I don't have

a heartless soul,

a fearless mind,

But there's something

Which will always be mine.


Locked up in a dark place

Deep inside

The labyrinth of my mind

There lies my secret

And you have forever been blind

Not to see what I hide.


I blind you more

With my secret illusions

But my heart gets sore

Because it's my delusion

That I will be content

By hiding everything.


The letters of secrets

Fly out of the box

Hovering over my head

Hovering around me

Burying me deep into the ground.


I took hold of my secrets

But now it takes hold of me

And climbs on my back

To stay forever with me.



Your eyes delve into mine,

Finding answers ,

My secret is my history

Implanted in my heart

I'm sorry I can't tell you

Something which is beloved to me.



But sometimes

Wounds are opened again

And it starts to bleed out

The poisonous blood that didn't drain

Out of your soul,

Trapped inside,

Gulping all your tranquility.



I have to be rigid,

But it's hard

I have to be strong,

But I'm not

I have to keep a secret,

But I'm not God.



There's no point in hiding now

I give all my secrets

And you give all your love

Or else I would be buried beneath

Under all the secrets

That I've always kept with me.



But it's time now

To give up all I had,

To give up my history

And to solve the mystery

Which entangled your mind



Now the answers are with you

The answer is my secret

Which I just told you.

The life I've lived
Has been a blissful sin
The blessings of God
Have always been an evil grin.
I don't know what he wants
I don't know if he's even there
I don't know if I believe
As the non-believers are rare.

I belong to the dummy group,
A group following one path
But someday I will break through
The waters of this gloomy bath
Which is told to free us
From the sins we've committed
And get us out of this fuss
But my thoughts about it are limited.

I don't know what I believe in
But I know I believe in myself
And trust my own decisions
That would lead me itself
To another track of life
Different from the one
I don't belong to.

If you find me laughing
Then know I'm sad
My laughter is an illusion
As I've always hidden the sadness I've had
Inside my heart.

If you find me smiling,
Then know I'm depressed
That I just want you to see me happy
That I just want you know
That my life is not that gloomy.

If you see me cry,
Then know that I want to
Express my emotions to you
How I feel every time
And then burst it all out for once in a while.

If you even understand me
Then talk to me like you did
The first day we met
When you hid
Your true self so that you don't get
People running away from you.

If you see my eyes crinkle
Then know that I'm really happy
Like I was a few weeks back
When you didn't show your true self
When you didn't lack
The potential to be a true friend.

All I want to say is
If you meet me again,
It would be a bliss
That you know me better.

I am bound by heavy chains,
Chains of broken swings
The dark room I am in,
Broke my healthy wings.
It has clasped me
In its fierce claws
And now I can't see
Even if there are anymore laws.

The heaviness,
Oh, it's hard to bear
I try choking my breath
But I promised
I will take care,
I won't wreak the life I'll miss
Even if someone already did.

I fall on my knees,
Giving up after
All the pain I felt
And had to bear
While struggling in vain
For something,
But no one cares.

Just then,
A speck of light
Creeps through a crack
The dusty ray,
Falls on my feet, now slack
Calling me by my name
Trying to lift me up,
From this gloomy game.

Taking the warm hand,
I get up with high hopes
But then I realise
I am bound by ropes
Of the tight and heavy chains.

The warmth tells me
Not to stop,
"But I can't move," I say.
"Don't lose hope,
Please come this way."

Clasping his hand,
I move forward
Wishing I could elope
With him from this place
And I won't give up,
If I'm still in this race
I would walk faster,
Increasing my pace.

Suddenly, the chains crack,
Its cracking lullaby
Echoes in this hollow rack.

My feet lift,
Taking a bigger step,
And they rift
The ground that kept
My strength away from me
It's my turn now
To make marks on it
And I somehow
Stab my feet in it
Making it feel the pain I felt
When I was known to be a misfit.

The warmth of his hands,
Supporting when I fall
The warmth of his hand
Bringing me up
When I crawl.

Another step I take,
Not my biggest mistake
Because then,
The chains finally break.

I look up at the sky,
At the dancing auroras
Waving me goodbye,
Singing their fake silent lullaby.

Another step forward,
And my heart will prance
Under the lovely light,
My feet will dance,
Embracing me in
A whole new trance,

*Embracing me in
A whole new trance.

A gamut of of tears
Surrounds our life
It hovers around us
All the time.

The tears of joy
Jump out
When we laugh
For a good reason
When our lips
Refused to take time off
And make a grip
On the opposite corner of your face,
Because someone has made you laugh
And has forever traced
The happiness in your heart.

The tears of pain
When you get hurt
And you tried a lot in vain
To be careful not to get bruises
But it hurts you so much
That your world fuses
Like a worn out bulb.

The tears of sadness
Blurring your vision
Taking you to a wrong path
And your mind has envisioned
That your life does not exist anymore
That you are not important
And you abhor
That you're still living.

Tears of death,
A complete mixture
Of sadness and joy
When your thoughts admixture
All your moments you enjoyed
With all the other moments
That a life could have.

Your handwriting.
The way you walk.
Which songs you sing.

It's all giving you away.
Everything you do shows your hand.
Everything is a self portrait.
Everything is a diary.