would fade,  
By her truth, the world is made.  

Her heart’s a well of honest tide,  
No insult dwells where love abides.  
When I do love, her soul shall mend,  
The woman holds what earth defends.

O Failure,
You make my bones shiver at the thought of you,
And send my feet racing a thousand miles at the sound of your name.
Yet still, you linger
Like a friend I cannot fathom,
One who wounds and teaches in the same breath.

You sow in me the seeds of fear,
The weeds of discouragement,
The shadows of ignorance.
You clip the wings of my dreams,
Grounding me when all I long for is to soar.

At every step, you are one pace ahead,
At every near-victory, you swing the blade and cut it short.
But the sun is never still,
And as it races west to lay the day to rest,
I too will race
And rest not until you fade into night.

Dark may be the sea,
Cold may be the air,
But day is bright,
And brighter still is my will.

For I cannot win always,
Yet I shall not lose forever.
I will strive,
I will rise,
I will meet you again
Not as your captive,
But as your conqueror.

Adieu, Failure.
Adieu.

you ask,
how much i drink in a week.
i say, you don’t want to know —
and you hold me
as the truth splinters
through my ribs.

then you walk me
to your car,
drive me home.
make me tell you
about drinking in silence,
in secret, alone.

but you already know.
you needed me to say it.

you want me medicated.
you want me to get help.
speak to someone,
anyone.
you can’t witness anymore
as i’m losing myself.

i don’t want you to see me like this.
i don’t want anyone to.
a part of me still resists,
still says it isn’t true.

but i am an alcoholic.
only at twenty-four.
the worst part is,
i think i’ve known all along —
i just kept thinking
if i stayed quiet,
it might stay small.

You live within my pain

like the silence between heartbeats.

i haven’t had therapy in weeks.
he’s been on holiday,
i’ve been working.
too much.

the days stack up like
empty dishes by the sink.
sometimes it’s so bad,
i have to dig my nails
into my own skin
to stop myself
from walking away.

but then i think of you —
how you are the only thing
that gets me through the day.
i could not turn my back.
your name is the rope
i wrap around my wrist,
and stay.

tenderness and moon
go together
like you on I,
my ever
so daydream,
explorer of my
moonlit soul,
the celestial body
in which I rest
which is to say
you are home.
—
opening me up,
you found
a milky white lily,
a songbird and
forever
opening me up,
I was an open field,
the sky, rosy & romantic
and in it
lilies danced to
the concurrent
sound of birds, some
a sweet song
and the wind,
a soft scent,
a soft sensation,
my love letter
back to you.