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Pax Apr 2017
I don't want my life to be
amazing, i just want it
to be happy...
Aren't we all want this? there are some happiness that are short, some takes longer, and some never arrive at all. There are some happiness that  are amazing or simple - big or small... I guess my happiness didn't arrive yet, as i am a late bloomer or very much reserved to the point of being afraid... im still overcoming that.. this thought/quote sprang to mind thinking i don't want an amazing life, with all the luxury or many amazing achievements, i just want to be loved and to love back in the simplest way of life, but i guess its still too much to asked. :(
Pax Apr 2017
I write not because i seek your truth,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all the doors we see.

I write not because i seek your pity,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all tough roads we
go through.

I write not because this is a job,
i just do - for someone who seeks
relief to the burden he has not
spoken out loud.

© pax
Pax Apr 2017
Friend's Sincerity comes with Silent Comfort.
-six word story-

I've seen far enough superficiality in this world. That's why I don't ask much advice from anyone in the outside world. I've decided to look for them myself. A friend who understand without saying much at all, is a treasure.
Pax Apr 2017
In the weirdness of things I burn-out my own will
Begun to suffocate the breathless breathing.
Slowly I’m becoming dead,
the strength I held is not my own.
I still go on, like everything
didn’t seems to matter anymore.

In the commotion of emotions,
Fear is like fuel to my fire –
A spark that kept me block.
Lock on my own isolation,
prisoner of my own dominion.

I wish for the star to shine,
Yet it won’t glow for me,
Unlucky.

© Pax
this was the complete poem of this little piece:
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/959592/a-star-wont-glow/
2014 - old work of mine. But there was a commotion of emotions this week, I was sick with Typhoid Fever, I've eating something cheap and gotten me sick. It was frustrating, so alone for two days, its hard even to eat something. when you're in abroad, living alone, its hard to get sick.. even with a roommate, they would not care for you unless your dying. SO i just slept it all up, still in the end you get up and fend for yourself, pick up your pieces even your body is at the weak state. I guess this is adult life with no one to lean on to. sigh..
Now I'm a little better.
Pax Mar 2017
Where does hierarchy begin?
    Is it where the strong is on top,
and the weak step upon?

Where does your dignity be placed?
   Is it where your always be the winner,
no matter what, even it has bitter taste.

Is SURVIVAL really that cruel?
That some of us are just a tool,
a fool for the strong to be cool.

No, it can't be that bad
yet reality is quite sad.

Despite our hard beginnings
Life still is beautiful
that losing isn't everything.

Dignity is placed -
where you respect yourself the most
and Hierarchy isn't important
to where your love is...


© Pax
yeH! a new poem, a longer one and it's been long i haven't rhyme like this. a bit hard when you have limited vocab, my apologies for its simplicity and many thanks for reading.
Pax Mar 2017

From time to time
I feel blue
and cook my own stew.
Its bland and
taste good enough
for my stomach.

I knew from the start
that my cooking
isn't really that great
nor it's appetising.
Atleast
my milk is
sweet.
I'm not fond of sodas
dislike the fact that
it boils my
stomach.

Food, for now
they're within
reach, though
must someday
will come -
starvation is
inevitable



I cooked up a metaphor...
My life in dual meaning.
Pax Mar 2017
To why I did these kind of things
and to why I need to let go
to stop and just live.
Never minding what they say
about me or who I am
or dictate my life should be
I just want to be me
without Hesitation,
Barriers
or wall that blocks me from falling
into the river.
To stop fearing in drowning
and learn to swim
like everybody else has done.
I wrote this awhile back: April-11-2016. I can't believe that this is benefiting to what i felt the other day. I should learn to to swim and learn how to ignore the nonsense people say...
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