Meanwhile
I walk and sway,
hear trains whistle away;
quite enthused these cotton bolls make
me smile

Dance me to sleep
Where you and I are one

Dance me to dawn
To my waking ache

Without you in my day
Dance me to dreams

I'm in a heart of a tree,
Thoughtless yet thoughtful being,
Where a stagnant melody of silence,
Blossoms with poignant dreams.

I'm in a core of the tree,
Growing in a womb, living thing,
Where I fight against a crave to fly,
To ignite an arabesque of the satin sky.

Upraising under watchful eye of ambiguous fate,
Unaware, uncertain, about flow and change,
Unbounded yet rooted, free yet unable to move,
Wanderer returning home, or one that never left its gate.

Light breeze sparks shiver,
Raise what have sunk in slumber,
Echoing a calling to rush,
Into a golden stream of brightness.

I am in the heart of the tree,
Awake, though it feels like a dream.
Am I the heart itself or merely a child?
My farewell...
                         will it bring my beginning or your demise?

Long days filled with laughter,
I was always happy to be with you
Even if it was just for a car ride to the store.

You taught me so much.

Unfortuantly, my brain wasn't a sponge back then.

Instead, it was a hard rock
Or better yet, a ball of rubber bands
Tightly wound and great at deflecting anything that was good for me.

The first time I left was also the first time I ever saw you cry.

A grown man
Sobbing and emotional.

I thought things would never change.

After all, you've always been a phone call away.

But distance turned into more than miles

Distance became the pain that I talk about now when I'm drunk.

It became our undoing.

It became a part of me that I never wanted.

It's been ten years
And I still haven't found the bridge back to us.

I don’t want my words
Turning into streams of mud,
Drowning ears and tongue of mine,
Suffocating helpless mind.

I don’t want my thoughts
To be heavier than the mountains,
Strangling me with piercing chain,
Leaving as an empty shell.

I don’t want to feel this pain
Of every moment being afraid,
Worrying if I’m good enough,
Trying match “the proper” ones.

I don’t want to be alone,
Share my smile with empty wall,
While we all are so the same,
yet afraid of others’ shade.

Will you ever stop and grab,
Hand, I always keep reached out?
Or should I rather sit with note:
“Join me, please, if you want to talk”?

Whenever one lays their eyes upon us,
What is perceived is something that exists
Only at the peripheries of their mind, while
Things that makes us, us, are the opposite.

One would gasp in awe at someone's beauty,
Shiver in excitement about their courage and might,
Imagine countless friends and lovers they have;
How success is their husband and joy is their wife.

Surely, for them, talent blossoms like a flowers,
And everyone knows when and why they laugh, and joins;
And if they ever cry(why would they at all?),
More than one soothing arm awaits their call.

While what is unseen lurks beneath beholder's delusions,
Who wants to see what one envies most and searches for
In oneself in vain. As how they see us is the opposite
of us, true, but the opposite of themselves at the time as well.

Don't look away with your chestnut eyes,
That send shivers along my spine,
Don't look away shyly, tongue-tied,
Worried too much what is on my mind.

Let your eyes wander, stealthily meet with mine,
So I could for a moment wonder what's behind,
That lonely and nostalgic, yet scared and distant look,
Would you mind so much if I spoke to you?

Wish I had known what thought was laying hidden
Beneath your curly hair's dark blond crown,
What sounds would utter your silent lips,
If we both had courage to speak our mind.

Your hands so delicate yet strongly hold to safety,
Like an eagle watching for a single sign to fly;
I wish I could hold them fondly in mine,
Let intimacy tame fear of the foreign.

Not so far physically, yet on the edge of running,
First conversation can't be that harming,
So I pledge to you, stay, as I wish to do,
Who know, maybe next time I will speak to you?