I don't know what happened
It's like all of a sudden I stopped feeling guilty

I also stopped feeling happiness and joy and love
Every "good" feeling had left me

Therefore I only obtain those "bad" feelings
And these grew bigger
Due to the filling of the vacant space
That once belonged to the good

Hatred, anger, hostility, rage, violence, and vengeance comprised me
In this state I exist
In this state I ****
The only thing left
To rid the world of such an awful creature
I just hope that when I do I can feel some sort of relief
Some sort of good

I hate this ******* world
With it's ******* people
And their ******* logic

So much pain and suffering
So much despair and anger

When can I escape it all
Even then it would be too late

They tell you that you are going to get better
No
You have to get better

Yet you can't even live a life because they are keeping you prisoner
Video taping you at night, monitoring your medicine and food intake
Making sure the knives are locked away

They want you to want to live
But why would you want to if the life they're giving you isn't worth living
In fact it shouldn't even be labeled as living, but surviving
Existing in a world that offers you nothing and you offer it the same

It's like this:
I was thinking the other day,
And like always thinking about how ****** up my past is
Which in conclusion, how ****** up my future is,

Anyway, I was thinking about the fact that through the years I've always been alone
Never with company, and especially not now

You see when you're alone, so truly alone
You are your best friend
But, in turn, your worst enemy

And sadly, in my experience, hate seems stronger than love on this godforsaken earth

So tell the truth:
Wouldn't you want to slam your enemy's head in a wall
Watch them bleed and suffer
Make them become extinct to the people who once loved them
Push them slowly into shadows
Dead to the world

Yeah, me too

****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****, ****.
Oh, ****.
I'm ******.
Everything's gone to ****
I can't even think straight.
Why now?
I have mid-terms tomorrow
And I can't even think straight
I am alone, so alone
It's all ****** now
And I am so, so alone

Sometimes I find myself staring up at the sky 

When the sun is crawling behind the curve of the earth

And I wonder how anybody could ever believe there isn't a God


But then when I am huddled in a corner 

Crying until I cannot breath anymore, feeling so alone

I wonder where is my God