I hit my head
My eyes are strained
My neck, it aches
Spiderwebs form in the whites
And knots align the joints back
I sleep far too much
I eat (maybe once)
My head's a mess
My body's a wreck
And I don't think there's anymore I can take
I drink water but am always thirsty
My vision is worsening and my mind is clouding
And as my bones are showing, my eyes are bulging, and my thoughts drift only to "I want to ()"
I look in the mirror saying I might go mad, then again, I think its too late for that

I could fall asleep on endless,
Drop from the stars above,
Drown in the darkness of the pond,
Or dance off the highest peak of the mountains.
I could drive to and through the end of the road,
Drink 'til my liver's thin,
Or dizzlily walk into oncoming traffic,
And, honestly, that would be okay

Its a feeling of loss? But what did I  lose
A mere thought?
Because theres nothing wrong
but something should be?

Im missing something Knowledge? Understanding?
the 'why'
it all just feels wrong
the way i feel is wrong but not necessarily bad its just not me
im ashell of a person
my emotions are so limited and when if i shed tears it is...
why do I cry
i havent lost anything or anyone yet I feel hollow
or is it loneliness
in my thoughts, my feelings?
theres no passion





no pain

what happened to you?
that you were so afraid of messing up
these words mean nothing
and being thrown to the dust
because all these gifts and memories take nothing to the test
hyper visions of misery heightened, the wise are unknown
curses and shadows brew 'round their heads
or stars and spaceships from the planet of the undead

what happedned to you that you felt so empty yet so mad and angry?
a raging fire of something unseen, something unknown
far from your reach
they say expeirence and memories shape who we are
but i cant recall a gooddamn thing that made us who we are

what happedned that you could take that bullet to the head placing that gun inside of their hand?
a trigger, a flash, a ringing sound about
yet nothing splatters at the wall because we know once and for all
that what happened to you happened to me and no matter how much you think it might be
our names will never be graved in that stone
for one
one can only
die
a l o n e

I awoke on the floor all covered in dust
Sweat salty crust
A mixture of blood, sweat, and tears ran
And collagetlated in the sand
A distant humming and deepening groan
Of gutteral intent, from something below
And lifing my eyes all blackened and blue
Closer and closer it grew;

Standing above, puffing its chest
But seeing my eyes had outdone his best
He lifted those black boots again
Smashing my head, caving it in
Knocking my jaw out, nose detatchs thin

As the slits poured with gour
All i could say through broken bones was,
"I can take much... much more."